The Student Room Group

Lonely at university

During the first two weeks or so, I was really soaking up the Uni life. I would go out almost every day (which is pretty amazing, considering before I used to only ever go out once a week or so). Even when I had no one to go with, I would get on a bus to the next city over or something. It felt good. Now, however, I'm back to my old ways of finishing a lecture and spending the rest of the day loping around in my accommodation. A big part of this is down to the fact that I no longer have free bus travel, so I can't be going out so much. Also the fact that even though I'm just 4 weeks in, the workload is insane.

I made a small group of friends during the first week but they are sort of "sanctioning off" and leaving me out, not inviting me to places etc. I accidentally noticed that they even created a new group chat without me, which was pretty painful.

I made friends with a handful of guys, but they have gone down one of two routes; scraped when they figured out that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, didn't want to smash, or both OR super flirty to the point where I'm extremely uncomfortable and reluctant to hang out with them. I have met other girls in societies but it never goes beyond small talk, and they have all established their own friendship groups from lectures, flatmates etc.

I am starting to feel all the excitement seeping away. I had high expectations for uni. I thought I'd make friends who I could really connect with....
Reply 1
You will, it just takes time. Is there a way you can sort your bus travel?
Reply 2
Original post by Bogotá
You will, it just takes time. Is there a way you can sort your bus travel?


unfortunately not. Since I turned 18, my zip oyster expired so now I have to pay up to £4.50 just to get the train to London and also pay for bus
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
unfortunately not. Since I turned 18, my zip oyster expired so now I have to pay up to £4.50 just to get the train to London and also pay for bus

Pretty sure there’s a railcard that works on buses too? Or at least a bus version? Do you mind saying what uni you are at?
If you get a 16-25 railcard, you can link it to your Oyster card and get 1/3 off fares (after 10am). That would save you quite a bit of money.
Reply 5
Original post by Bogotá
Pretty sure there’s a railcard that works on buses too? Or at least a bus version? Do you mind saying what uni you are at?

Is there? I’m only aware of the train railcard. It might give me a small discount, but I’m still too broke to be travelling “unnecessarily.”

And id rather not say which uni I’m at •_•””” but it’s in London.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Is there? I’m only aware of the train railcard. It might give me a small discount, but I’m still too broke to be travelling “unnecessarily.”

And id rather not say which uni I’m at •_•””” but it’s in London.

Hmm I’ll guess imperial because that’s a boring one. See if you can join more societies, it’s early days there will be plenty like you I promise you that.
Original post by Anonymous
During the first two weeks or so, I was really soaking up the Uni life. I would go out almost every day (which is pretty amazing, considering before I used to only ever go out once a week or so). Even when I had no one to go with, I would get on a bus to the next city over or something. It felt good. Now, however, I'm back to my old ways of finishing a lecture and spending the rest of the day loping around in my accommodation. A big part of this is down to the fact that I no longer have free bus travel, so I can't be going out so much. Also the fact that even though I'm just 4 weeks in, the workload is insane.

I made a small group of friends during the first week but they are sort of "sanctioning off" and leaving me out, not inviting me to places etc. I accidentally noticed that they even created a new group chat without me, which was pretty painful.

I made friends with a handful of guys, but they have gone down one of two routes; scraped when they figured out that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, didn't want to smash, or both OR super flirty to the point where I'm extremely uncomfortable and reluctant to hang out with them. I have met other girls in societies but it never goes beyond small talk, and they have all established their own friendship groups from lectures, flatmates etc.

I am starting to feel all the excitement seeping away. I had high expectations for uni. I thought I'd make friends who I could really connect with....

juss hang in there, things will improve
Reply 8
Welcome to the real world where people don't give a **** :biggrin:
Hang in there, you could join clubs and societies and converse with people in lectures and tutorials.
I am so lonely, and I'm a 'mature' student. I go home quite often - I'm a couple of hours away and honestly, I'm about 15 years older than a lot of the other students, so I think why would they want me about. Sometimes I just feel like a nuisance speaking to people. I already have anxiety.

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