Social anxiety
Sorry it’s a bit of a long one,
I’m not actually sure if what I have is social anxiety or not, I’ve never had it checked by any sort of licensed professional before - so I’m doing the rational thing and asking strangers online. No but my last question I posted on here had great answers and helped me gain new perspectives so I’m just hoping for the same here.
For as long as I can remember I’ve had a problem interacting with people - when people try to talk to me it’s almost like I’m afraid to say anything in fear that it could come across as rude - even today My driving instructor asked how I’d been and I wanted to ask how she’d been in my head but I thought it might be crossing a line or something - when I’m with friends then I say whatever we make offensive jokes and all that but with other people I’m useless.
Even at work I basically talk to no one from there when they try to talk to me I cut the conversation short with a blunt answer or they make a joke, I give a laugh then say nothing - it’s not on purpose it’s just my brain goes completely blank and I don’t know what to say.
Again with my friends this is the opposite, I’m quick witted with them and make them laugh all the time.
I notice that people are just generally a lot more comfortable in the world than me for example me and a friend go to watch hockey games regularly m, last time he brought one of his friends and the guy was completely comfortable making jokes and stuff off the bat then when we watched the game he had his arms on his armrest and mine - I wouldn’t be able to do that because I’d be thinking of the other person it’s simple things like that it’s like I have a fear of offending people but I don’t know why.
It’s the same with girls and this one really annoys me because I’m a fairly attractive guy, I’ve watched girls through my peripheral vision sneak videos of me on their phones and the girls I’ve dated recently are all 8-9/10’s (though this is subjective) but I’m always scared to offend them by taking a next step of any sort, I make jokes and tease them but i can just never take initiative with girls or in life in general. It’s a really weird thing man I’ve learned that I basically have no real perspective as to how I come across to the outside world.
I used to be bullied for being chubby and having a big nose in middle school one time I cried in class and so my weight and stuff are always on my mind, when I tell people I’m fat and they act confused and tell me I’m not I get confused and the image I have of myself gets completely jumbled up.
At work i pedantically think about different things then someone came up to me and said whenever I see you your always so calm how do you do that? And again the image got jumbled up and it’s like I’m not sure who I am,
That’s the other thing everyone else seems so sure in who they are, whenever I look at people they seem confident in what they’re doing, where they’re going and who they are while I feel confused.
When I see a guy who seems sure in himself, and either quietly confident or loud and enthusiastic I automatically equate it to that guy being more of a man than me whether they’re big or small - everyday I tell myself this day will be different but I just have a barrier when it comes to talking to people - what’s going on?
Thanks
I’m not actually sure if what I have is social anxiety or not, I’ve never had it checked by any sort of licensed professional before - so I’m doing the rational thing and asking strangers online. No but my last question I posted on here had great answers and helped me gain new perspectives so I’m just hoping for the same here.
For as long as I can remember I’ve had a problem interacting with people - when people try to talk to me it’s almost like I’m afraid to say anything in fear that it could come across as rude - even today My driving instructor asked how I’d been and I wanted to ask how she’d been in my head but I thought it might be crossing a line or something - when I’m with friends then I say whatever we make offensive jokes and all that but with other people I’m useless.
Even at work I basically talk to no one from there when they try to talk to me I cut the conversation short with a blunt answer or they make a joke, I give a laugh then say nothing - it’s not on purpose it’s just my brain goes completely blank and I don’t know what to say.
Again with my friends this is the opposite, I’m quick witted with them and make them laugh all the time.
I notice that people are just generally a lot more comfortable in the world than me for example me and a friend go to watch hockey games regularly m, last time he brought one of his friends and the guy was completely comfortable making jokes and stuff off the bat then when we watched the game he had his arms on his armrest and mine - I wouldn’t be able to do that because I’d be thinking of the other person it’s simple things like that it’s like I have a fear of offending people but I don’t know why.
It’s the same with girls and this one really annoys me because I’m a fairly attractive guy, I’ve watched girls through my peripheral vision sneak videos of me on their phones and the girls I’ve dated recently are all 8-9/10’s (though this is subjective) but I’m always scared to offend them by taking a next step of any sort, I make jokes and tease them but i can just never take initiative with girls or in life in general. It’s a really weird thing man I’ve learned that I basically have no real perspective as to how I come across to the outside world.
I used to be bullied for being chubby and having a big nose in middle school one time I cried in class and so my weight and stuff are always on my mind, when I tell people I’m fat and they act confused and tell me I’m not I get confused and the image I have of myself gets completely jumbled up.
At work i pedantically think about different things then someone came up to me and said whenever I see you your always so calm how do you do that? And again the image got jumbled up and it’s like I’m not sure who I am,
That’s the other thing everyone else seems so sure in who they are, whenever I look at people they seem confident in what they’re doing, where they’re going and who they are while I feel confused.
When I see a guy who seems sure in himself, and either quietly confident or loud and enthusiastic I automatically equate it to that guy being more of a man than me whether they’re big or small - everyday I tell myself this day will be different but I just have a barrier when it comes to talking to people - what’s going on?
Thanks
you might be socially anxious but not have social anxiety. the first is almost normal behaviour; for instance, lots of people are shy or introverted (not necessarily both. you can be introverted and not necessarily shy). lots of people also have a perpetual need for people to like and accept them, so if this is the crux of your anxiety i'd say you're not far from normal.
do you have physical symptoms? i myself have social anxiety and my heart can go from 'resting' to heart attack in half a second (literally) to the point where i think i'll faint because i get so light-headed. it can happen over the littlest thing that normal people wouldn't have a problem with. my anxiety doesn't come from a fear of people not liking me tho; mine stems from trauma so i'm petrified of anything i'm not ready for (afraid of being attacked, basically).
do you have physical symptoms? i myself have social anxiety and my heart can go from 'resting' to heart attack in half a second (literally) to the point where i think i'll faint because i get so light-headed. it can happen over the littlest thing that normal people wouldn't have a problem with. my anxiety doesn't come from a fear of people not liking me tho; mine stems from trauma so i'm petrified of anything i'm not ready for (afraid of being attacked, basically).
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- How do I stop thinking about others when I am out and about
- How to overcome social anxiety?
- getting a job at 16 with social anxiety
- How to get rid of my social anxiety?
- Feeling lonely
- Social anxiety
- Weekly Wins and Woes #2
- I have serious problems with my social skills
- Considering dropping out of College next year?
- Considering dropping out of sixth form this september?
- Online dating multiple guys at once
- Going to uni with mental health struggles
- how do i stop being socially ******ed
- How to get rid of social anxiety
- Student participants needed for study on the influence of social media
- Participants for my dissertation study
- Help with extenuating circumstances form
- Help - dissertation participants needed.
- Anxiety
- Am i doomed?
