Is the university lifestyle overrated?

Watch
AndoJ99
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Basically I’m 19, I’m in my first year of university, and well... so far it’s just been a bit ‘meh’ I’ve made friends with everyone on my halls and I do hang out with them every day, but I can’t really relate to them, I think we’re all like that, hanging around because we don’t want to be lonely but we also wouldn’t hang around with each other if we were outside of university. Freshers was alright, I went out every day and clubbing was fun but it’s just hard to describe, I feel university is overrated; or it at least hugely depends on how lucky you get with your hallmates and where you go, York for example just seems so dead, I can’t really relate to anyone but I don’t want to come out after 3 years and not have made the best memories or friends, it’s just such a weird position.

I personally think it’s due to the fact that this ‘university life’ was an actual thing 5-10+ years ago when people weren’t just contempt with sitting inside on their PlayStations or laptops or phones, people HAD to be social, hence why I bet so many of our older siblings or parents thought of it as the greatest times of their lives, because they were always out... they wanted to be too.

I also think that due to the cost of university now that more of the less academic students (and typically the more social people) are moving onto apprenticeships and jobs instead of university.

This is kinda lame and I don’t want it to suck, I want to have the best time but I’m doubtful now, I’d like to think itll change but I doubt it, I think it’s mostly due to luck, who you get as hallmates, who you meet in socials / seminars and honestly if you’re a good looking ******* or extremely funny you’ll just gel into any social situation. Oh well, at least I can focus on studies now... thoughts?
1
reply
claireestelle
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by AndoJ99)
Basically I’m 19, I’m in my first year of university, and well... so far it’s just been a bit ‘meh’ I’ve made friends with everyone on my halls and I do hang out with them every day, but I can’t really relate to them, I think we’re all like that, hanging around because we don’t want to be lonely but we also wouldn’t hang around with each other if we were outside of university. Freshers was alright, I went out every day and clubbing was fun but it’s just hard to describe, I feel university is overrated; or it at least hugely depends on how lucky you get with your hallmates and where you go, York for example just seems so dead, I can’t really relate to anyone but I don’t want to come out after 3 years and not have made the best memories or friends, it’s just such a weird position.

I personally think it’s due to the fact that this ‘university life’ was an actual thing 5-10+ years ago when people weren’t just contempt with sitting inside on their PlayStations or laptops or phones, people HAD to be social, hence why I bet so many of our older siblings or parents thought of it as the greatest times of their lives, because they were always out... they wanted to be too.

I also think that due to the cost of university now that more of the less academic students (and typically the more social people) are moving onto apprenticeships and jobs instead of university.

This is kinda lame and I don’t want it to suck, I want to have the best time but I’m doubtful now, I’d like to think itll change but I doubt it, I think it’s mostly due to luck, who you get as hallmates, who you meet in socials / seminars and honestly if you’re a good looking ******* or extremely funny you’ll just gel into any social situation. Oh well, at least I can focus on studies now... thoughts?
are there any societies that take your interest? it might help to meet people who have a definite shared interest with you.
0
reply
Hundeschule
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
GIve it some time. Once you find friends you really connect with you will feel much better. In the meantime why not focusing on your studies. You have the great chance to build yourself a future in a profession you chose. You are setting up the groundwork for years to come. Isn’t it worth it to focus on this for a while.? Why setting the expectations on student life so high. Live in the moment , take the opportunities when they come...then you set yourself up for happiness.
1
reply
sr90
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by AndoJ99)
Basically I’m 19, I’m in my first year of university, and well... so far it’s just been a bit ‘meh’ I’ve made friends with everyone on my halls and I do hang out with them every day, but I can’t really relate to them, I think we’re all like that, hanging around because we don’t want to be lonely but we also wouldn’t hang around with each other if we were outside of university.
You have the same problem I had, it's normal. You wouldn't expect to be close with someone in 6 weeks anywhere else, so why uni?

There was people in my group of friends who I had nothing in common with and who I only spoke to when we were on a night out. Others I lived with but I knew full well i'd never speak to them again once uni finished. Doesn't mean we couldn't enjoy our time together. That situation is inevitable, it's the same anywhere else it's just more apparent at university. I got bored with the whole "get drunk and go out" thing pretty early but still had a lot of good memories with them. I'll probably never speak to 80% of them again but the memories last forever, and there's still the 20% who I do still talk to and see on occasion. Even if you come out of university with 1 close friend you've done well.

Halls isn't your only avenue to make friends either. Everyone I knew who got involved with a society made loads of friends. If you're doing a course with a lot of contact hours, you'll bond with people there. I was a bit unique because I worked with a lot of people my age range (16-24) and made lots of friends there, including "locals" from the city who weren't students.

