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boyfriend and anxiety

I have always struggled with my mental health but never been able to put my finger on what is actually wrong, until recently I have discovered that I have anxiety. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him very much. He is incredibly supportive of my anxiety and breakdowns, despite how difficult I can be and the extent i can go to. I feel awful guilt from putting him though this and I never know what to do for the best- I want what is best for him. Any advice on anxiety and relationships? x
Hi! I'm very much in your position, I've been dating my boyfriend for a few years and for the first year or two I suffered from bad anxiety that prevented me from fully allowing myself to trust him no matter how much I liked him. Although it is a lot better now, anxiety still comes and goes and often I feel a bit like a burden on the relationship, as it seems like I'm always the one with difficulties.
That's great that your boyfriend is helpful, but if you feel that your guilt is causing a bit of a strain on your relationship I think it would be best to talk it out when you're feeling ok/not very anxious.
My boyfriend has been very understanding of my anxiety and what it does to me, I honestly think understanding is key to managing a relationship with anxiety, as well as being open about how you're feeling. Xx
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Gayheuu
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That’s really helpful thank you!!! It’s good to know people can relate :smile: I think guilt is definitely a major feeling that takes over because I get upset, and he takes care of me, then I feel pure guilt of having to put him through that, and then it just goes round in constant cycles! Do you tell him certain ways on how to act when you feel low or have an anxiety attack? What kind of things would you tell him? I can also relate about feeling I can’t trust him despite how loyal he is to me- it drives me crazy! Xx
Original post by emmyjanejacko
That’s really helpful thank you!!! It’s good to know people can relate :smile: I think guilt is definitely a major feeling that takes over because I get upset, and he takes care of me, then I feel pure guilt of having to put him through that, and then it just goes round in constant cycles! Do you tell him certain ways on how to act when you feel low or have an anxiety attack? What kind of things would you tell him? I can also relate about feeling I can’t trust him despite how loyal he is to me- it drives me crazy! Xx

If I'm feeling anxious or low I make sure to let him know just so he understands what's going on. I guess it depends on the kind of situation I'm in, as sometimes I want a bit of space and some alone time but other times I just want him to comfort me. I usually tell him to be quite calm and gentle with me though and that helps.
It is a bit of a tricky situation but I've managed to deal with it better recently thankfully because my anxiety has been reappearing less and less, so I've been able to forget those doubts. Being in this relationship for quite some time also helps my mindset as I find it reassuring that he would stay with me no matter how bad my thoughts get.
Minimise the effects... for example don't let yourself take out a low mood on your partner. Make sure he knows what the best thing to do is. Communicate openly. Make sure you also have lots of good times with no anxiety. And make sure you're always there for him when he needs it so it's not one sided.

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