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My mum is neglectful and cold, so is my dad and it's really starting to get to me.

Sounds pretty childish but my parents are quite neglectful and cold, when I was younger it didn't really effect me becuase I though that's just how all parents were but as I grew older saw my friends with their parents it really kind of changed me (ignorance is bliss) I do well at school but they don't acknowledge it, i try to joke around with them but they just don't get it. Whenever I need comfort they tell me "arnt you a little too childish for that" I realised from my previous memories that whenever I hugged my mother she didn't hug back and it would remain an strange onsided hug. Whenever there's an awards evening my parents hardly come saying they are busy even though they are not. It kind of makes me feel left out seeing other children being hugged and congratulated for their achievements and I'm kind of just standing their on my own holding my certificates. Again it sounds childish and I'm pretty sure most of you are going to be saying "grow up" but it still hurts somtimes. My mum only cares about how she looks and decorating the house and buying expensive dresses and my dad only cares about his money and work. The question is how do I deal with this? I'm scared that if I can't form a bond with my parents how am I going to form one with others? What if I decide to be a parent when I get older?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Sounds pretty childish but my parents are quite neglectful and cold, when I was younger it didn't really effect me becuase I though that's just how all parents were but as I grew older saw my friends with their parents it really kind of changed me (ignorance is bliss) I do well at school but they don't acknowledge it, i try to joke around with them but they just don't get it. Whenever I need comfort they tell me "arnt you a little too childish for that" I realised from my previous memories that whenever I hugged my mother she didn't hug back and it would remain an strange onsided hug. Whenever there's an awards evening my parents hardly come saying they are busy even though they are not. It kind of makes me feel left out seeing other children being hugged and congratulated for their achievements and I'm kind of just standing their on my own holding my certificates. Again it sounds childish and I'm pretty sure most of you are going to be saying "grow up" but it still hurts somtimes. My mum only cares about how she looks and decorating the house and buying expensive dresses and my dad only cares about his money and work. The question is how do I deal with this? I'm scared that if I can't form a bond with my parents how am I going to form one with others? What if I decide to be a parent when I get older?


Wow, I'm very sorry to hear this. I'd seriously suggest going to your nearest CAMHS centre in confidence (if you're below 18, that is). If you cannot travel, try calling ChildLine on 0800 1111 on any phone when you're in a safe space (it's free). Unfortunately, it's very unlikely that the people on here would be able to do much rather than sympathise with you. You need to receive proper advice in a professional capacity as I would hate for this to continue to develop and contribute to any potential mental health problems in the future.

Seriously, best of luck. I hope this gets better.
Reply 2
Original post by zxvs
Wow, I'm very sorry to hear this. I'd seriously suggest going to your nearest CAMHS centre in confidence (if you're below 18, that is). If you cannot travel, try calling ChildLine on 0800 1111 on any phone when you're in a safe space (it's free). Unfortunately, it's very unlikely that the people on here would be able to do much rather than sympathise with you. You need to receive proper advice in a professional capacity as I would hate for this to continue to develop and contribute to any potential mental health problems in the future.

Seriously, best of luck. I hope this gets better.

Is it really that bad? I've already given up on trying to gain their attention and just want to avoid becoming like them.
A lot better than my childhood.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Is it really that bad? I've already given up on trying to gain their attention and just want to avoid becoming like them.


I really can't say - I'm not a mental health/family relationships expert by any means. However, judging by what you've said, it sounds like you have a very distant relationship with your parents. As far as I know, this can have serious implications on your future relationships and could contribute to mental health problems in the future.

To avoid 'becoming like them', you must first address the issue which lies in the fact that you seem to have a poor relationship with them in the first place. It's never too late to talk to someone about it in a professional capacity and try to remedy this.

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