Mum wants a part of student loan Watch

Anonymous #1
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so basically I was living alone with my mom before i left for uni. Am getting the full student loan plus bursary from the uni so overall thats about 10k. My mom earns about 15k and has kept asking me to give her some part of my student loan.

I live away from home so I pay accommodation with about 4.5k of the loan. I have agreed to pay her back 400 pounds which she used to pay my uni accommodation deposit. Currently, I live very frugally spending just 40 pounds a week for everything. I want to save a lot as I want to get a place of my own after uni and don't want to go back home to my mom's place( we used to share a room). My mom has been saying I was very wicked which has been really bothering. Am starting to feel bad but on the other hand, I don't want to finish uni and go back home to share a single room with my mom because I have no money saved up.
What would you guys do in this situation.
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bones-mccoy
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I've never understood why some parents think they're entitled to their child's student loan - they're not the ones doing the hard work at university, they're not the ones having to fund a very expensive degree. That money is for your living expenses, your course materials, to support you whilst studying. No one else.

If your mum wants some of the money, fine, but she can help pay off the debt after you graduate.
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StriderHort
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What's stopping her taking out loans herself rather than running up debt in your name?

Be a v diff matter if you were living at home but when living away? hell no, unless there is some sort of legit financial emergency.
Last edited by StriderHort; 1 year ago
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StriderHort
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Well I suppose you could compromise?

You give her 25% of your loan, and she gives you 25% of her wages? sounds fair, you'll even come out ahead of the game here. I'd be genuinely curious if she had any objections :P
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DrawTheLine
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Be firm and tell her that your loan is for you, your living expenses, your resources for your degree. If she wants a loan, she can go to her bank and get one herself, or become a student herself and get one. Just because she's on a low income doesn't mean she's entitled any of your student loan. Stand up for yourself.
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Joinedup
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Where are you going to be living over university vacations? Sure she's not just after some rent for those times?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I've never understood why some parents think they're entitled to their child's student loan - they're not the ones doing the hard work at university, they're not the ones having to fund a very expensive degree. That money is for your living expenses, your course materials, to support you whilst studying. No one else.

If your mum wants some of the money, fine, but she can help pay off the debt after you graduate.

Yea she thinks she is entitled because she took care of me all my life. She basically keeps reminding me of that every single day.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
What's stopping her taking out loans herself rather than running up debt in your name?

Be a v diff matter if you were living at home but when living away? hell no, unless there is some sort of legit financial emergency.
She has such a bad credit score I don`t think she can get anymore loan. She loves living very lavishly, As an African, she basically buys a new outfit for every wedding or gathering she attends. I try to talk to her about that but in our culture is basically a taboo to try to advise your elders.
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Claire461
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yea she thinks she is entitled because she took care of me all my life. She basically keeps reminding me of that every single day.
Seriously? As a mother of 7, if I adopted that attitude, I would be living in the lap of luxury.
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yea she thinks she is entitled because she took care of me all my life. She basically keeps reminding me of that every single day.
Don't give in to this. You might say I will give you some money towards my keep when I am at home in the holidays and get a job in the long vac.
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rentalghini
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She can get a loan herself from the bank. I'd tell her that if I was in this situation.
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Claire461
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(Original post by Anonymous)
so basically I was living alone with my mom before i left for uni. Am getting the full student loan plus bursary from the uni so overall thats about 10k. My mom earns about 15k and has kept asking me to give her some part of my student loan.

I live away from home so I pay accommodation with about 4.5k of the loan. I have agreed to pay her back 400 pounds which she used to pay my uni accommodation deposit. Currently, I live very frugally spending just 40 pounds a week for everything. I want to save a lot as I want to get a place of my own after uni and don't want to go back home to my mom's place( we used to share a room). My mom has been saying I was very wicked which has been really bothering. Am starting to feel bad but on the other hand, I don't want to finish uni and go back home to share a single room with my mom because I have no money saved up.
What would you guys do in this situation.
She can’t have it - end of. You need that money to fund your day-to-day life, and so that you can have a future. She should be happy that you are planning your future. Frankly, she is toxic and you are better out of it.
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SoulfulTwist
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She' not entitiled to it. Sure, pay her back what she's paid for you, and then if you want to give her some extra that is up to you.
You could always pay her some when you've got a job, you don't need to, but mught want to considering how much she may have done for you when you were young. Or pay for things for her. Depends though
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MrMusician95
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100% no! will she pay this portion of the loan back in the future? I think not. Do what is best for you, and that is saving up.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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If you were living at home it would be different and I would say you should be contributing to the house, but as it stands, your loan is yours - in your name - to pay for costs associated with your course and accommodation. If you go home durning the holidays, you should contribute a little then, but otherwise no.

She can't ask you to supplement her "lavish lifestyle", it's not fair.
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Tiger Rag
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What does she want part of your loan for? If you lived at home, I could see where she's coming from. I could also understand it (and you've not said this is the case) if she was struggling a bit for money, such as needing to pay her rent and you could afford to help her this month.
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BlueIndigoViolet
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If my mum was genuinely struggling, and I could afford to spare the money, I would definitely try and help her out with my loan - i know it often seems pushy, but if i could do anything to help her, by limiting my expenses as much as I could ,I would , but maybe thats a personal choice we all have to make....

if she has money, but is spending it on clothes/stuff not needed, and wasting it, i wouldnt....
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SomeWelshGuy123
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My mum likes on less than 7k a year, I offered to help her by giving her some money and she refused. Your mum sounds like an evil, **** parent, cut her off ASAP.
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Retired_Messiah
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The government's assumption when giving you the loan is that parents will contribute to you, even when you're on maximum loan. Your loan is not for her, and as you're not living at home (and thus technically already saving her some money), she's not got much grounds to claim it.

If you want to give her the money that's understandable, as she's your mum and she's skint. However I wouldn't say you're at all bad for not doing it.
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Johnathan94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yea she thinks she is entitled because she took care of me all my life. She basically keeps reminding me of that every single day.
Your mother sounds absolutely insufferable.
You absolutely shouldn't give her a penny of your student loan because if you do, it sounds like you're going to be subsidising her for the rest of her life.

You'll know your relationship with her better than anyone but from the impression you're giving here, I'd be putting some serious thought into whether I even wanted my mother in my life any longer.
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