Turn on thread page Beta

I was forced to apply for Med School. Starting uni late now. Depressed watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

    I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
    • Section Leader
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

    I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
    Sorry to hear of your troubles. Are you still planning on doing Medicine?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

    I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
    I can relate to this extremely. But it wasn't until it was too late when my parents realised I couldn't handle the pressure. After I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety nothing was easy and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. Don't feel like your parents are doing this because they want you to miss out and/or ruin your life (even though it seems like it). They only want what's best for you. There's so much more in life than your teenage years believe me. You can get through it.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

    I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
    Have you talked to anyone about the way you are feeling?

    What is your plan now? What will you be doing at university? Try not to dwell on the past - start planning for your future to make the best life possible.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    Sorry to hear of your troubles. Are you still planning on doing Medicine?
    No, I had enough. Felt like a huge burden I was carrying on my shoulders for a decade was lifted when I said no no and no. Even the thought or suggestion drives me absolutely crazy since I associate all my teenage isolation, depression and problems at school with it.
    • Section Leader
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I had enough. Felt like a huge burden I was carrying on my shoulders for a decade was lifted when I said no no and no. Even the thought or suggestion drives me absolutely crazy since I associate all my teenage isolation, depression and problems at school with it.
    Ok, so you won't be "so behind". There will be other 21+ students on the course.

    HOWEVER, if you are still struggling MH-wise perhaps now is not the time to be taking all this on. Are you seeing anyone about your current situation?
    • #3
    #3

    Not so relevant but Which uni were you in?
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Let this be a lesson to other candidates. Please do not apply to medicine under peer / family pressure.

    Medicine is only for those who are prepared for a life in the career. The degree is (for all intents and purposes) a ticket to join the job, rather than a generic degree for which the graduates will end up working in other sectors. Please make sure that you have done adequate work experience and volunteering, and you can see yourself working in the caring profession, high-stress, low-gratitude job for 40+ years.

    :ta:
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    You’re still young. I hope things work out better for you Don’t dwell on the negatives.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Try to think about the positives of this situation, though perhaps you may not be able to see them right now.

    You stood up for yourself and had the strength of character to say no I am not doing your choice but mine in my life.

    Medicine is not just a job but also a way of life.

    It almost has to be your hobby and job since you must give up so much to succeed in it.

    Yes it is interesting and high status but also one of the most demanding jobs anyone could do and often thankless.

    So you must really want to do it.

    Your battle was with your parents wish for you to do this v your realisation that you did not want to.

    You have to decide what makes you happy and go for it.

    You cannot live just to make someone else happy and not yourself as then you are not being true to yourself.

    This is the way to much unhappiness.

    So far much of your life has been your youth so this is why you feel you have lost so much.


    However from a older persons perspective this is only a small part of life and a lot more is to come.

    You have learnt a very important point in life early, which will stand you in good stead for what is to come.

    You must take care of your own happiness and not entrust this job to anyone else.

    Please understand that your parents thought that they were helping you by encourging your medicine dream.
    This job is universally held in high status all over the world and so is a dream job in many eyes.

    However there are many other career options that they are probably not even aware of.

    Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

    I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
    So sorry to hear about the pressure you were put under to study something you did not want to. Well done for stopping and saying 'No' - it was brave to stick up for yourself - better now than is three or four years time. You will still be able to apply for funding as everyone is allowed one 'gift year'.

    21 is not that old and you can follow YOUR dream Good luck.
    Online

    13
    ReputationRep:
    What would you like to study there are lots of foundation degrees that enable you to change track and will only add one year more and the student loans allow for one years 'mistake' on choice of course.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by ecolier)
    Let this be a lesson to other candidates. Please do not apply to medicine under peer / family pressure.

    Medicine is only for those who are prepared for a life in the career. The degree is (for all intents and purposes) a ticket to join the job, rather than a generic degree for which the graduates will end up working in other sectors. Please make sure that you have done adequate work experience and volunteering, and you can see yourself working in the caring profession, high-stress, low-gratitude job for 40+ years.

    :ta:
    This happened to me as well and now I'm a med student doing a pointless degree imo. What can I do tho. I can't defy my parents, might as well not exist. Supid interviewers gave me an offer too, tools.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    that sucks man. youre still young and have plenty more to live for! follow your dreams bro
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    How did you finally pull the trigger and drop out? What made you climax and do it?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TheProphetsPath)
    How did you finally pull the trigger and drop out? What made you climax and do it?
    Physically could not take it anymore - depression was taking over my life and somehow I just about managed to pick myself up and say no
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can relate to this extremely. But it wasn't until it was too late when my parents realised I couldn't handle the pressure. After I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety nothing was easy and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. Don't feel like your parents are doing this because they want you to miss out and/or ruin your life (even though it seems like it). They only want what's best for you. There's so much more in life than your teenage years believe me. You can get through it.
    Sorry but I can't see how a parent would love their child and make their life hell. It seems like they want to use their child as a reflection of themselves so they can boast to their friends or something. I would hate to be in OP's situation.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Physically could not take it anymore - depression was taking over my life and somehow I just about managed to pick myself up and say no
    So did you do first year university? How did you differentiate between "okay this is very bad but i will get past it and have brighter days" and "this is too much for me, i will quit and find something else"? And essentially what i'm asking of you is that how did you know you won't feel the same in another degree and it's just your mental state at the moment and that perhaps you would enjoy it after your mental state has been strengthened ?
    I applaud your ability to take control, and I hope you are relieved of your situation. One thing I would suggest contemplating is that your age doesn't really matter in university and the past isn't within your control anymore. The only thing you can do now is to act out your responsibility to ensure that you get the best out of the situation you are in now, regardless of who's fault it is that you're in this situation.
 
 
 
Poll
Have you ever experienced bullying?
Useful resources

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.