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What is the best way to get a girlfriend at university?

I have just recently started university and have still not talked to a lot of girls. I have a good group of friends who I can talk to easily but when it comes to talking to girls I am more shy. I used to be very shy in general but I am a lot more confident now and I can confidently talk to girls but it is making the first move and approaching girls that scares me. I have only talked one on one to less than a handful of girls here only because they have made the first move in trying to get to know me and the conversations went well and I wasn't nervous, however I haven't actually started any conversations with girls yet. I am an attractive guy and have even had some girls smile at me in passing but the fact that most of my friends who were single when they came to uni have now got girlfriends is making me pretty sad. Even some guys who are quiet and shy here I have recently seen holding hands with girls and in all honesty seeing guys who are less confident than me with girls is something that hurt me. Also when approaching girls I want to remain confident and not run out of things to talk about. On weekends usually everyone hangs out in the common room in our halls to drink before going out clubbing but approaching a girl I haven't talked to before and starting a conversation is something that scares me even though I know it shouldn't. How did any of you who have girlfriends at university get them in the first place and what are the best steps for me to take in the near future to ensure I get a girlfriend?

Reply 1

Analyst89

Join clubs and socities, mingle with people there and when you seem them, chat to them.

Converse with people at lectures, tutorials.

If you talk to females, all the better and you could form a social group, get introduced to different people and also get invited to parties where there will be more opportunities.

Reply 2

Bio 7

Why is it you get shy around them? What makes them different the the guys you talk to?

Reply 3

Justanotherguyy

Original post by Bio 7

Why is it you get shy around them? What makes them different the the guys you talk to?

It's just the fact that I am attracted to them and there is a lot more pressure to make the right first impression and not screw up.

Reply 4

Bio 7

Original post by Justanotherguyy

It's just the fact that I am attracted to them and there is a lot more pressure to make the right first impression and not screw up.

Why not try just making friends with them instead, build up your ability first. Getting a girlfriend isn't going to be a turning point for you, you won't have problems they can fix im sure, so you can try that and see if it gets easier for you. You may find that helps you later on as you can get to know them better.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I don't feel like I have the expertise to guide you in relationships but: just because your friends have girlfriends, this doesn't mean you need to 'get' one. It's not about competition. If you want to socialise with the opposite gender, it is important to stress that you see both genders as equal. No one is superior over another so there is no reason why you should feel shy about talking to your opposite gender.