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Relationship advice

My boyfriend and I were together for a year. We always got on well but in the last month of our relationship he began to change and kept having a go at me for the way I spoke, moved, basically anything, he said he couldn’t help it but for some reason I was just really annoying him. So I tried my best to fix whatever was annoying him but it didn’t really help. Then he broke up with me bc he said that he wasn’t in the right head space for a relationship. I tried to resist and not let him do this bc I know that whatever is going on in his head is causing him to lash out and I knew that it wasn’t in his nature to treat me like **** so I knew something was very wrong. And he knew something was very wrong too, he said he didn’t feel like himself and something was wrong and he was very stressed, but he said he didn’t want my help despite me saying I didn’t think it was a good idea to walk away at this time in his life. But alas, we broke up. Since then, he has met up with another girl, idk if anything happened between them but it really upset me and also he just hasn’t spoke to or messaged me at all which is odd, he’s always been the one to message me more and things. He also said that he would message me but then he didn’t and whenever I start convos he replies bluntly, and now he thinks we shouldn’t speak. I’m confused because I feel like i’m the one grafting him as if I did something wrong when he was the one that hurt me yet it’s me who is making all the effort, and secretly wants to get back together. I asked him if we could try things again when he sorts himself out and he said he doesn’t know and not to get my hopes up. it’s also weird because it’s been such a hard time for me (I was raped by a stranger and im currently going through the police process and he broke up with me 2 days after the police stuff all began which was a very stressful time). He promised he would be there for me but hasn’t. I’m so confused, why am I the one missing him more when I know i’m angry and hurt by him. I haven’t done anything wrong to him and yet I feel like he doesn’t miss me (or at least not as much as I miss him). It’s so frustrating bc he hasn’t been nice to him yet I want him back way more than he does. I’ve agreed to this no contact thing but I really don’t think it’s going to make him miss me at all, in fact I don’t think he’ll ever miss me or want to talk even after no contact is over and it really upsets me to think of him not in my life at all. He feels like family :frown: