So, I had a thing with this guy, let's call him Mod. We seemed to really click, and we had so much to talk about. I stayed over at his after 2 weeks, about 4 in dates. I feel things changed after a month and we kept on meeting up but mostly for sex sleepovers. At the time I was super busy with uni so it's not like I had much choice to do more. But I really liked him and wanted to know if there was a future (two months in) so I just asked what we were. His response (whilst naked in my bed at 1am) was "I'm not going to marry you," I didn't know what to say. But my friend explained that it hurt, because it was clear he didn't want to get to know me, and had already discarded me. Anyhow, he goes home for a few days, tells his mum he's seeing someone (why?) and I decide to pause things and just study.
We stay texting (my end mostly sexting) as he hates "when things suddenly end." There are a few plans to meet up, but I bail last minute, 60% out of maliciousness, 40% out of exhaustion. Then after four months of consistent texting he stops, I message after I finish and he seems cool. To which I think he's found a new girl to take up the consistent texting with.
Anyhow, I messaged him about two months after this silence to ask if he wanted to meet up for a catch-up drink. Admittedly it sounded more flirty than I intended it to. (I had been sleeping with someone else and using dating apps).
But I still think about him (as shown by this essay), and am interested in where he is in life now. I definitely don't want to start things again. But I find I can't date anyone properly, i.e want to get invested or actually search for someone I click with, because I'm still somewhat bitter.
Advice?