Mum is giving me hell about UCAS applications Watch

dadaforever02
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So, as an EU citizen, we (my mum and I) are not technically as 'familiar' with UCAS as we would like. I sent my application in on the 1st of October and have yet to recieve offers and my mum is freaking out and worrying resulting in daily screaming matches. I keep telling her that offers dont always come in straight away, but she's worried something went wrong since we had to submit our grades through our referee instead of directly through UCAS. She's been screaming all week and wants to take over my UCAS account and send emails to all the universities demanding answers and keeps telling me to ask everyone I know about more information and keeps bugging me to send emails to the unis when I see no point. How do I make her see that she's being irrational, as everytime I say something about it she starts shouting and throwing with things and just being overly dramatic?
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
So, as an EU citizen, we (my mum and I) are not technically as 'familiar' with UCAS as we would like. I sent my application in on the 1st of October and have yet to recieve offers and my mum is freaking out and worrying resulting in daily screaming matches. I keep telling her that offers dont always come in straight away, but she's worried something went wrong since we had to submit our grades through our referee instead of directly through UCAS. She's been screaming all week and wants to take over my UCAS account and send emails to all the universities demanding answers and keeps telling me to ask everyone I know about more information and keeps bugging me to send emails to the unis when I see no point. How do I make her see that she's being unrational, as everytime I say something about it she starts shouting and throwing with things and just being overly dramatic?
Don't give in - it's your application and quite frankly your mother needs to sit down with a cup of tea and some custard creams to calm down.

Have you told your school? Perhaps they can organise some form of meeting or speak over the phone with her for some reassurance?
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filipw
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Have you asked your school for help?

My school helped me send my off and I already got 4/5 offers resonably fast
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aaminahsaleem
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
So, as an EU citizen, we (my mum and I) are not technically as 'familiar' with UCAS as we would like. I sent my application in on the 1st of October and have yet to recieve offers and my mum is freaking out and worrying resulting in daily screaming matches. I keep telling her that offers dont always come in straight away, but she's worried something went wrong since we had to submit our grades through our referee instead of directly through UCAS. She's been screaming all week and wants to take over my UCAS account and send emails to all the universities demanding answers and keeps telling me to ask everyone I know about more information and keeps bugging me to send emails to the unis when I see no point. How do I make her see that she's being unrational, as everytime I say something about it she starts shouting and throwing with things and just being overly dramatic?
Don't let her access.

Many universities take ages to respond - some use a gathered field where they only assess applications after Jan the 15th which is the UCAS deadline, which is why you might be waiting for a longer time. Universities have until the 2nd of May, don't let this worry you
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RussianQuestion
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You've received acknowledgement emails from all your choices, right?
You could show her those to say that your application is in the hands of the unis now. It also says on UCAS Track that your unis have until May 2019 to respond, which is a long long while from now and so unis can take as much time as they want (until that date, obviously). Not getting offers immediately is no cause for concern.
Also, some of your unis may use the 'gathered field' approach, where they don't begin looking at applications seriously until after the 15th January deadline. This may be the case for the ones you've applied to, or perhaps they might be dealing with EU students separately.
Also, check the fastest and slowest offers thread (also in this forum) to see if your unis have actually been giving out offers yet for your chosen course.
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dadaforever02
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(Original post by aaminahsaleem)
Don't let her access.

Many universities take ages to respond - some use a gathered field where they only assess applications after Jan the 15th which is the UCAS deadline, which is why you might be waiting for a longer time. Universities have until the 2nd of May, don't let this worry you
She's worried because others have recieved applications, but from Manchester and Durham, two uni's that I didn't apply to, so I don't see a reason to worry. Ideally my first choice would be Edinburgh, but I hear most people get offers around December, but she doesn't listen to me. Though I firmly told her that she wasn't getting my passwords as I don't trust her not to do something behind my back.
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dadaforever02
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(Original post by RussianQuestion)
You've received acknowledgement emails from all your choices, right?
You could show her those to say that your application is in the hands of the unis now. It also says on UCAS Track that your unis have until May 2019 to respond, which is a long long while from now and so unis can take as much time as they want (until that date, obviously). Not getting offers immediately is no cause for concern.
Also, some of your unis may use the 'gathered field' approach, where they don't begin looking at applications seriously until after the 15th January deadline. This may be the case for the ones you've applied to, or perhaps they might be dealing with EU students separately.
Also, check the fastest and slowest offers thread (also in this forum) to see if your unis have actually been giving out offers yet for your chosen course.
I have and forwarded the emails to her, but she's so stubborn that she won't hear anything she doesn't want to hear.
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dadaforever02
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
Don't give in - it's your application and quite frankly your mother needs to sit down with a cup of tea and some custard creams to calm down.

Have you told your school? Perhaps they can organise some form of meeting or speak over the phone with her for some reassurance?
Because I live in the Netherlands, I only have one teacher at my school that helps with UCAS applications. She has already done so much for me and has given me information about the applications over the past years but because it's only one teacher my mum doesn't trust her judgement (even though she's been doing this for decades) and ignores me when I bring up my teachers advice about not worrying. She won't relax until she's emailed all the universities demanding answers and its honestly getting on my nerves so much, because now I'm doubting my own application and whether or not I'll get in at all.
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ajj2000
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
Because I live in the Netherlands, I only have one teacher at my school that helps with UCAS applications. She has already done so much for me and has given me information about the applications over the past years but because it's only one teacher my mum doesn't trust her judgement (even though she's been doing this for decades) and ignores me when I bring up my teachers advice about not worrying. She won't relax until she's emailed all the universities demanding answers and its honestly getting on my nerves so much, because now I'm doubting my own application and whether or not I'll get in at all.
Which universities have you applied for and which course?

