Any other freshers that have no friends still? Watch

April-May
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Before I came I really didn't think I would find uni this hard.

Freshers was such a bad experience for me, I did essentially nothing but cry in my room despite my best efforts to make friends. I left my door open, I spent time in the communal spaces, chatted to my flatmates and hinted I would enjoy going out with them, but they already seemed to have prestablished friendship groups and since then we are on friendly terms, but its nothing more than that.

I joined 3 societies and have been making efforts to get out there, but Im finding it really hard to find someone I click with. My best friend is my boyfriend who I dont see that often and my other closest two friends from secondary school who are in different unis. They seem to be getting on okay, but I'm just not. My course mates are all very nice and I sit with them in lectures, but its more like friendly acquaintances then people who would want to spend time with me outside of uni.Not much in common really.

Whenever I want to do something on the weekend, I realize I will be doing it alone once again. It depresses me walking around campus and seeing everyone talking and mingling and sitting with groups having a good time.

I get Im kind of a shyer personality, but I can talk to people alright, and believe Im funny once you get to know me. I dont know how everyone else just seemed to slot right into uni life and I cant seem to get it right.

Im trying to get a job, I hope maybe that will help.
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Hugh's Swan
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It will take time, don’t give up. One day you will find you just click with someone in an unexpected situation. Keep going to societies, maybe try something new every so often. Just keep the faith!
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username3917068
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Sometimes the other people are putting on this illusory facade as well. You never know how lonely they are regardless of how they act.

Just keep an open mind and keep the expectations law. When you have low expectations, I feel like it makes the interaction more natural and relaxed, which in turn might allow it to manifest into something much more genuine. (In simple terms; talk to someone with the idea that you will never see each other again - >convo flows much more smoothly - >might decide to meet up again.)

Also try to embrace solitude and don’t be afraid to initiate plans as well.

Uni’s tough, hang in there!
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username3890778
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This will probably me in one years time.
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SilverWater
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Aww bless you :hugs:

Its very early days tbh and as someone posted earlier a lot of the people you see around campus with people etc are also still trying to find their feet too with social circles so I wouldn't worry too much

If you ever need to talk drop me a pm but I'm really positive you'll find someone you really click with eventually. Just keep on trying!
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username4299474
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Hey, you aren’t alone. I just attended a new school and I’m pretty bad at making friends. I tend to have at least three friends since I feel like it’s way better that way for me. I think you should be patient. Continue trying but not just for the sake of actually having friends. Do it because you might find a really good friend that may continue forever, who knows. Be with people who are genuine, people that might like something you like. Once they seem quite unpleasant of wanting to be friends with you, know that you mustn’t try to be friends with them. Don’t be depressed. Have faith and continue trying. I’m sure you’ll find a friend or friends soon. Remember that it’s better to have small amount of true friends who understand you, than a lot of friends who in the end won’t be there for you. Good luck
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username4003948
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(Original post by April-May)
Before I came I really didn't think I would find uni this hard.

Freshers was such a bad experience for me, I did essentially nothing but cry in my room despite my best efforts to make friends. I left my door open, I spent time in the communal spaces, chatted to my flatmates and hinted I would enjoy going out with them, but they already seemed to have prestablished friendship groups and since then we are on friendly terms, but its nothing more than that.

I joined 3 societies and have been making efforts to get out there, but Im finding it really hard to find someone I click with. My best friend is my boyfriend who I dont see that often and my other closest two friends from secondary school who are in different unis. They seem to be getting on okay, but I'm just not. My course mates are all very nice and I sit with them in lectures, but its more like friendly acquaintances then people who would want to spend time with me outside of uni.Not much in common really.

Whenever I want to do something on the weekend, I realize I will be doing it alone once again. It depresses me walking around campus and seeing everyone talking and mingling and sitting with groups having a good time.

I get Im kind of a shyer personality, but I can talk to people alright, and believe Im funny once you get to know me. I dont know how everyone else just seemed to slot right into uni life and I cant seem to get it right.

