The Student Room Group

Hm, depression/selfharm/camhs on nhs!


Okay, hey! :smile:
I'm bored, and in one of my typical bad moods, so I finally decided I'll actually ask/rant to tsr. :biggrin:
Um, I'll give you a little back ground information about me first, before I go into some, possibly lengthy description of my life and woes.
I'm 15, I have an older sister who doesn't live with me. I've got a 2 year history of self harm. &have a cahms appointment sometime in the next 2 weeks. :cool:

For those who don't know what camhs is - it's a service from the nhs for Child and Adolescent Mental Health.
So yes, I'm not well, and seeking treatment - doesn't mean everythings going to be all good for me in a few weeks though!

I don't know what I'm expecting to come of this thread btw. :redface:


So yeah, since I was little my mum and dad have always been heavy smokers/drinkers. Resulting in lots of arguements/storming out. When my dad tries to get at my mum though, he would take it out on me and my sister. Um, Sarah*. Never violently, but he would hit things near us, kick the bed we were on etcetc. So my sister eventually left for Uni, leaving me to carry on feeling like the worthless daughter who is in no way worth being compared to her, she's now on a high wage looking after a very nice wine bar. She got bad grades, but still sucessful. I've been getting, quite shabby grades recently (B's mainly) so I've lost all form of gaining some form of respect/likeness or whatever you want to call it from my parents. A couple of weeks ago my dad kindly expressed (whilst drunk of course) how he cannot wait for me to leave, and he's refusing me to let me see my boyfriend/pick him up from university.
KickIng up a whole big drama. And a nice big batch of lack of worth.
So! First question: Has anyone ever 'left' at 16, supported themselves through college and whatnot, practically alone?
If so, share your experiances, or ask me to pm you if you would like to throw some advice/experiance at me. :smile:

I've been bullied at school since I was the grand age of 5. So ten years of bullying has been quite negative on my esteem & confidence, and once again, leaving me feeling worthless and hopeless. :redface:

Thought I'd add that in too.

Hm, yeah. So after seeing various different people, school nurses/connexions advisors/HYPE service. I finally spoke to my aunty (whom I can trust with little bits of my feelings. and told her how I think I need a serious-long term counsellor, because connexions/school nurse don't really help, much, at all. :| and HYPE was a 6 weeks -10 extended thing. Not good enough, though did help a little.) She told my mother, I got my referal opened again at camhs, and now have an intial appointment/interveiw thingy. :s-smilie:

Second question!: Can anyone tell me they're experiances, or what you think that'll be like? :confused:

And my mum doesn't know about my current self harming state/suicidal feelings/hallucinations/loss of friends.

Knows very little basically - and don't really want to go withher for the first appointment, but I know if I don't, I won't get the person I need to see.
Oh! Which has to be female, because I've met alot of perverted family members, and old boyfriends have treated me like ****. One which yes (stupid of me) ended me with scars on my arms. :rolleyes:


There's my rants, and few questions.
Sorry for the long post!
I'm just at the end of my tether. :bawling:

Reply 1
It's depression awareness week, where are you lot! :frown:


:redface:
Reply 2
If you want to PM me then I'd be happy to share with you my experiences of CAMHS.
Reply 3
Thanks lemily - I understand the whole, coming home, having to do my own shopping, work, college and stuff. But I just don't think I can cope here anymore.

I have to really think it over. I've read everywhere that if you run away at 16, then you do not have to return home if you don't want to, if the police find you. hmm *shrug*

I'm considering, closer to my 16th birthday, to check out in my towns housing department/connexions, ask them certain things about how my situation could end up, and what support i'd get.

I can understand I'd lead a very draining life, but I come home from school terrified every day that i'm going to be in trouble for one thing or another, and all I do every day is sit on here, and be quite, because making any loud noise can get me in trouble. It's just, not right living here. :/


Thanks for your imput lemily. I hope everythings turned out better for you. :smile:
CAMHS, where fine with me, if u need a chat
Reply 5
Thanks - it's also great to know I'm definatly not the only one who's been/going. :smile:
Reply 6
Your situation sounds very similar to mines. I self harm/ed, which made me feel better, it wasn't a way to get back at anybody (i'm not saying thats what you do, but my mum's friend's daughter does it for that reason). My scars are also really bad.
I was referred to one of those Mental Health Advisor places, and we got the letter through, but because I was 14 at the time, my mum had to phone; and she didn't approve, so she didn't phone.
I was also bullied at school, this was mainly because I was on elbow crutches for 2 years. A boy actually kicked the crutches away from me at one point.
I also thought about doing the whole leaving home thing, at one point, I had actual plans set in stone, and then, tbh, I realised that I couldn't do it on my own. With me, school has always been my thing, it was really the only thing I had for a long time, and if it meant putting that jeopardy, for me, the answer was no.
I'm not trying to put you off, I just think that you should seriously consider these factors, because they play the biggest part of your future!

Unlike you, I could never trust a family member, instead I found someone to talk to that I had previously hated. Now, I honestly don't think I would be here if it wasn't for her.

If you ever want to talk about something/anything, you can pm me :smile:
Reply 7
Thanks everyone. :smile:

Right now my parents are being nice, and school hasn't been too horrible either. So I'm thinking maybeeee I could stick it out, but that'll change. *sigh*

Thanks for the offers and stuff, nice to know someone cares. :biggrin: :redface:
Heey I have had a history of depression/ self harm except I haven't had it anywhere near as bad as you... poor you :frown: glad to hear it's getting better and I can't be much help with knowing what it's like leaving home, or the whole councelling thing, but if you message me I'm always on msn and always up for a chat and always lonely soo lol if you wanna talk anytime then just message me :biggrin: x
Hey I have a history of self harm and depression and i have been going to camhs for a few months and they are gret truly dont be worried you will be fine x =)
I can answer your second question.

Good luck with your CAMHS assessment thingy, it'll be fine. I think parents come to quite a lot of first appointments but if you don't want them to come then that would probably be OK. They'll ask you lots of questions, some about your self harm like how often/how long have you been doing it etc, some about your life more generally like your relationships with your parents, friends and so on. They'll probably get you to fill in some questionnaire type things which might ask you to do things like rate your mood between 1 and 5. Then they'll probably sort out how they're going to treat you.

Good luck! PM me any time you want to talk. :smile: