I need help. I really do not know what to do about this relationship

Moving away always gonna be rough. Especially when you been seeing each other every day. As for the arguing - thats *****y thing to do, hold things from a month back against you just to use them as an enotional leverage and make you feel bad. I mean i have v bad memory but even if i didnt i wouldnt use stuff thats irrelevant to justify or try to win the arguement. Its uncalled for and rude. I dont get why he brings up past misstakes if you both have moved on from yhese past srguements? Maybe hes not over it and keep in mind this will happen again in the future - use past arguements so be prepares dor that. He probably just started missing you and wanted to apologise but you must understand one thing, a person cannot change and slways will show their true colours when their angry or drunk. Thats what they actually are and he cant hide that looks like or stay away from being toxic. You seem like a noce and caring girl that just wanted to spend some time with him by talking on the airport, now I’m not sure why he wouldnt he might be mad at you for whatever reason ? But even if he was that didnt justify what he did and being like he was. Especially calling you “headass” now indont know how insilting that term is since I’m from the UK, but it does sound c insulting and deffo not something you should call your girlf. Also as dor the dirty talk might be part of bcs how hes feeling about you, if hes mad at you or upset at you he wont ge turned on. If u need any more help or advice dm me, you shouldnt get hurt on the daily. Thats not healthy for neither of u and its just toxic. You seem like a nice n carin girlf



(Original post by leivovo)
I need some relationship advice. About a month ago, I moved away from my boyfriend to another state, who I have now been with for close to a year. Him and I used to see each other pretty much every day. And now we don't see each other at all. Now it has been about a month since I moved and at first, we both just really missed each other, but now we aren't doing so great. The other day, we got into an argument over me saying something stupid and trying to take it back bt saying "it was a joke". He got mad saying "you should stop using that as an excuse." I then explained that I was just joking and then he brought up sonething from several months ago where I did something that "made him upset" even though it was all in good fun and was actually a joke. He didn't take it that way and was very upset with me, but at that time, we had just started dating and was very easy to forgive me and apogize for being the way he was. We haven't talked about it since then until now, and in our argument the other day, he specifically brought it up to make me feel bad, so I would bow down and stop arguing. He really hurg my feelings just by bringing that up, which i said numerous times, and proceeded to bring up other "mistakes" I've made and began to say "you are always forgetting and always making mistakes." Every time we have had an argument, he has always shifted the blame onto me, even though it wasn't my fault to begin with, and made me feel bad, always leaving the conversation angry and me alone hurt and in tears. After this particular argument, he came back about 2 hours after angrily leaving and proceeded to just gush about how sorry he was and realized he was being a total jerk. He even said he felt so bad, he went and got my a cute little cat plush to show he still cared. He told me to be honest with him about how he had treated me so I was. I told him about his blame shifting and how he personally attacked me over something ridiculous and had emotionally abused me. He felt so bad and even told me he was crying and felt so sorry. He promised me that he would never treat me like that again and would try his best to improve. A few days later, he was going to the airport to return back home (he was on a trip in Japan) and I was trying to talk to him for that little bit of time before he had to go on his 13 hour flight, but every time I messaged him, he told me to wait and just kept saying "bad reception" even though his reception was clearly fine based on how his messages were sending. After me being confused and asking questions, he angrily said "IT'S BECAUSE MY POOR RECEPTION IS USING UP MY DATA." I told him that he didn't explain anything about his battery before (because he didn't) and he just said, "Stop being a headass. You made me angry because of this. Now bye." And just left me, again. I was in my bathroom sobbing in tears because I was so hurt by his insult. After 40 minutes, he came back and said "hey, I'm getting on my flight and I will text you when I land" (he never talked to me when he was at the airport even though he told me before he even got there that he would). He said shortly after "I'm also very sorry for being mean earlier, you were just spamming me a lot." That doesn't seem like an apology. He is basically saying "I'm sorry I got upset, but it was your fault it happened so I couldn't help it." I was especially hurt because 2 days before, he made that big promise to me that he would treat me better and not be mean or attack me again. He barely followed through. I was so pissed at his *****y apology, I went to school in the morning so angry and heartbroken. When he finally landed, I confronted him and said I didn't appreciate him calling me a "headass" and that he broke his promise he had made. All he said was "it was rude for you to bring that up after I apologized." I was just so over him not listening, I just said "let's both say we're sorry." So, we did. We swept it under the rug. But, I'm still so frustrated. Not to mention today, he told me our dirty talk wasn't pleasing him anymore and he no longer wanted to do it. He didn't even suggest taking a break from it, he just wanted to stop doing it all together. I'm so heartbroken because I always had fun and put in all my effort when we did this stuff, and now he just shuts it down. I feel like he's not how he used to be when we first got together. He used to be so sweet and would alwayd treat me and be there for me, which he still is and still does, but I feel like he has been getting so easily angry with me lately. I miss the old him and I always feel so sad about him not being eith me in person anymore, let alone be like this. I don't even know what to do. I want to truly talk to him, but I'm worried he will shut me down again or try to blame it on me or just not listen. I could be wrong because there have been times where he would truly listen like just recently, but who knows at this point.