I cheated on her and I don’t know what to do.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over a year and a half, and it’s incredible. There is so much love and care on both sides and we get on like a house on fire since day one. I want to marry this girl one day. I get to see her once every 3-6 weeks usually, as we are both in the UK and travel the distance to see eachother.

We have both recently started at (different) universities, which are again long distance from eachother. Essentially earlier this week I slept with a girl on my course after one thing led to another. I see this as wrong and I do feel bad after building such a strong and deep bond with my girlfriend. However, it did not mean anything at all. It was purely sexual and does not mean I don’t love my girlfriend. I would do anything for her and nothing has changed.

I don’t want to leave her, it would destroy me and I want to be there for her. To me what happened was almost the same as watching porn... just a momentary sexual attraction to make up for being alone and without your partner.

I’m not going to tell her, because why would I do that? However, I would like some advice.
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AzureCeleste
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#2
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You've got to tell her or the guilt we built up. Chances are she will end up finding out one way or another and it's better if it comes from you sooner rather than later.
Additionally if you did really love her you wouldn't have slept with another person
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wastedcuriosity
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If you love someone, the thought of cheating never even crosses your mind. You may think you love her, but the fact you cheated proves you do not.

You need to tell her. The truth always comes out and there's more chance of her forgiving you if you're honest with her.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
You've got to tell her or the guilt we built up. Chances are she will end up finding out one way or another and it's better if it comes from you sooner rather than later.
Additionally if you did really love her you wouldn't have slept with another person
In my opinion, its quite a pathetic excuse. You allowed it to lead to you having sex. I am sorry if I seem cross, but if you did really love her- a 'temptation' is not even a temptation.
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Lexie16
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She deserves to know imo... If you love her as much as you say you do, you’d want to be honest with her even if it does risk your relationship ending. Put yourself in her shoes and see that you’d want to know if it was her who had done this behind your back. For a long distance relationship to work, trust and honesty are essential so if you want it to work out, I’d tell her.
It’s your call though so do what you think is right
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username4094562
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over a year and a half, and it’s incredible. There is so much love and care on both sides and we get on like a house on fire since day one. I want to marry this girl one day. I get to see her once every 3-6 weeks usually, as we are both in the UK and travel the distance to see eachother.

We have both recently started at (different) universities, which are again long distance from eachother. Essentially earlier this week I slept with a girl on my course after one thing led to another. I see this as wrong and I do feel bad after building such a strong and deep bond with my girlfriend. However, it did not mean anything at all. It was purely sexual and does not mean I don’t love my girlfriend. I would do anything for her and nothing has changed.

I don’t want to leave her, it would destroy me and I want to be there for her. To me what happened was almost the same as watching porn... just a momentary sexual attraction to make up for being alone and without your partner.

I’m not going to tell her, because why would I do that? However, I would like some advice.
You only want advice that will make you feel better about not telling her and will excuse you cheating on her.

Sorry but most people will tell you to be a decent person and tell her the truth.

If you don’t want her to leave you, you should have thought about that before you decided to stick your **** in another hole.
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MrMusician95
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One thing led to another? Please, just stop. You need to tell her and hope she forgives you. She's Moe likely to forgive you if it comes from you, but if she finds out from someone else you won't have a chance.

And I don't want to sound like a **** but if you won't tell her I hope she finds out from someone else. If I knew her I wouldn't hesitate to tell her. Guys like you make me sick.
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UWS
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#8
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Porn is fantasy.

****ing someone is a reality.

Stop trying to sugar coat things to justify your actions, you screwed up and she deserves to know.

If you cannot handle lack of intimacy or loneliness, why get involved with a long distance relationship? If this is your way of handling being alone, then you're not ready for a relationship. I think you need to reflect on your actions and face the music. You were brave enough to **** a girl behind your girlfriend's back, then you're big enough to tell her.
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Nabopolassar
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#9
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Disgusting, shame on you, especially if you don't tell her.
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Curious_G
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#10
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I'm on the controversial opinion that if it was merely a kiss due to a lack of thinking during the time, fine... but full on sex with someone? She has to know either way, just learn from this.
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Anonymous #3
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My bestfriend cheated on her long distance boyfriend and she was Portuguese and he was from Portugal lol
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Anonymous #1
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To clarify, I feel terrible about it and am just trying to justify it to myself. I feel sick about it and I have barely eaten.