Im trying to get a job, I hope maybe that will help.
Try being a 28 year old man living in student halls at a university which is primarily an arts college (but does offer various real degrees too). Thankfully I'm moving to a house tomorrow, foundation computing course keeps me busy with a lot of work, I learnt years ago to appreciate my own company, I have a friend on my course, and being a drum and bass fan in London, I know there'll be an event at least once a fortnight where I can go to have fun and meet new people.
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McPiranha
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I completely get whet you're on about, I'm in the exact situation. Freshers week for me was an anxiety filled mess, while people were out enjoying the freshers events making friends and making the most out of their new found independence, I was stuck in my room not doing anything, my flatmates showed no interest in going out and while we are on friendly terms, as you said it's nothing more than that. I spent freshers doing nothing but watching videos, playing games, drinking in my room and going out for walks.

Only one society interests me and I went to one meeting, but unfortunately it isn't a society where you can meet people since all you do is show up and watch tv shows/films. I want to go out so badily but I don't have anyone to go out with, I made one friend but he doesn't live on campus, so the only time we see each other is 2 days a week. People say that university is the best time of your life, and I know that it's been over a month since university started, but at the moment I just don't see it. A day doesn't go by where I don't think about quitting university and working for the year until I can go to a university closer, but I know for sure in the long run that won't help me, I know that I have to push forward because something good might pop up, but it's really hard to.
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3121
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Yeah it took me awhile to settle in, I still haven’t though. I have friends that wanna go out, drink with me, etc. But I’ve made little to no friends on my course (because I changed 2 weeks ago) and I haven't got someone to just chill with, study with, which are the kind of friends I want more than anything. Not a huge fan of drinking and clubbing, I’d rather not dehydrate myself and recently the idea of making out with someone random has just been disgusting to me.

So I guess I do have friends but because it’s not the kind of friendships I want, I think I’m in a similar position to you. I find that now I feel really comfortable at uni, it feels like I belong there and I’ve settled in which makes it easier to talk to people so I should find a group soon I hope
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Babiieemem
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This is so relatable man, maybe we should all create a groupchat and get to know one another? Also, I’m not a massive drinker either so it’s slightly awkward when the topic “going out” comes up. Like the last time I went out was Freshers :/ I feel like I’m being kinda judged for it but luckily since my job runs till quite late in the night I can use that as an excuse for now. But yeah comment if you’re down for the groupchat thing xx
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April-May
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Thanks for all the replies guys. It good to hear Im not alone in this situation, even though it really feels like it on a daily basis.

I am going to keep trying my best. My mental health is suffering because of it, some days I dont even feel like getting out of bed, but the more I sulk the worse I feel.

Whats weird is I'd actually not given this scenario any thought beforehand. I had been on a gap year volunteering for months abroad, I went completely on my own sharing a room with 8 other girls I'd never met from around the world, and honestly I made so many good friends there. I felt like after doing that uni would be an absolute breeze. But I guess its a lot different.

I feel like Im wasting the 'best years of my life' already.
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April-May
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(Original post by Babiieemem)
This is so relatable man, maybe we should all create a groupchat and get to know one another? Also, I’m not a massive drinker either so it’s slightly awkward when the topic “going out” comes up. Like the last time I went out was Freshers :/ I feel like I’m being kinda judged for it but luckily since my job runs till quite late in the night I can use that as an excuse for now. But yeah comment if you’re down for the groupchat thing xx
I would be totally up for that tbh xx

Also Uni glorifies drinking culture too much tbh so dont feel bad about it, some people dont realise its not for everyone
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Rhythmical
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I can relate, the people I hung with for the first few weeks went weird on me and wouldn't want to go out with me. I haven't made friends per se but how many of us made friends at school easily? It's a process, there's still societies and people who will relate to you. Honestly some of the best people I've made so far have been random encounters where they've spoken to me first. You need to be confident and assertive. One girl I met who is in third year (we're the same age) made friends early this year and she said societies helped her and she hadn't had friends before then. Chin up.
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Ryanthom100
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If anyone goes to University of Leeds and has no friends HMU!! Me and my mates would welcome u to join and hang out with us!
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JSM1
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(Original post by April-May)
Thanks for all the replies guys. It good to hear Im not alone in this situation, even though it really feels like it on a daily basis.

