Should I delete an online friend who is beginning to drain me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I've been chatting with someone on FB for about 2 months now.
Personally, I'm finding some of our discussions really difficult to handle. He has some mental health issues and often can get quite highly strung.

I'm quite afraid of saying things in case they are misinterpreted and he gets upset. He has also had episodes of being suicidal. I worry that if I stopped talking, that he would cause himself some serious harm. He also seems desperate to meet me for some reason, even though he lives in another part of the country. Finally, he also keeps pressuring me into sending him photos of myself. Surely friends aren't meant to make you feel uncomfortable?

I've had mentally unstable friends before and it was torturous dealing with them each day. I fear that this guy may be much the same. What should I do?
Remain or cut contact? I'm wanting to get rid of FB and find more real life friends TBH.
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SoulfulTwist
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#2
Cut contact if it drains you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Cut contact if it drains you.
Would you say that is the best thing based on my OP? He seems a bit clingy, but I worry that he may do something bad if I cut contact, having had episodes of poor mental health.
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astroworld
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Introduce him to other people
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Would you say that is the best thing based on my OP? He seems a bit clingy, but I worry that he may do something bad if I cut contact, having had episodes of poor mental health.
For you. Yes.
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Leviathan1741
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I was in this same situation myself, I'd starting chatting to someone on FB after they'd mentioned they were struggling with anxiety (which turned out to be just one issue among others including depression). After a couple of months I told them that although I appreciated their conversations, I wasn't prepared to act as their counsellor anymore and that they should look for help elsewhere. I had issues of my own that I was trying to get through too and didn't want to be putting any more of my emotion and energy into helping them as well, which I realised over time was futile anyway. I blocked them and although I felt bad at first, it was the best thing for me as they were starting to affect my life too much.

I believe you should put your own needs first, if they are getting too much to deal with then cut off contact with them. My mum once said to me "you can only be responsible for your own actions" - ultimately it is up to them to help themselves, you can only do so much and you should focus on your own wellbeing first.

I hope that helps
Last edited by Leviathan1741; 1 year ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Leviathan1741)
I was in this same situation myself, I'd starting chatting to someone on FB after they'd mentioned they were struggling with anxiety (which turned out to be just one issue among others including depression). After a couple of months I told them that although I appreciated their conversations, I wasn't prepared to act as their counsellor anymore and that they should look for help elsewhere. I had issues of my own that I was trying to get through too and didn't want to be putting any more of my emotion and energy into helping them as well, which I realised over time was futile anyway. I blocked them and although I felt bad at first, it was the best thing for me as they were starting to affect my life too much.

I believe you should put your own needs first, if they are getting too much to deal with then cut off contact with them. My mum once said to me "you can only be responsible for your own actions" - ultimately it is up to them to help themselves, you can only do so much and you should focus on your own wellbeing first.

I hope that helps
Were we talking to the same person? Sounds like a mirror image of my experience.

Thanks for your advice. One reservation is that he has had the occasional period of being suicidal. That scares me.
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ignorewhatisay
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bruhh

this happened to em but not them dragging me down.

just some crush on a girl who was leading me on and distracted me a lot from school. i was ready to go meet up with her as well(they say love is strong )!
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Leviathan1741
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Were we talking to the same person? Sounds like a mirror image of my experience.

Thanks for your advice. One reservation is that he has had the occasional period of being suicidal. That scares me.
It could well be, sometimes he would threaten to hurt himself or worse whilst we were talking. As much as I wanted to help him I also needed to help myself, so in the end I blocked him and just hoped that he'd get the help he needed from someone else, who'd know how best to deal with the issues he had
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Krisis
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If this person is not valued by you, you shouldn't even be talking to him. I seriously hate people who don't like someone but keep talking to them because they claim they don't wanna hurt them. Bull-****. You will eventually hurt them if you mean a lot to them and they mean little to you. Do it as soon as possible and stop virtue signaling that you care.
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