The Student Room Group

I am lonely - how do I initiate a conversation on Facebook?

Hi everyone,

I am feeling a little lonely/under pressure at university with work, andjust want to speak to some friends.

The only thing is, I have difficulties initiating conversations (mild/moderate ASC) and I over worry and analyse it.

I just really want to reach out to someone (anyone) on my Facebook contacts (c.600 to choose from) just for a chat. The only thing is, I haven't spoken to many for a long time - many are old school friends, and am not sure of the strength of the friendship connection anymore.

Should I just say something like '(I am lonely) please can I talk to you on Facebook?'

I just really want to speak to some friends, as I have isolated myself under a mountain of work at uni for the last fortnight, and the pressure/isolation has built up to breaking level.

I don't really have any close friends here to talk to.

Please can someone help me initiate a message?
Reply 1
...
Reply 2
Uhm I thought it was common knowledge that saying “im lonely” as a conversation starter won’t get you anywhere lol. Just start by saying hi? Ask how they are and what they’re doing with their life... Hard to believe someone at your age doesn’t know how to start a conversation, yikes.
Original post by Tomm98
Hi everyone,

I am feeling a little lonely/under pressure at university with work, andjust want to speak to some friends.

The only thing is, I have difficulties initiating conversations (mild/moderate ASC) and I over worry and analyse it.

I just really want to reach out to someone (anyone) on my Facebook contacts (c.600 to choose from) just for a chat. The only thing is, I haven't spoken to many for a long time - many are old school friends, and am not sure of the strength of the friendship connection anymore.

Should I just say something like '(I am lonely) please can I talk to you on Facebook?'

I just really want to speak to some friends, as I have isolated myself under a mountain of work at uni for the last fortnight, and the pressure/isolation has built up to breaking level.

I don't really have any close friends here to talk to.

Please can someone help me initiate a message?

You can start off by just say “Hi, how are you?”. Ease into the conversation and don’t be too forward straight away.
Firstly dont say I'm lonely
Just say hi how have u been doing it's been a long time° with a cheery tone
U will be fine
Take deep breaths
Message like 10 people
Reply 5
Should I just put a smiley face and see who replies?

Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?
Reply 6
Original post by haadib011
Firstly dont say I'm lonely
Just say hi how have u been doing it's been a long time° with a cheery tone
U will be fine
Take deep breaths
Message like 10 people


Original post by Pseudo Intellect
You can start off by just say “Hi, how are you?”. Ease into the conversation and don’t be too forward straight away.


Original post by patry27
Uhm I thought it was common knowledge that saying “im lonely” as a conversation starter won’t get you anywhere lol. Just start by saying hi? Ask how they are and what they’re doing with their life... Hard to believe someone at your age doesn’t know how to start a conversation, yikes.



1.

Should I just put a smiley face and see who replies?

Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?



1.

Should I just put a smiley face and see who replies?

Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?

Reply 7
Original post by Tomm98

1.

Should I just put a smiley face and see who replies?

Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?



1.

Should I just put a smiley face and see who replies?

Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?



You shouldn’t have to ask if it’s okay to talk to one of your friends lol wtf if they reply in the first place then they’re happy to talk
Original post by patry27
You shouldn’t have to ask if it’s okay to talk to one of your friends lol wtf if they reply in the first place then they’re happy to talk

The way OP is asking us these questions I’m starting to think they are trolling. :colonhash:
Reply 9
Original post by Pseudo Intellect
The way OP is asking us these questions I’m starting to think they are trolling. :colonhash:


Yeah probably, ima just stop replying
Why do you have '600' friends if you never talk to any of them

I have 50 people on Facebook and that's through TSR, school and university, baffles me how people have hundreds, what exactly is the point.

Original post by Pseudo Intellect
The way OP is asking us these questions I’m starting to think they are trolling. :colonhash:

Same tbh..
Reply 11
I am sorry. I am just too polite. I feel that because it has been about two years since we have last spoke that they would no longer want to hear from me anymore.

Original post by patry27
You shouldn’t have to ask if it’s okay to talk to one of your friends lol wtf if they reply in the first place then they’re happy to talk
Original post by Tomm98
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Or should I say 'how are you', and then in my next message to them (just after they replied to me), ask if it is okay if I can talk to them because I feeling a little down with a lot of pressure at uni?[/li]
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No. Don't. Just say hi what's new. If u need someone to talk to talk to he family
Otherwise just say hi what's going on
Original post by CoolCavy
Why do you have '600' friends if you never talk to any of them

I have 50 people on Facebook and that's through TSR, school and university, baffles me how people have hundreds, what exactly is the point.


Same tbh..

What’s annoying is it’ll put other TSR members off of helping people when trolls like OP makes threads on serious issues.
Reply 14
I am not a troll. I have a diagnosis of Aspergers and struggle with social situations. This is why I struggle asking for help, as few people actually understand my condition and instead, are simply judgmental.

Thanks to those who tried to help, and not judge.
Original post by Tomm98
I am not a troll. I have a diagnosis of Aspergers and struggle with social situations. This is why I struggle asking for help, as few people actually understand my condition and instead, are simply judgmental.

Thanks to those who tried to help, and not judge.

In that case, sinply say, as ithers have stated, 'hey, how are you? Been a long time' etc.
Original post by Tomm98
I am not a troll. I have a diagnosis of Aspergers and struggle with social situations. This is why I struggle asking for help, as few people actually understand my condition and instead, are simply judgmental.

Thanks to those who tried to help, and not judge.

If it's people from school then be like 'Hey it's been a while, I was wondering how you're getting on' and then discuss university and how life is in general. If its people from university then ask about how their degree is going and if they'd like a coffee sometime or if they'd like to go out somewhere with you.
Original post by Tomm98
I am not a troll. I have a diagnosis of Aspergers and struggle with social situations. This is why I struggle asking for help, as few people actually understand my condition and instead, are simply judgmental.

Thanks to those who tried to help, and not judge.

Then I truly apologise for judging you and calling you a troll.

The best thing to do is just start off by saying hi. Once they respond ask how they are and how things are going for the person. Other TSR users have said something similar I believe.

Just don’t straight away say you are lonely and or feeling a little down. It may make the other person feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
(edited 5 years ago)

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