what grade would this get in gcse

Would help if you said the question and how many marks it was

Try to compare both poems in each paragraph. Write about structure, rhyme, repetition, who wrote them and why they were written. Try and sophisticate you language as well to up your marks

okay, thank you x

Ozymandias is about a ruined statue of a powerful ruler who once controlled an ancient kingdom, Shelley browning represents that Ozymandias was a harsh and arrogant ruler. A quote is “His sneer of cold command”, his “sneer” shows that Ozymandias somewhat abused his power because he was cruel leader and the word ‘sneer’ has a contemptuous, unpleasant sound. This makes the reader think that Ozymandias was most likely a dictator in the ancient kingdom. There is a harsh alliteration “cold command” the repetition of ‘c’ at the start of both words gives a representation of power.

Shelley also presents Ozymandias as narcissistic and superior. A quote is “king of kings” which is a biblical reference to Jesus, this shows that Ozymandias saw himself as god like and thought he was greater than everyone, this makes the reader think that Ozymandias is obnoxious and self-obsessed because he is comparing himself to god. Shelley uses another alliteration when mentioning the emptiness of the desert which survived more longer then the statue of Ozymandias which is now broken. The word “bare” shows that there is nothing left of Ozymandias after he died because his statue has collapsed, which could mean all the influence he had has now collapsed. The rhythm of the iambic pentameter also represents a heartbeat which is ironic because his life has already ended at this point.

In the poem London, Blake however shows those in a higher social class and have wealth also have power. He does this by using the metaphor “every black’ning church appalls” this could mean that his exposing the dark side of the church and how they are not looking after the people like they should, using the word ‘black’ connotes to evil. The quote “blood down palace walls” the palace could mean where the rich people lived and how Blake is showing how the higher up people in that society are spilling blood of soldiers to keep their comfort of living in a palace.

In conclusion both poems show present power and how both poets feel like power is in the wrong hands and have devastating consequences on the innocent lives. In Ozymandias he has said to have power over his enemies and his own people and in London the rich people have more power than the poor.

A good body to an essay; although as mentioned, it would flow a lot better if you switch between talking about each poem, so talk a bit about Ozymandias, then a bit about London, then conclude for both of them too.

I would also perhaps find a different way to end it, rather than 'in conclusion', as examiners find this is too overused. Try something like 'throughout this discourse I have discussed...' and take it from there!

Best of luck.