It gets better and I guarantee when it comes to pack up your halls room next June you won't want to leave.
1
reply
username4316350
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
i had a good time say 6/10 overall. but id agree with ppl who say it is what u make of it. i dont think i was ever gonna have the time of my life. but it def could have been better if i put abit more effort into it
0
reply
SteamboatMickey
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by AndoJ99)
Basically I’m 19, I’m in my first year of university, and well... so far it’s just been a bit ‘meh’ I’ve made friends with everyone on my halls and I do hang out with them every day, but I can’t really relate to them, I think we’re all like that, hanging around because we don’t want to be lonely but we also wouldn’t hang around with each other if we were outside of university. Freshers was alright, I went out every day and clubbing was fun but it’s just hard to describe, I feel university is overrated; or it at least hugely depends on how lucky you get with your hallmates and where you go, York for example just seems so dead, I can’t really relate to anyone but I don’t want to come out after 3 years and not have made the best memories or friends, it’s just such a weird position.

I personally think it’s due to the fact that this ‘university life’ was an actual thing 5-10+ years ago when people weren’t just contempt with sitting inside on their PlayStations or laptops or phones, people HAD to be social, hence why I bet so many of our older siblings or parents thought of it as the greatest times of their lives, because they were always out... they wanted to be too.

I also think that due to the cost of university now that more of the less academic students (and typically the more social people) are moving onto apprenticeships and jobs instead of university.

This is kinda lame and I don’t want it to suck, I want to have the best time but I’m doubtful now, I’d like to think itll change but I doubt it, I think it’s mostly due to luck, who you get as hallmates, who you meet in socials / seminars and honestly if you’re a good looking ******* or extremely funny you’ll just gel into any social situation. Oh well, at least I can focus on studies now... thoughts?
I think University is a really funny thing. My best friend, who has been by my side since we were both about 7 years old, is really struggling. I really struggled in my first year, too. I don't think it's at all what it's made out to be. I mean, everyone kind-of implies you're be enamoured with whomever you are to share your halls with, and this is not always the case. I think it's a crippingly lonely experience, especially in first year, and it's advertised as anything but. For instance, in our kitchen, they've put a menangitis poster up. The headline is "Just met your friends for life?" and this isn't always the case. My best friend, for instance, hasn't really geled with those who she's sharing halls with. I didn't at all either, and it wasn't until second term I started to feel comfortable. Even then, I had major issues up until my first term of second year, so like... right now.

I do think it's overrated. I have no regrets about University - I worked hard to get here, and I am having an amazing time, but I've had to work hard to get to this point of being increasingly happier with my position. It wasn't just handed to me with my roomkeys and University Card. It's been a long and difficult process.

I think people really misconstrue the idea of University. It can be a struggle.
2
reply
AndoJ99
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#7
Update for anyone that cares:

It's mad this was 2 years ago during first year. Well, all I can say now is Uni is amazing and i'm going to miss it when it's gone. I know corona has impacted it greatly, but the parties, getting to know everyone, met my girlfriend, it all just fell into place and I'm going to miss it so much.

I guess most peoples first year kinda seems suckish, when you get used to it, you'll realise how good it is.
1
reply
AndoJ99
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#8
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by sr90)
You have the same problem I had, it's normal. You wouldn't expect to be close with someone in 6 weeks anywhere else, so why uni?

There was people in my group of friends who I had nothing in common with and who I only spoke to when we were on a night out. Others I lived with but I knew full well i'd never speak to them again once uni finished. Doesn't mean we couldn't enjoy our time together. That situation is inevitable, it's the same anywhere else it's just more apparent at university. I got bored with the whole "get drunk and go out" thing pretty early but still had a lot of good memories with them. I'll probably never speak to 80% of them again but the memories last forever, and there's still the 20% who I do still talk to and see on occasion. Even if you come out of university with 1 close friend you've done well.

Halls isn't your only avenue to make friends either. Everyone I knew who got involved with a society made loads of friends. If you're doing a course with a lot of contact hours, you'll bond with people there. I was a bit unique because I worked with a lot of people my age range (16-24) and made lots of friends there, including "locals" from the city who weren't students.

It gets better and I guarantee when it comes to pack up your halls room next June you won't want to leave.
You were right.
3
reply
sr90
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by AndoJ99)
You were right.
Glad to hear you had a good time in the end! A lot of people fall in to the trap of thinking that their first year should be the peak of their time at uni, I know I did. In reality it's once you have met your friends that things really start to pick up.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Which of these would you use to help with making uni decisions?

Webinars (79)
11.99%
Virtual campus tours/open days (160)
24.28%
Live streaming events (52)
7.89%
Online AMAs/guest lectures (59)
8.95%
A uni comparison tool (153)
23.22%
An in-person event when available (156)
23.67%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed