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    I don't really enjoy anything such as clubbing, parties, sports etc. Being at uni I feel like if I don't like any of these things people find you boring and it's harder to make and keep friends.

    I don't have any actual hobbies. I normally go for walks, go on tumblr and sometimes read fanfiction (not even actual books). Being in my early 20's I feel like I should have more going on in my life. At the same time, even though I really want a new hobby and start doing more things in my every day life, I can't think of anything I would actually enjoy doing.

    Idk, just wanted to know if anyone can relate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really enjoy anything such as clubbing, parties, sports etc. Being at uni I feel like if I don't like any of these things people find you boring and it's harder to make and keep friends.

    I don't have any actual hobbies. I normally go for walks, go on tumblr and sometimes read fanfiction (not even actual books). Being in my early 20's I feel like I should have more going on in my life. At the same time, even though I really want a new hobby and start doing more things in my every day life, I can't think of anything I would actually enjoy doing.

    Idk, just wanted to know if anyone can relate.
    You’re not the only person, I guess you just need to meet people who are similar to you, share your interests and you’ll be able to open up a bit more!
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    I am a girl that has gone to maybe two parties in the last two years. I also dont have any hobbies at the moment, just studying. I dont use my hobbies to make friends. I use my personality and if someone is nice to me i will be nice to them. You are not boring, you just havent found your crowd yet. Look at the clubs. uni is amazing for the number of clubs they have. I am sure there is a club relating to the fanfiction you like or something similar enough to that. You might find a walking club or a group of people who go for walks around the campus or something lets say every monday morning. There are alot of random things that goes on in uni that doesnt have to be only for sporty or party people
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    Ive had this problem for a while now. I've tried clubbing before, but it felt like an ongoing game of charades trying to talk to people. Also having tinnitus for 3 days after wasn't worth it either.

    I've always felt a bit boring, mainly because I'm not used to trying new things in general. I'd consider myself socially anxious, as I usually feel uncomfortable doing new things on my own.

    I've been trying new things recently to help myself get out of my shell. I've been going to the gym for a couple weeks now, which feels great.

    I guess it's just finding something that suits you. I'll be honest, I'm still stuck with this. It'd be nice to meet some new people, it's just difficult when you're not used to finding something new to do. I feel like crap for not having a proper hobby. It's just I've never really fiund anything for me. I'd say you're not the only one that feels this way, so there's no need to worry.
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    (Original post by Jorden21)
    Ive had this problem for a while now. I've tried clubbing before, but it felt like an ongoing game of charades trying to talk to people. Also having tinnitus for 3 days after wasn't worth it either.

    I've always felt a bit boring, mainly because I'm not used to trying new things in general. I'd consider myself socially anxious, as I usually feel uncomfortable doing new things on my own.

    I've been trying new things recently to help myself get out of my shell. I've been going to the gym for a couple weeks now, which feels great.

    I guess it's just finding something that suits you. I'll be honest, I'm still stuck with this. It'd be nice to meet some new people, it's just difficult when you're not used to finding something new to do. I feel like crap for not having a proper hobby. It's just I've never really fiund anything for me. I'd say you're not the only one that feels this way, so there's no need to worry.
    I was thinking of joining the gym. I want to start strength training but I literally don't know anything about the weights section and every gym induction I've been to the gym had been busy and full of buff guys which intimidates me. That being said, I plan on forcing myself to go within the next few months when I eventually get out of my overdraft
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    Never judge yourself on what you feel you "should" be doing. If you feel bored by what you're doing then that's different, but if you're content then so what? Who cares if others would rather do more than you? It's not an issue unless it bothers you. I am a very simple person, and I enjoy TV, books, walks and music - and I could never be bothered going clubbing even when I was 18. Some people have said I'm boring, but my friends just know me now so they know what to invite me to and what not to bother with!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was thinking of joining the gym. I want to start strength training but I literally don't know anything about the weights section and every gym induction I've been to the gym had been busy and full of buff guys which intimidates me. That being said, I plan on forcing myself to go within the next few months when I eventually get out of my overdraft
    It can be scary at first, but you'll get comfortable soon enough. When people start going to the gym, they would have been in the same position as you. Unless if they're morons, they won't laugh at you or anything.

