I’m a transsexual: AMA
Essentially, as the title says: ask me anything!
I see a lot of people on TSR who seem to be confused or have simply been exposed to bad examples of gender non-conformity rather than transsexualism. So I would like to try and clear up any misconceptions and so on.
I mean it though! Ask me anything: from personal questions, to things you’re told you shouldn’t ask trans people or even statements to start up a friendly debate.
I am really receptive to free speech so I’m fully open to hearing individual opinions or explanations as to why you might find transsexualism a wrong, odd or confusing concept.
Hopefully this can be a bit of fun!
I see a lot of people on TSR who seem to be confused or have simply been exposed to bad examples of gender non-conformity rather than transsexualism. So I would like to try and clear up any misconceptions and so on.
I mean it though! Ask me anything: from personal questions, to things you’re told you shouldn’t ask trans people or even statements to start up a friendly debate.
I am really receptive to free speech so I’m fully open to hearing individual opinions or explanations as to why you might find transsexualism a wrong, odd or confusing concept.
Hopefully this can be a bit of fun!
Scroll to see replies
When did you find out that you were trans?
Do you prefer the colours on the pride flag or the trans flag? 
Original post by Newdongcity
When did you find out that you were trans?
Actually figuring out the issue and what was affecting me didn’t come until I was twelve and coming out didn’t happen until I was thirteen, but I always remember having difficulties.
Gender was a concept that confused me, because I was being told I was one thing (mostly in school) when I constantly felt more comfortable and attached to being male.
It might have had more of an effect on me had I been forced into female roles, but I was very fortunate to have parents who let me wear whatever I wanted, didn’t force dresses on me, bought me the toys I liked (not what they thought I should want), made me the costumes to be Han Solo, Indiana Jones, Lord Farquaad (don’t ask) and Darth Vader, and were content in me just developing into myself.
Like I suggested previously, school was the source of most of my insecurities because it was where gender was regarded and used as a separation. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety early in childhood and, as puberty came in, when my insecurities, paranoia and self-hatred directed themselves towards my feminine developments (not because they were not equal to other girls, but because I did not connect with the changes) it started to hit me that there was a huge incongruence between my brain’s perception of myself and what my body was supposed to be doing.
the difference between transgender and transexual pls?
Original post by CoolCavy
Do you prefer the colours on the pride flag or the trans flag?
I admit, I don’t tend to associate with the flags but I probably prefer the trans flag! I find the rainbow a bit overwhelming—too much colour for a closeted emo!
Original post by dandiprat
I admit, I don’t tend to associate with the flags but I probably prefer the trans flag! I find the rainbow a bit overwhelming—too much colour for a closeted emo!
That's fair
tbh I actually think the trans flag is a lot cuter than the rainbow one, maybe it's the pastels idk 
Original post by TallyPurk
How did you make the decision to become trans? Did you have to really debate with yourself or did you just know?
Genuinely, it was an odd process because it’s reliant on a series of symptoms, a gut feeling and then analysis of how social transition benefits or effects your sense of self. In a way, I just knew and I always regarded myself as one of the boys as a child. However, my parents and I really had no knowledge towards transsexualism which is why I also know I had to go through a process of debate.
It really was a bit of an adventure
The plus side is that dysphoria is a medical condition and so there are symptoms that do help determine transsexuality being present. Obviously, that is why it is so helpful having medical professionals who are knowledgeable and can determine the difference between dysphoria, dysmorphia and general psychological self-hatred. In my case, my depression and anxiety became unbearable because of my relationship with female puberty: I was devastated having widening hips and curves, I was elated having a flat chest despite being bullied over it, I was relieved if someone mistook me for a boy (since I was pretty androgynous), I was upset about only being 5’8”, and so on.
It was the discussion of these responses to a natural process that helped the psychologists and sexual therapists diagnose myself with dysphoria. They would expect a young female to be upset over having a flat chest and being mistaken as a boy, and to be comfortable developing good curves and a good female height.