I am going to keep trying my best. My mental health is suffering because of it, some days I dont even feel like getting out of bed, but the more I sulk the worse I feel.

Whats weird is I'd actually not given this scenario any thought beforehand. I had been on a gap year volunteering for months abroad, I went completely on my own sharing a room with 8 other girls I'd never met from around the world, and honestly I made so many good friends there. I felt like after doing that uni would be an absolute breeze. But I guess its a lot different.

I feel like Im wasting the 'best years of my life' already.
‘Best years of my life’ is complete rubbish. You will have a much better time when you’ve finished university. You have a lot more time to experience different things and talk to a range of different people around the world and not in just one location. The best thing for people in this thread to do is to enjoy your own company, do what makes you happy first and don’t go out with the intention to make friends. Eg Go gym, join societies, play sports, instruments. Gradually you will see that people will approach you and more so those that have similar interests. The longer the wait the more worth it, it will be and you will be happier in the long run. Clubbing and drinking looks sweet in the short term but in the long term your degree is what will count and why you are there in the first place.
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Babiieemem
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(Original post by April-May)
I would be totally up for that tbh xx
Also Uni glorifies drinking culture too much tbh so dont feel bad about it, some people dont realise its not for everyone
Okay well follow me on Instagram - April_lovexox and message me xx
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OGGUS
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Can't relate. But then again more then half my course knows me and I'm student rep so 🤷🏻*♂️

I guess you could try speaking to coursemates.
People are morr than likely to friend you as everyone likes to make friends at uni.
Especially since you don't have friends, some would be a little intrigued about you.
Anyways good luck
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April-May
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(Original post by Babiieemem)
Okay well follow me on Instagram - April_lovexox and message me xx

AH sorry I dont actually have instagram haha, I have snapchat though?
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Babiieemem
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(Original post by April-May)
AH sorry I dont actually have instagram haha, I have snapchat though?
Okay mine is naomimeow_xo
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McPiranha
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(Original post by McPiranha)
I completely get whet you're on about, I'm in the exact situation. Freshers week for me was an anxiety filled mess, while people were out enjoying the freshers events making friends and making the most out of their new found independence, I was stuck in my room not doing anything, my flatmates showed no interest in going out and while we are on friendly terms, as you said it's nothing more than that. I spent freshers doing nothing but watching videos, playing games, drinking in my room and going out for walks.

Only one society interests me and I went to one meeting, but unfortunately it isn't a society where you can meet people since all you do is show up and watch tv shows/films. I want to go out so badily but I don't have anyone to go out with, I made one friend but he doesn't live on campus, so the only time we see each other is 2 days a week. People say that university is the best time of your life, and I know that it's been over a month since university started, but at the moment I just don't see it. A day doesn't go by where I don't think about quitting university and working for the year until I can go to a university closer, but I know for sure in the long run that won't help me, I know that I have to push forward because something good might pop up, but it's really hard to.
Stress from being too far from home got to me; with a month worth of insomnia and again, not having made many friends at all eventually built up exploded and I had several panic attacks a few days ago, so I decided to withdraw from my course and work for a year until I can go back to a uni a lot closer to home next year. Not how I wanted it to pan out but if this happened only a month in, I don't want to imagine what would of happened if I stayed at uni. Glad I'll be moving back home tomorrow. It's a shame since I really enjoyed my course but mental health is a lot more important. Anyone experiencing something similar should know there's absolutely nothing wrong with withdrawing/deferring a year; I jumped into uni after doing 4 solid years of college and wasn't prepared for living on my own and uni life in general - I jumped the gun and thought I would be fine with being nearly 200 miles away from home not knowing where the hell I was and not having the comfort of being able to go home every now and again if things started to become too much, and although it definitely isn't the most ideal situation (and not the way I wanted to realise that all of it was too much), I'm sort of thankful I had those panic attack as it basically told me what I needed to do.
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