    My uni has a free gym, so I'm taking advantage of it. I'd assume you'd already know, but if your uni has a free gym, that's probably the best place to go. They have staff that can give you exercise plans etc to help you get started. If you know what machines/ equipment your gym has, you can look up how they work online if you really wanted to.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really enjoy anything such as clubbing, parties, sports etc. Being at uni I feel like if I don't like any of these things people find you boring and it's harder to make and keep friends.

    I don't have any actual hobbies. I normally go for walks, go on tumblr and sometimes read fanfiction (not even actual books). Being in my early 20's I feel like I should have more going on in my life. At the same time, even though I really want a new hobby and start doing more things in my every day life, I can't think of anything I would actually enjoy doing.

    Idk, just wanted to know if anyone can relate.
    The thing is anyone's interests aren't boring to people who share them. Clubbing, parties, and sports neccesarily occur socially. This means that if you enjoy partying, you're going to be doing it with other people. Reading fanfiction isn't something that requires other people, so you're not going to passively expose yourself to new potential friends with that granted in common. If you do a sport, chances are the people there like sports, so you can start conversations easily. The manner in which you are meeting people matters a lot; you can be comfortable around a fellow sportsman because you have a good measure of how they're going to act in the context. This is not always the case if you try to start a conversation about what you saw on tumblr with a stranger.

    It's easy to overestimate the average person's social skills when you see people who make friends in these situations a lot. The truth is, most people don't have many social skills, but they are good at following the contextual script underlying these essentially social activities. If you met the very same person without the context, chances are they'd be as awkward as you.

    Regardless, what you say about it being harder to keep friends is true. Repeated exposure to any stimulus results in people reporting more positive reaction to it. This is straightforwardly called the "exposure effect". If you have a routine of social activities, like playing football together every Thursday, you are going to end up liking the people there even if you don't make any real effort to make friends. The answer, of course, is to spend time with people to keep them as friends - of course this is easier said than done when you don't share a reason to do things together.

    There is no dirth of research to suggest that some people are solitary things, and that just forcing yourself to be social won't mean you'll enjoy it or grow to become gregarious. If your personality has crystalised into introversion, there is only so far outside that you can go before you'll need to fall back on your natural tendencies. There is nothing really you can do about that, aside from perhaps coming to terms with yourself. Don't beat yourself up about it, it won't help, and you'll just grow to resent yourself for it.

    Instead of trying to find a hobby you expect you'll like, you can just try hobbies and see what sticks. This is not an efficient method, but it might circumvent the problem of having to find something you'll like to start getting out more. For example, you could join some sort of club to learn a skill you admire, like an art club, even if you suck at it - or something you think would be useful, like taking some self-defence classes. The pressure to make friends is off in that case and makes starting up easier.

    I used to feel like this, and to be honest, I often do still feel lonely. What I discovered by watching my thoughts when I'm socialising, is that I don't really have anything to say to other people. I don't really enjoy socialising that much, and I'm not in control of who I am. So my strategy is to do my own thing, if people want to join in, I'll welcome their company. The first thing you should do is really think about whether you want to socialise, or if you feel like it is the obligatory and "proper" mode of being. If you don't really want to, you'll just be wasting your time.
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    (Original post by Trust Orang)
    Instead of trying to find a hobby you expect you'll like, you can just try hobbies and see what sticks. This is not an efficient method, but it might circumvent the problem of having to find something you'll like to start getting out more. For example, you could join some sort of club to learn a skill you admire, like an art club, even if you suck at it - or something you think would be useful, like taking some self-defence classes. The pressure to make friends is off in that case and makes starting up easier.

    I used to feel like this, and to be honest, I often do still feel lonely. What I discovered by watching my thoughts when I'm socialising, is that I don't really have anything to say to other people. I don't really enjoy socialising that much, and I'm not in control of who I am. So my strategy is to do my own thing, if people want to join in, I'll welcome their company. The first thing you should do is really think about whether you want to socialise, or if you feel like it is the obligatory and "proper" mode of being. If you don't really want to, you'll just be wasting your time.
    This is such a late reply but I relate to this paragraph so much. A lot of the times when I meet new people I'm not scared to speak to them per se but my mind is literally blank. So I feel that my interactions with them are forced and therefore it becomes a chore to me.

    I like the idea of doing something that will help me develop a new skill. Only thing is that I have to find something cheap (I'm always drawn to the things that cost a bit of money). But I'm definitely going to take that advice on board.
 
 
 
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