It wasn’t sex, it was kissing, cuddling, and at one point dry humping. It’s terrible I know.

I’m still not going to tell her though because nothing positive will come out of that. Rather, I’m going to just use my guilt as motivation to make her happy and never do it again.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over a year and a half, and it’s incredible. There is so much love and care on both sides and we get on like a house on fire since day one. I want to marry this girl one day. I get to see her once every 3-6 weeks usually, as we are both in the UK and travel the distance to see eachother.

We have both recently started at (different) universities, which are again long distance from eachother. Essentially earlier this week I slept with a girl on my course after one thing led to another. I see this as wrong and I do feel bad after building such a strong and deep bond with my girlfriend. However, it did not mean anything at all. It was purely sexual and does not mean I don’t love my girlfriend. I would do anything for her and nothing has changed.

I don’t want to leave her, it would destroy me and I want to be there for her. To me what happened was almost the same as watching porn... just a momentary sexual attraction to make up for being alone and without your partner.

I’m not going to tell her, because why would I do that? However, I would like some advice.
People like you are ridiculous. "Boo, I cheated and now I feel soooo guilty, it's killing me!" Just forget about it and move on, it's not that big of a deal.
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Qaz25
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"I love her so much.... that I decided to get it on with another girl"

That, ladies and gentlemen, is clearly true love.
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To clarify, I feel terrible about it and am just trying to justify it to myself. I feel sick about it and I have barely eaten.

It wasn’t sex, it was kissing, cuddling, and at one point dry humping. It’s terrible I know.

I’m still not going to tell her though because nothing positive will come out of that. Rather, I’m going to just use my guilt as motivation to make her happy and never do it again.
Man, just shut up. If you can't out yourself in her shoes and realise why you should tell her then you don't deserve her. I hope someone she knows finds out you cheated and tells her.

All I'm going to say is sooner or later she will find out and if it's not from you she will leave you. I promise you. Someone I know was cheating on his wife for four years and she just found out and **** has gone crazy. You've already been a terrible bf, now do the right thing and tell her.
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Kiyomiwong95x
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Did this other girl know about your girl if not she's joining in with the cheating and hate it to break it to ya but its bare messy mate
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SoulfulTwist
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The truth always comes out in the end.
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1secondsofvamps
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#18
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Your gf deserves better than you.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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#19
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preach dude....

I agree if OP loved her why would he do that, people should no the consequences of a long-distant relationship ofc you're gonna be effin alone, thats how people in long distance relationship work they're a test of loyalty and faith..

okay he made a mistake but hes making it worse not telling her if she finds out from any other person she'd see him as deceitful hurtful or not she deserves to know the truth so i suggest that the OP tells her, and whether she stays with him or not is up to her,
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over a year and a half, and it’s incredible. There is so much love and care on both sides and we get on like a house on fire since day one. I want to marry this girl one day. I get to see her once every 3-6 weeks usually, as we are both in the UK and travel the distance to see eachother.

We have both recently started at (different) universities, which are again long distance from eachother. Essentially earlier this week I slept with a girl on my course after one thing led to another. I see this as wrong and I do feel bad after building such a strong and deep bond with my girlfriend. However, it did not mean anything at all. It was purely sexual and does not mean I don’t love my girlfriend. I would do anything for her and nothing has changed.

I don’t want to leave her, it would destroy me and I want to be there for her. To me what happened was almost the same as watching porn... just a momentary sexual attraction to make up for being alone and without your partner.

I’m not going to tell her, because why would I do that? However, I would like some advice.
Break up with her so she can be with someone who actually respects her.

If you did love her there is no way in hell you would even consider cheating on her.
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