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Sick of being a public enemy

Being a public enemy among st the people I know when I just want to be liked is becoming really annoying. I don't try too hard in order for people to like me I just be myself but it seems nobody likes that version of me. I have three people that I 'could' classify as friends and I feel one of them is growing thin of me already, the other one I feel only hangs out with me when I have alcohol and money and the last one has to put up with me because we've known each other since primary school.

Besides that everyone seems to hate me. I fight a lot, I get into a lot of physical fist fights and it will be over the stupidest things like my sexuality or people will see me as a weak target as I don't look tough at all and will try and start something for no reason and when I stand up for myself it's all seen as my fault. I'm never one to throw a punch first, not unless I'm heavily provoked about my sexuality or something.

I've been through I'd say at least ten different friend circles and I'm only 22 and I've been single for 5+ years with no one wanting to date me. When I meet new people I'm always polite but it seems that when we're in a group nobody is ever interested in what I have to say and I'm the one that's always left out. I understand that they obviously don't find me interesting but I'm still a human being and it upsets me.

It feels like it's okay for people to be rude to me and no one ever defends me but if it was to be the other way around, me being the rude one others would bring it up and correct me so it's all double standard rules.

Nobody is giving me a chance, and not only that but they go out of their way to make sure I know about it. I'm sick of having no friends and I'm sick of being single. All I have that keeps me going are cringey cliches such as there's someone out there for everyone but I'm not getting any younger, I'll probably be still having this issue when I'm 30, and then what 40?. I really don't want that to happen.

So what can I do to make friends??? I've tried apps etc to make friends or date and when I get talking to people it never seems to lead anywhere and then I'll eventually get the sting of seeing that they're in a relationship with someone else they've met on there. I have three years experience on using meeting apps so I've now given up on that idea. I've even reached out to people I went school with on Facebook, (In a friendly way and not flirty) and they just don't want to know as they all have their own lifes to lead and all already have friends so they don't care for making new ones as much or relinking.

My looks aren't the reason, it's because of my personality that nobody seems to like. Without sounding shallow I'll constantly see couples together when I'm out and about and some of the time I'll see males and females together holding hands and what not and I'll see myself as much better looking then the guy but I wouldn't dream of getting a girl that's as pretty as that. It's the same with guys and guys that I see on Facebook, I'll see myself as better looking but I'm the one that's stuck as single, so it's obviously my personality that's holding me back.

I really need ideas on how to meet new exciting people that will like me for me. I currently don't work as I deal with nerve damage and am waiting for an ankle operation so that's one reason to why I don't meet as many people as the average person my age would, I don't get out all that much. But I am willing to go out my way to join clubs or whatever, I'd be willing to give that a try. But what clubs? I'm also willing to try friends/dating apps again but I need a good one where people actually want to make friends or date and aren't just on there for a joke or because they're bored. The amount of messages I send out to replies I get makes you want to give up.

I've also had a bad experience on a dating app, I met this lad and the first time we met he spent the entire night whinging about his back because he decided to jump on a table back first and break it, despite nothing was wrong with his back he was just looking for attention and the second time we met he sat there on a dating app looking for sex while I was sat next to him which prompted me to block him on Facebook and never see him again.

If I could make friends then I wouldn't be single for long I don't think because friends help friends find people etc and introduce their friends to other friends so I'm put at a disadvantage in that way, I've had lots of situations where I'd be talking to someone and it would all be going well for someone in the group to rudely walk over with a friend of theirs and be like 'This is such and such and they're single' and elbow me out of the way and not really care.

I need ideas on websites I can use to meet people (not phone apps as my phones currently broke) groups I can join and general ideas on what I can do to help me meet new people. I'm looking for friends that are around my age, I've looked at clubs before and have been to a meet friends meet up but I was the youngest one there and I didn't have anything in common, they were all middle aged. I had a nice time but I couldn't see anything coming out of it so I didn't go to another one after that.

Ideas? I'd be willing to talk to people on here as friends but I suppose that's not really what this website is for.

Reply 1

hello_shawn

You'd be a great politician judging by the first few lines. Once you started harping on about wanting to be liked, it made you look really weak. People like those that are true to themselves, they can spot a fake from miles away. The only way you can attract good things to yourself is to be something you yourself feels attracted to, if that makes sense.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by hello_shawn

I don't bang on about wanting to be liked in person though and I also don't try too hard. At first I didn't really care about not having too many friends but now it's been years and it's beginning to get to me. So if people have never liked me, even when I wasn't desperate then it can't be that. I've never been liked.

I also know a lot of fake people who don't have trouble making friends. Most people are fake these days. I'm also never given a chance, for example a friend of mine could be like 'Oh this is Adam' (That's not my real name but just using it on here) and they'll go oh hey and then go back to talking to someone else, with next to no enthusiasm or interest shown. So I'm not even given a chance. If I want people to notice me it's always me having to go out my way and meeting them way over the half way line.

Reply 3

hello_shawn

Hmm, will you be patient enough to wait until after your ankle operation? Also how about finding out what you can offer in the workplace? You don't have to go for interviews just yet, it's just making sure you're prepared for the contact with people you don't know (like a date, but with people more professional than the ones you've endured) on the day after your ankle op. Hopefully your CV can explain that long absence from work and what you've done to remain employable :smile: