Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I am now 17 and my mum is still strict about when i go out. I don't go to parties and get drunk nor do drugs. Usually i just go out with friends to the cinema or shopping and etc yet she makes me come home at 5:30pm. What makes it worse is im only 10 minutes away. Literally we live near a massive shopping centre which has everything there. If i do go out far i have to tell my friends we have to go early. The only way we can fit everything we want to do in is if i leave at 10am. One of my friends parents are just like mine and its pretty annoying. Her mum is worse and will take her there then let her go but still. I understand why shes worried but i do text and call her when im going home or wherever i am. Because of this me and her are rarely invited anywhere. Whenever a birthday happens they don't invite us because they know we cant stay for long or our parents will say no.

Today im going to the cinema by myself (friends couldnt go since all the tickets sold really fast) and shes getting mad since it starts at 6:30pm. Once again, its one bus ride and 10-15 mins. Its a very public area so i cant get attacked or etc. My phones always charged and i never go on it when im out so the battery doesnt die.

When i go to university i plan to study abroad and she said no. I asked my dad and he said i can but shes still pretty sure im not going anywhere. I know when you're 18 you're legally allowed to leave but she has my passport and things.. Ive spoke to her about it and all she said is the latest i can go out is 6 then.

If i dont get home before shes home from work she calls my older siblings and they tell me to go home or ask why im not home yet.

Also when i dont go out she tells me i should start going out and calls me lazy??

Advice? Should i just suck it up till i can leave?
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Claire461
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#2
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#2
I would bide your time until you leave. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you need to try and focus on that and look forward to it.
There is no point in antagonising your mother at this point, because she will dig her heels in even more and life will become even more unbearable.
Your Dad is on your side and by the time it comes for you to leave for university, just hope that he can soften her up a bit.
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LostAccount
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#3
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Whether your mum is too strict depends on the context of the asker (ethnicity, culture among other factors like age and mother's personal childhood)
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Anonymous #2
#4
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#4
Depends on your mum's experience too and where you guys live, or if she's seen something. It's just one more year so you should focus on your studies so you have a chance of getting out fo there
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tomlane33
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am now 17 and my mum is still strict about when i go out. I don't go to parties and get drunk nor do drugs. Usually i just go out with friends to the cinema or shopping and etc yet she makes me come home at 5:30pm. What makes it worse is im only 10 minutes away. Literally we live near a massive shopping centre which has everything there. If i do go out far i have to tell my friends we have to go early. The only way we can fit everything we want to do in is if i leave at 10am. One of my friends parents are just like mine and its pretty annoying. Her mum is worse and will take her there then let her go but still. I understand why shes worried but i do text and call her when im going home or wherever i am. Because of this me and her are rarely invited anywhere. Whenever a birthday happens they don't invite us because they know we cant stay for long or our parents will say no.

Today im going to the cinema by myself (friends couldnt go since all the tickets sold really fast) and shes getting mad since it starts at 6:30pm. Once again, its one bus ride and 10-15 mins. Its a very public area so i cant get attacked or etc. My phones always charged and i never go on it when im out so the battery doesnt die.

When i go to university i plan to study abroad and she said no. I asked my dad and he said i can but shes still pretty sure im not going anywhere. I know when you're 18 you're legally allowed to leave but she has my passport and things.. Ive spoke to her about it and all she said is the latest i can go out is 6 then.

If i dont get home before shes home from work she calls my older siblings and they tell me to go home or ask why im not home yet.

Also when i dont go out she tells me i should start going out and calls me lazy??

Advice? Should i just suck it up till i can leave?
break her jaw, i did it and no problems since
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DrMikeHuntHertz
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#6
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#6
Tell her that her behavior is making you consider alcoholism.
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jonathanemptage
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am now 17 and my mum is still strict about when i go out. I don't go to parties and get drunk nor do drugs. Usually i just go out with friends to the cinema or shopping and etc yet she makes me come home at 5:30pm. What makes it worse is im only 10 minutes away. Literally we live near a massive shopping centre which has everything there. If i do go out far i have to tell my friends we have to go early. The only way we can fit everything we want to do in is if i leave at 10am. One of my friends parents are just like mine and its pretty annoying. Her mum is worse and will take her there then let her go but still. I understand why shes worried but i do text and call her when im going home or wherever i am. Because of this me and her are rarely invited anywhere. Whenever a birthday happens they don't invite us because they know we cant stay for long or our parents will say no.

Today im going to the cinema by myself (friends couldnt go since all the tickets sold really fast) and shes getting mad since it starts at 6:30pm. Once again, its one bus ride and 10-15 mins. Its a very public area so i cant get attacked or etc. My phones always charged and i never go on it when im out so the battery doesnt die.

When i go to university i plan to study abroad and she said no. I asked my dad and he said i can but shes still pretty sure im not going anywhere. I know when you're 18 you're legally allowed to leave but she has my passport and things.. Ive spoke to her about it and all she said is the latest i can go out is 6 then.

If i dont get home before shes home from work she calls my older siblings and they tell me to go home or ask why im not home yet.

Also when i dont go out she tells me i should start going out and calls me lazy??

Advice? Should i just suck it up till i can leave?
Well first of all you need your passport I'd try talking to her first explaining that asside from it allowing you to get out of the country you need it for other things like applying to jobs and things if she refuses you can actually go to the police and report it stolen (give the passport advice line a call first) even if is still in your house it's in her possision and she won't let you get it.

On the cerfew front you might need to suck it upuntil you go to uni far away and live in halls or whatever.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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#8
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Are you 18 already? If you are then she has no right to be witholding your passport from you. Whether or not you should have a curfew is a different issue. I personally don't think she should be anywhere near this harsh once you're an adult, however you're unfortunate in that it's her house - so her rules. I would actively make sure you live in halls when you go to uni, and I promise life will start. So long as you get your student loan and find relatively cheap halls, you should be able to do this without her support if needed, and you can get a job while you're there, so even if she says you're not allowed to live in halls, there isn't a great deal she can do about it.
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SalazarSlytherin
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#9
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#9
Just dont listen to her wtf its not her life
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xDron3
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#10
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#10
Trying to keep your kid close through strictness like that will just make them break away even further than they would've.

Bide your time, wait till uni and get your dad to get your passport etc.
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PepeTheFroggi
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#11
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#11
(Original post by tomlane33)
break her jaw, i did it and no problems since
I absolutely have no idea if your comment is a joke or is actually serious.
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muthalganesan18
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#12
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What ethnicity and/or religious are you?
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ignorewhatisay
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#13
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when Theresa May declares a purge. make sure she's on your list.
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astroworld
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#14
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#14
Ur mum and my mum need to have tea and chat bc they got bare stuff in common
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Anonymous #3
#15
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#15
As unfair as this is, I'd really bide my time till I leave for uni.

I'd just request your passport and stuff ("because you need them for enrollment", if you need an excuse) when you go to uni. If your mum says no, just a note: a person legally can't keep official documents of another person over 18 without permission (it's just a little complicated, since she's your ex-legal guardian).
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Supernovas
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#16
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#16
(Original post by astroworld)
Ur mum and my mum need to have tea and chat bc they got bare stuff in common
Invite my mum too, she is trying to stop me from going to a uni outside London - she even refused to let me apply to Oxford university because it isn't in London.
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EmperorTortoise
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am now 17 and my mum is still strict about when i go out. I don't go to parties and get drunk nor do drugs. Usually i just go out with friends to the cinema or shopping and etc yet she makes me come home at 5:30pm. What makes it worse is im only 10 minutes away. Literally we live near a massive shopping centre which has everything there. If i do go out far i have to tell my friends we have to go early. The only way we can fit everything we want to do in is if i leave at 10am. One of my friends parents are just like mine and its pretty annoying. Her mum is worse and will take her there then let her go but still. I understand why shes worried but i do text and call her when im going home or wherever i am. Because of this me and her are rarely invited anywhere. Whenever a birthday happens they don't invite us because they know we cant stay for long or our parents will say no.

Today im going to the cinema by myself (friends couldnt go since all the tickets sold really fast) and shes getting mad since it starts at 6:30pm. Once again, its one bus ride and 10-15 mins. Its a very public area so i cant get attacked or etc. My phones always charged and i never go on it when im out so the battery doesnt die.

When i go to university i plan to study abroad and she said no. I asked my dad and he said i can but shes still pretty sure im not going anywhere. I know when you're 18 you're legally allowed to leave but she has my passport and things.. Ive spoke to her about it and all she said is the latest i can go out is 6 then.

If i dont get home before shes home from work she calls my older siblings and they tell me to go home or ask why im not home yet.

Also when i dont go out she tells me i should start going out and calls me lazy??

Advice? Should i just suck it up till i can leave?
Honour thy father and thy mother
Last edited by EmperorTortoise; 1 year ago
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ManLike007
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
..
It would be ideally better to hear both sides of the story
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astroworld
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Supernovas)
Invite my mum too, she is trying to stop me from going to a uni outside London - she even refused to let me apply to Oxford university because it isn't in London.
Yes defo let's invite all the strict mums for a cuppa tea
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qq51204
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#20
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(Original post by astroworld)
Yes defo let's invite all the strict mums for a cuppa tea
can my mum join?
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