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Should I break up with my bf?

This is my first boyfriend. I have been with him 4 months and it is a long distance relationship where I see him every fortnight. I don't know what is normal or not for relationships because this is my first. Due to us meeting every 2 week's, our conversation is dependent on text interaction. He texts everyday but his texts are boring and he doesn't use my name. He says night in the middle of the conversation. When the conversation is over, I find myself thinking of other men caused he leaves me so dissatisfied. I would like him to say something cute that I laugh at or think isn't he nice, especially when I don't see him. Instead, it is me saying things like I miss you, to which he replied you too. I also would like him to call me by my name or some petname or something. Is this needy of me because honestly his messages leave me feeling so fruststed. I have told him this and he said how are you gorgeous once and this lasted a day before returning to old ways. What do you guys think?
Original post by Anonymous
This is my first boyfriend. I have been with him 4 months and it is a long distance relationship where I see him every fortnight. I don't know what is normal or not for relationships because this is my first. Due to us meeting every 2 week's, our conversation is dependent on text interaction. He texts everyday but his texts are boring and he doesn't use my name. He says night in the middle of the conversation. When the conversation is over, I find myself thinking of other men caused he leaves me so dissatisfied. I would like him to say something cute that I laugh at or think isn't he nice, especially when I don't see him. Instead, it is me saying things like I miss you, to which he replied you too. I also would like him to call me by my name or some petname or something. Is this needy of me because honestly his messages leave me feeling so fruststed. I have told him this and he said how are you gorgeous once and this lasted a day before returning to old ways. What do you guys think?


Relationship life can be tough. It can also be great when there is a great communication and consideration but if it doesn’t workout; you are free to walkway. This is how it is.
I find myself thinking of other men caused he leaves me so dissatisfied.


That is the key statement in all this. If you're not satisfied, move on. Same as if you bought a restaurant meal or car or clothes with which you weren't satisfied.

One thing that does come over in the opening post is that you have the usual mindset that many new to relationships have. In that you keep imagining him behaving like you want him to behave. This is too much of a puppet-mastery attitude to have. For your next relationship, try to loosen up a bit and be more tolerant of his behaviour. People are complex beings. They aren't robots programmed to fulfill your every whim.

The key here is in the recruitment. Not necessarily hooking up with the first guy that comes along. But being selective, whilst not being over selective. This is something that gets easier with experience. Knowing what sort of man to look for and the best places to find such a man.

The main thing that you want is a man that is compatible (enough) with you.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger

This is too much of a puppet-mastery attitude to have.



This is not true at all. She does not demand that he behaves in a certain way. She just misses affection from his part in their conversations. He acts casual towards her and does not show any affection, which causes her to not feel loved. Completely understandable.
Original post by Anonymous
This is not true at all. She does not demand that he behaves in a certain way. She just misses affection from his part in their conversations. He acts casual towards her and does not show any affection, which causes her to not feel loved. Completely understandable.

From the opening post, the OP's complaints about her boyfriends behaviour are centred about his texts during the 2 weeks that they are apart.
We know nothing about his behaviour when they are together. If that is lacking then the OP should have focused on telling us about that - as face to face real life behaviour tells us far more about the state of the boyfriends emotions than his texting behaviour.

It could be as simple as his texting style isn't very good or isn't to the OP's liking.


It's also not true to say that he doesn't show ANY affection as when she texts him to say I miss you he texts back to say "You too".
Reply 5
By the sound of it already, you should break up with him. But first think of all the good things that's happened between you two. The good memories and activities you both shared. Then decide.

It's only been 6 months, my ex once said to me that we'll grow together as individuals as much as we'll grow together as a couple, and we spent some time talking to understand what we want and need to understand. I get you, she's an 'ex' now but that's because her parents didn't want her to have a boyfriend.

So this means your relationship has a chance to be fixed if you really want it to. To have a call and talk constructively about how you both can be better for each other, how to treat each other and so on. We appreciate you telling us on how he should be, but he too will benefit from the same amount of criticism and would likely treat you better if you advise him properly.

'I've something to tell you but it makes me uncomfortable and I haven't wanted to say it... sometimes our conversations are bland and maybe both of us can do something to make it more exciting...' etc

Best Wishes,
Ewique
It just sounds like you aren’t all that interested in each other to be honest.

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