The Student Room Group

Should I report my flatmate for playing loud music?

So I'm a third year living in a 4 bedroom flat. 2 of my flatmates are also third years, and are not very sociable and are quiet 99% of the time because, like me they have a lot of important work to be getting on with.

One of the rooms is a studio room so basically only the 3 of us share the communal kitchen to cook. The flatmate living in the studio room is a first year. So I understand that she wants to go out and get drunk and have an amazing time.

Now in my first 2 years of uni I've lived in halls and I've heard and experienced many annoying things like loud music and *off-putting* noises. And I've always been able to tolerate it.

However this one flatmate who lives in the studio room is...unbearable.

Once or twice a week she has friends over and they have pre-drinks in the shared kitchen. Okay, I understand that because it's a big open space and not a lot of people can fit in her studio, that it's perfect for her to just hang in there before going out. However, a few weeks ago, their music was blaring until about 1am. I went into the kitchen in the morning and I had to walk through big puddles of alcohol and juice on the floor. And what's worse is that they had used my tea-towel to mop up the juice on the table and just left it there all scrunched up. I did talk to her about the mess that day and she said that it was all her friends mess and she had passed out on her bed. But she didn't clean up, she left that all to me.

Now here's the reason why I'm so tempted to report her to the accommodation supervisors. In the space of 2 weeks I've woken up to her music blaring. My room is right next to hers. The first time I was woken up by her blasting music at 5:30am. I could hear she had company and it went on until about 6:30-7am.

This morning though it was worse, she was playing music which shook my whole room and woke me up at 2:50am. It went on until about 3:30am. The bass was so strong that my heart was beating in my chest and I nearly had a panic attack. I went to the kitchen for some water and you could hear it loud and clear in the hallway. I had a 9am lecture this morning which I missed because I was so tired from her waking me up that I overslept.

I'm just not sure if I should report her or see if it continues any longer?
I can't talk to her about it because she is out for most of the day and I hate confrontation. I'm a very anxious and socially awkward person and to think about someone knowing I have a problem with them sends my anxiety crazy.

I have a lot of important work to complete this year which means I need to get a good amount of sleep. I'm sure that my other 2 flatmates have a lot of important work too. I can't deal with this anymore.

Should I report my flatmate?
Or should I let it slide until it gets overbearing?

(please be kind and try to understand my situation as i've had people comment in the past telling me to not be so silly and were basically really rude and apathetic )
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 1
damn, that sounds like the worst. i get why you're on the fence - it's kinda awkward, right, and i have social anxiety sooooo. yeah. totally understand. if you really don't want to talk to her about it, i'd probably report her. people would probably think you're being a killjoy or whatever, but you're important too. you need to study! she should be more considerate about that!
It doesn’t matter what year you are all in. You don’t have to put up with any of that.
I wouldn’t report her, though. Not yet, anyway. Just tell her straight that she’s not the only one living there and she needs to keep the noise down.
If she doesn’t play ball, then report her.
Have you spoken to your other two flatmates? If they agree living with her is problematic then the three of you could plan to approach her together to talk about the noise. It would also be worthwhile to make clear to her that if she has friends over that she is responsible for any damages and cleaning up any mess they might make.
Original post by luccino
damn, that sounds like the worst. i get why you're on the fence - it's kinda awkward, right, and i have social anxiety sooooo. yeah. totally understand. if you really don't want to talk to her about it, i'd probably report her. people would probably think you're being a killjoy or whatever, but you're important too. you need to study! she should be more considerate about that!

yeah, i don't care about being a killjoy.

if i see any of my flatmates around i could ask them if they can hear her music too and see what they think i should do.
Reply 5
I know that you hate confrontation, but I would really talk to her about the problems and the effects it has on you. Explain why it's pissing you off and that fact that you're a 3rd year. Maybe ask her to not play music past a certain time, or play it quieter.
If she doesn't listen, then you can report her, or talk to your other flatmates if they have the same problem and take it from there as you have quite a few people on your side.
If you report it without talking to her first, it'll make her feel negative to you and things can go wrong from there. If you report it, and she gets a complaint from the landlord or council, then she'll automatically know who reported it and new problems will occur.
That's just my idea though.
Original post by sinfonietta
Have you spoken to your other two flatmates? If they agree living with her is problematic then the three of you could plan to approach her together to talk about the noise. It would also be worthwhile to make clear to her that if she has friends over that she is responsible for any damages and cleaning up any mess they might make.

They've said that they haven't even met her yet. But yeah, I'll definitely ask them about it next time I see them. Thanks for commenting!
Speak to your other flatmates about it.
We had some similar problems with some of our flatmates and we just all had a discussion over it, making compromises.
If they wanted pre's they have to tell us the day before (so that those who aren't interested in them can make alternative arrangements to be elsewhere to get some stuff down), they also are limited to once a week (which seems fair enough when other people also have flats to host them).
Then concerning music, our accomodation has rules of quiet time between 11 and 8, so they just have to be quiet then (sometimes it ends up being more 11:15, but it's only 15 mins more). Maybe implement something like that, or if she wants to listen to music after these times then put in headphones!
We also have a rule that by 10/11 the next day, the kitchen must be in a decent state so that people can at least use the surfaces and then properly cleaned by the evening.
One thing- don't clean up after her or she will continuously think you will do it and you don't want her to have that impression.

If after a discussion with everyone, nothing improves then I'd speak to your accomodation services
She needs to realise she is living with 3rd years. I mean thus would be too much for freshers but it is par for the course really... But you're 3rd years and your studies ate important.

You do need to talk to her. I'd recommend seeing if you can get all thrree of you together and tell her she needs to stop. Perhaps that's will have the added benefit of one of your flat mates taking the lead too...

If she carries on then sure report her but give her a chance or you may make things worse.

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