Could you get your mother to post on a British parents website to get some support from other parents whose children are going through the same process?
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Emma:-)
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
I have and forwarded the emails to her, but she's so stubborn that she won't hear anything she doesn't want to hear.
Like others have said, dont give her your password, you dont know what she will do.
Does she know that technically the unis have until may to send offers (i know that they usually send offers long before then but they have until then if they see fit).
Have you spoken to your teacher about your mum? It may be worth getting the teacher to speak to her. If it comes from someone else as well as you she might be more inclined to believe it.
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CoffeeAndPolitics
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(Original post by Blue_Cow)
Don't give in - it's your application and quite frankly your mother needs to sit down with a cup of tea and some custard creams to calm down.

Have you told your school? Perhaps they can organise some form of meeting or speak over the phone with her for some reassurance?
dadaforever02 fully agree with my colleague here. Having someone from school explain the UCAS application process and offering some reassurance should hopefully calm her down. I sent mine off on Monday 5th November and only heard back from 3 universities - 2 has given me offers and 1 invited me to an interview via email. Also, you are right that universities don't respond quickly because they have thousands and thousands of applicants to go through. Good luck with your studies.
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DrSocSciences
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Mums worry. I'm a mum and have seen my older kids go through UCAS, and it is undeniably stressful. However, and you can tell her from me, it's your responsibility to monitor the application, not hers. So if anyone should be chasing via phone or email, it should be you not her. She could actually be damaging your prospects by getting too closely involved, particularly when it comes to contacting your shortlisted destinations. Keep her busy by tasking her with something useful but less potentially damaging: ask her to do some online research about accommodation options for your target universities. That should keep her off your back for a while.
Last edited by DrSocSciences; 1 year ago
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HasanQ585
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If you've received e-mails from your Universities saying that they have acknowledged your application then they are doing just that and you are fine; right now I also haven't gotten any offers yet (sent my application off on the 12th of October). I guess just show those e-mails to your mum and hope that puts her at ease a bit lol
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TheTroll73
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it's your application and you will be going to uni so imo your mother should not care so long she did here best to keep you going (which she did since you're ob alive rn)
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LeapingLucy
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
She's worried because others have recieved applications, but from Manchester and Durham, two uni's that I didn't apply to, so I don't see a reason to worry. Ideally my first choice would be Edinburgh, but I hear most people get offers around December, but she doesn't listen to me. Though I firmly told her that she wasn't getting my passwords as I don't trust her not to do something behind my back.
Edinburgh can take ages to respond. I didn’t get my offer until the end of February when I applied.
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Doones
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
She's worried because others have recieved applications, but from Manchester and Durham, two uni's that I didn't apply to, so I don't see a reason to worry. Ideally my first choice would be Edinburgh, but I hear most people get offers around December, but she doesn't listen to me. Though I firmly told her that she wasn't getting my passwords as I don't trust her not to do something behind my back.
Edinburgh, and Scottish universities generally, often take longer to decide especially as an EU applicant because places are capped due to the free tuition fees.

Most universities decide by March, but it can take until May.

Tell her to have a nice :tea:
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by dadaforever02)
So, as an EU citizen, we (my mum and I) are not technically as 'familiar' with UCAS as we would like. I sent my application in on the 1st of October and have yet to recieve offers and my mum is freaking out and worrying resulting in daily screaming matches. I keep telling her that offers dont always come in straight away, but she's worried something went wrong since we had to submit our grades through our referee instead of directly through UCAS. She's been screaming all week and wants to take over my UCAS account and send emails to all the universities demanding answers and keeps telling me to ask everyone I know about more information and keeps bugging me to send emails to the unis when I see no point. How do I make her see that she's being irrational, as everytime I say something about it she starts shouting and throwing with things and just being overly dramatic?
Ha ha this could have been me. I sympathise with your mum. I have three children and I was like this with all of them although not demanding passwords.

For some reason all of them picked universities that were slow. I seem to recall that with my daughter her top choice UCL was so late in responding. Something like March. All her friends had offers virtually straight away. Edinburgh was slow as was Bristol.

As long as you are confident that you have predicted grades and have a good range of choices you will get offers. Mums eh. Can't live with them can't live without them.
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phat-chewbacca
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(Original post by DrSocSciences)
Mums worry. I'm a mum and have seen my older kids go through UCAS, and it is undeniably stressful. However, and you can tell her from me, it's your responsibility to monitor the application, not hers. So if anyone should be chasing via phone or email, it should be you not her. She could actually be damaging your prospects by getting too closely involved, particularly when it comes to contacting your shortlisted destinations. Keep her busy by tasking her with something useful but less potentially damaging: ask her to do some online research about accommodation options for your target universities. That should keep her off your back for a while.
bruh she doesn't sound dumb, her radar will detect this!
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byeongkwans
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I sent my application in December and received offers at the end of February. It does take time to hear back from them because there's so many applications.
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DrSocSciences
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(Original post by phat-chewbacca)
bruh she doesn't sound dumb, her radar will detect this!
Reckon so too, but at least she can be useful, and feel useful.
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