Trying, but still not succeeding with friendships

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
People say to join clubs and do things such as volunteering to try and make friends.

I currently volunteer at a primary school for 2 hours every Wednesday and travel with a few other volunteers from my school, but there are 2 people who act like BFF's and any time that I try and be part of the conversation, I'm either ignored or just feel as if I am an interruption. The other guys don't say anything. I just feel very excluded and these people clearly don't seem interested.

Then, clubs. Every time I've went to a club recently, there has been major age gaps between me and the people there. One club was full of older guys while one was full of 11-14 year olds while I am turning 17 soon. Those age gaps just don't mean that any friendships are viable.

These are the obvious options and both have failed. Still friendless and don't want to be. Are there any other approaches?
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J3niee
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
People say to join clubs and do things such as volunteering to try and make friends.

I currently volunteer at a primary school for 2 hours every Wednesday and travel with a few other volunteers from my school, but there are 2 people who act like BFF's and any time that I try and be part of the conversation, I'm either ignored or just feel as if I am an interruption. The other guys don't say anything. I just feel very excluded and these people clearly don't seem interested.

Then, clubs. Every time I've went to a club recently, there has been major age gaps between me and the people there. One club was full of older guys while one was full of 11-14 year olds while I am turning 17 soon. Those age gaps just don't mean that any friendships are viable.

These are the obvious options and both have failed. Still friendless and don't want to be. Are there any other approaches?
this is difficult. you just need to join new clubs and hope you find people. initiate conversations with people around you, who you could easily become friends with because you’re around them a lot. strike conversations whenever possible and appear confident- don’t worry about what hey think because usually people are just too nervous to speak to you.
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Hopefully1
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Well, this may not be much help but hopefully will give you hope. You are 17 so you are on the cusp of a very transitional period of time. Uni. Do everything you can to make sure you can go to uni and if at all possible go to a new place for uni and live in on campus housing. That is a great way to meet new people are are new to uni.....just like you. I am truly sorry you are doing the right things (and it sounds like you are) but don't lose hope you can start over and eventually meet new people who will be friends. Don't let the experience you are having now lower your self esteem. Those guys that are just talking to each other probably do know each other and sometimes it is hard to break into a friendship even if you're doing the right things. Have hope that this won't be your life forever. Keep putting yourself out there and don't be afraid to meet new people but at your age the best way will be to go to uni and meet new people there.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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My mother is putting pressure on me to try and find friends, and apparently is making me sign up for something at church if I don't do something.

She thinks I'm not trying but the reality is that there is simply nothing to try at.
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thedoulamom
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(Original post by Anonymous)
People say to join clubs and do things such as volunteering to try and make friends.

I currently volunteer at a primary school for 2 hours every Wednesday and travel with a few other volunteers from my school, but there are 2 people who act like BFF's and any time that I try and be part of the conversation, I'm either ignored or just feel as if I am an interruption. The other guys don't say anything. I just feel very excluded and these people clearly don't seem interested.

Then, clubs. Every time I've went to a club recently, there has been major age gaps between me and the people there. One club was full of older guys while one was full of 11-14 year olds while I am turning 17 soon. Those age gaps just don't mean that any friendships are viable.

These are the obvious options and both have failed. Still friendless and don't want to be. Are there any other approaches?
This is such a hard thing! Unfortuneately, cliques are something that don't end in high school. It hurts so much to be on the outside of things. Have you looked into other extra curricular activities like sports or drama club? What about a church youth group? Life transitions will be happening very soon for you, especially if you plan to go to university. Just keep reaching out. Eventually, you'll find your tribe. ;-)
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by thedoulamom)
Have you looked into other extra curricular activities like sports or drama club? What about a church youth group? Life transitions will be happening very soon for you, especially if you plan to go to university. Just keep reaching out. Eventually, you'll find your tribe. ;-)
I'm not into either sports or performing arts. That seems to be what the bulk of clubs are about. As for church, whilst my mother is Catholic, I'm not and don't want to be part of it.

I had one thing that I really wanted this year and it didn't work out. That crushed any optimism about this year and I've just been coasting without much happiness for about 2 months now.
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