I made the choice to live as a male, without hormonal intervention, for three years before I was legally able to make those next steps, and with all of the information and understanding my doctors had there was enough to suggest HRT was the correct route.
I understood the risks, I signed the documents and, even with my down days taken into account, I’ve never been happier.
Original post by Obolinda
the difference between transgender and transexual pls?
For most people, being transgender is just the identification for an individual who identifies with a gender that is different to their assigned sex.
Transsexualism is a word reserved for the medical community mostly, used as the technical term for an individual diagnosed with dysphoria and likely undergoing medical intervention.
Some trans people choose to use transsexuality to describe themselves, often because they feel the transgender community has been diluted to also include individuals who are not transsexual and are simply gender non-conforming (aka: they **** with gender stereotypes). It also might confirm their belief in medical diagnosis and symptoms of dysphoria being necessary for an individual to be transsexual.
Original post by dandiprat
Genuinely, it was an odd process because it’s reliant on a series of symptoms, a gut feeling and then analysis of how social transition benefits or effects your sense of self. In a way, I just knew and I always regarded myself as one of the boys as a child. However, my parents and I really had no knowledge towards transsexualism which is why I also know I had to go through a process of debate.
It really was a bit of an adventure
The plus side is that dysphoria is a medical condition and so there are symptoms that do help determine transsexuality being present. Obviously, that is why it is so helpful having medical professionals who are knowledgeable and can determine the difference between dysphoria, dysmorphia and general psychological self-hatred. In my case, my depression and anxiety became unbearable because of my relationship with female puberty: I was devastated having widening hips and curves, I was elated having a flat chest despite being bullied over it, I was relieved if someone mistook me for a boy (since I was pretty androgynous), I was upset about only being 5’8”, and so on.
It was the discussion of these responses to a natural process that helped the psychologists and sexual therapists diagnose myself with dysphoria. They would expect a young female to be upset over having a flat chest and being mistaken as a boy, and to be comfortable developing good curves and a good female height.
I made the choice to live as a male, without hormonal intervention, for three years before I was legally able to make those next steps, and with all of the information and understanding my doctors had there was enough to suggest HRT was the correct route.
I understood the risks, I signed the documents and, even with my down days taken into account, I’ve never been happier.
It really was a bit of an adventure
The plus side is that dysphoria is a medical condition and so there are symptoms that do help determine transsexuality being present. Obviously, that is why it is so helpful having medical professionals who are knowledgeable and can determine the difference between dysphoria, dysmorphia and general psychological self-hatred. In my case, my depression and anxiety became unbearable because of my relationship with female puberty: I was devastated having widening hips and curves, I was elated having a flat chest despite being bullied over it, I was relieved if someone mistook me for a boy (since I was pretty androgynous), I was upset about only being 5’8”, and so on.
It was the discussion of these responses to a natural process that helped the psychologists and sexual therapists diagnose myself with dysphoria. They would expect a young female to be upset over having a flat chest and being mistaken as a boy, and to be comfortable developing good curves and a good female height.
I made the choice to live as a male, without hormonal intervention, for three years before I was legally able to make those next steps, and with all of the information and understanding my doctors had there was enough to suggest HRT was the correct route.
I understood the risks, I signed the documents and, even with my down days taken into account, I’ve never been happier.
This really made me smile, so happy you can be the person you want to be! Xx
On questionnaires and surveys, do you prefer an option to select trans man in addition to the traditional man and woman options.
Original post by Afforestation
Because that seems to be the most important current affair, of course. Kids are still not getting enough to eat in this country and the main concern is the colours on a flag representing sexuality. High chance this reply will get removed. Obviously gay pride is good but it actually hurts me to see it prioritised over the things that change our world.
I hope this isn’t removed because, in a way, I do agree. There are a lot of issues in this country, many that should preside more than they do.
We are lucky to live in the UK, a place where homosexuality and the LGBT community is accepted more and more with each generation. Transsexualism is finally gaining traction but we do still encounter a lot more rejection in our society, which is why I was prompted to do a little AMA.
