How to deal with a colleague like this? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#1
I've worked with her for almost a year and a half now, and she wasn't at all this bad in the first year. Me, her and another girl were kept on for another year and given a pay rise, but as outlined we were doing the same job as the first year. Three other new colleagues started this year; who were doing the same work as us, just with the starting salary. Anyway, this girl seems to have gotten the idea that she now superior to the three new girls, and has even tried to tell me what to do as well despite the fact that I have been there as long as she has. She is 5 years younger than me (she's 23) and this is her first job after her studies, and so I find it slightly irritating when she tries to give orders.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
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I pressed send before I'd finished. Anyway, she has told me on a couple of occasions "You can go and do that." It is not at all her who decides when we take our lunch, but the other day, she said to one of the newer girls "You can go for your lunch now." And then told me "You can go to help in the other room." I replied to her that I was fully aware of what I usually did, that I'd been doing it daily for the past year and a half. We work with vulnerable children, and she seems to believe herself better at handling the children than we are. For example, I might be feeding one child. She will have her own children to feed, but will start paying attention to mine; trying to tell him or her what to do and essentially as if I am incapable. I've told her on a couple of occasions "we're fine thanks." Or, for instance, a child has asked my permission to leave the room. I said, yes you can leave. Then a second later, she will say "yes, you can leave." as if we need her last word on the matter. In addition, she is a complete know-it-all. She calls herself a Psychologist (doesn't have a PHD in the field) and is somebody who likes to think she knows everything about everything. For instance, I have lived a couple of years in another country. One of our colleagues asked me a question about this country (a question aimed at me) and this girl, without giving me a chance to speak, just started answering the question. If someone asks me a question, she will answer it to them for me, as if I don't have a voice. We are supposed to clean the premises at the end of every day. Last year, she was doing it equally with everybody else. This year, we didn't have a timetable for the first month, so it was a case of everyone chipping in to do parts of it. For one month, she did virtually nothing, and let the new colleagues and myself do it all. I complained about this to management and they said she was just "busy" and that we shouldn't complain. The thing is, we were all busy yet found the time. And lo and behind, guess what happened when we received the timetable? Suddenly, she magically found the time to do it! The problem is that she is well-liked by the bosses and is a favourite, so nothing would ever be done. I do my best to ignore her, but still try to be firm with her and assertive as I refuse to be given orders or undermine/made to feel incapable. I feel uneasy doing my job as I can see her watching and I feel like I am being judged. I won't let someone 5 years younger with much less experience order me about, and because I'm the only one who answers her back, her and her friend have started to ignore me and be cold, wheras I'm within my rights. She was not at all this bad last year and because it's such a small team, it's very hard to avoid. Again, the management love her and will do absolutely nothing. Should I just look for another job? Thanks
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 10 months ago
#3
Hi , sounds rough , she seems really domineering so you're doing the right thing in not letting her order you around , as for your comment about wanting to look for another job , if you're happy other than working with this person then stay , I would write down all instances of bullying behaviour so that you have more evidence for management to complain about her
Hope this helps 😊
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xEmilyxx
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#4
Report 10 months ago
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I think you need to tell her straight up that she needs to basically stop being an arse. Then if she decides to suck up to management and you're given a talking to I would explain that you have witnessed her intimidating the new staff as well as you and you wanted to informally confront her about it before taking it up with someone more senior.
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