I agree with other posters where it's up to you to decide whether you're still a virgin or not. Whichever you decide, it seriously won't even change who you are. You don't undergo some crazy physical/spiritual/mental transformation when you lose your virginity. Just a very small sexual transformation that will gradually continue each time you explore yourself sexually. Same thing happens when you masturbate and try out new things. Overall it really doesn't matter.
With regards to the pain, I had a similar experience. Actually took three weeks to get it in, and my ex wasn't particularly big or anything. So here's my advice:
Plenty of foreplay
I prefer my natural lubrication; feels better
Relax
Start off with a finger maybe, then go to two
Make him go in very slowly
Once he's in, he can just slightly move around a little in there to open things up before actually thrusting
When he does start thrusting, again, slowly and gently
And lastly, don't be afraid to stop if it hurts and try again tomorrow. Like I said, it took me three weeks to lose my virginity.
The vagina expands when aroused, there's no such thing as a tight or loose vagina. Just an expanded or contracted one.