It is worth noting, however, that pride flags are still of great importance in other parts of the world. They are growing to be internationally recognised symbols for communities that simply experience sexual and gender orientations that differ from the norm. This connection is important for people who are unfortunately stuck in countries where they are still fighting for legalisation of the LGBT community and for protection rights, where they can be killed for being gay or imprisoned if they are luckier.
All taken into account, you’ve a very valid point but we shouldn’t have to blast down a fun question in order to add it to the discussion 😊
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by londonmyst
On questionnaires and surveys, do you prefer an option to select trans man in addition to the traditional man and woman options.
Depending on the context, yes and no. If it was a medical survey, of course! It is important for sex to be considered, not only gender, when answering health questions since your responses will obviously differ from a regular cisgender individual. I don’t see the need to declare being a trans man for (as an example) a housing survey, however, since my response really is not going to be affected by myself being a trans individual.
I suppose the choice should always be there? But I genuinely don’t see many trans people selecting it unless it makes sense.
Original post by Oneiropólos
Don’t you think that mentally you’re not normal since you thought or think you’re actually the opposite gender when you’re actually not?
Don’t mean any hate just curious as to what you’d answer with.
Don’t mean any hate just curious as to what you’d answer with.
Absolutely! And no offence taken. I genuinely understand that some abnormality has occurred to have created such an extreme confusion between my physical development and mind. It isn’t normal at all and, genuinely, a source to these issues being discovered could prevent a lot of distress for a lot of people.
As a lot of medical research is suggesting, it is likely going to have been an issue during development in the womb. A lot of trans people experience brain development that differs to what is normal for their sex and a lot of it is being theorised as a reaction to being exposed to the incorrect hormones during fetal development. It does make sense! A lot of identical twins will both be trans, autism is very common in trans men (autism being linked to testosterone exposure in the womb), trans men having male pattern brains and vice versa for trans women, even before HRT, and so on.
Original post by s666
Why do you choose to identify as transsexual rather than transgender??
Mostly because I find the term transgender too inclusive in the modern day. It sounds ridiculous, but it often covers identities that I don't read as applicable or connected to my own condition--things more relevant to gender non-conformity rather than dysphoria or medical abnormalities.
Transsexuality really feels more focussed and offers more attention to the medical sect of being transgender, generally making it more applicable and comfortable to your straightforward FtM and MtF. Also as the proper medical term for someone diagnosed with dysphoria, it seems suitable as I am undergoing medical intervention.
Original post by qwertyK
What encouraged you to change your gender.
The combination of medical factors, diagnosis and life experience.
When you grow up naturally associating yourself with the boys, being confused by what you are supposed to be and realising at puberty that the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of developing into female are creating disassociation and anxiety for yourself, it really drives you to consider what is going on. Sexual therapists are able to differentiate between dysphoria and dysmorphia: when they were presented with a young female who was devastated for having developed great curves, but loved being mistaken as a boy and celebrated having a flat chest, it unfortunately began to add up.
I never saw myself as a grown woman, and my entire future felt empty and hollow when I attempted to imagine that. I had no aspirations or hope, I was never happy or comfortable. I attempted multiple courses for young girls to help them with self-love but it usually made me feel worse. When dysphoria and transsexualism was explained at the table, however, it made a lot of sense. I felt enlightened and could clearly picture myself as a male and in my male world.
After a diagnosis of dysphoria, I admit that a lot of it came down to gut feeling. I made movements to socially transition and living 24/7 as male really made my life drastically easier. I was very androgynous, I got away with it 90% of the time and, for the moments I didn't, the misery that would come from being clocked as female only reinforced the diagnosis.
Signing the papers to show you understand the risks of HRT is scary, but when I reflected on everything I had the confidence and assurance to do it. I have never been happier since but I would never wish the experience of being transsexual upon anyone else. It really devastated my childhood and teenage years for myself. I just wish I could live it over again with the knowledge I have now.
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