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A very serious crush on a guy with too many commitments

I don't want to ruin his stable life with what is probably just strong infatuation on my part. But some part of me wants MORE than semi-regular hook ups, even though I know that following your heart is never a good idea.
Which option is better to get over the whole thing quicker - should I stop seeing him for a while, or start seeing him more, to get sick of him sooner?
No trolls please, not in the mood for that ****. If you can't be civil, gtfo.

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Well sticky one without knowing any more details, wdym by stable life? Does he hv girlf? Wife? If hes in a relationship youre already wasting ur time if he wanted you he’d leave his current relationship but then again what makes you think he wont do the same with the next girl he meets?
Reply 2
Original post by Vennccc
Well sticky one without knowing any more details, wdym by stable life? Does he hv girlf? Wife? If hes in a relationship youre already wasting ur time if he wanted you he’d leave his current relationship but then again what makes you think he wont do the same with the next girl he meets?

Wife and 2 small kids. But he's deeply unhappy in his relationship. He's bi, and he's actually more attracted to men. Oh, and no, like I said, I don't really want him to leave his family. I have commitments of my own. I don't want to complicate my life with a stupid crush, I just want to get over it asap.
Follow your head and your heart, if they agree. Listen to them and do what they tell you.

If they disagree follow your head.

Easy to say, of course, harder to do.

Good luck
So are you ****ing him or are just thinking of ****ing him?
Original post by Ciel.
Wife and 2 small kids. But he's deeply unhappy in his relationship. He's bi, and he's actually more attracted to men. Oh, and no, like I said, I don't really want him to leave his family. I have commitments of my own. I don't want to complicate my life with a stupid crush, I just want to get over it asap.


I think you should be honest and tell him that he can do what he is doing without hurting his wife and especially his kids. You need to tell him to seriously consider divorce or come clean to his wife and fix his marriage.

If he is very unhappy then I think he should at least tell her what he has been doing with you and let her know he doesn't want to continue to live with his wife and to seperate. Seeing him more or less frequently isn't the right thing to do to fix this situation, but if he at least comes clean then I don't see why you can't continue to do what you are doing. It is quite unfair on his wife, even if she is truly terrible, and even more so his kids.

I hope you do the right thing OP, advise him well. I've been in a similar position before. Good luck.
(edited 5 years ago)
So wait, you’re in a relationship yourself and you cheating with a married man?? Dude, just stop. It’s normal to get crushes but the important is to NOT pursue them
Oh my lord, stop with your promiscuous ways. You have a boyfriend already, so there's no way you can have an official thing with this married man without leaving your current partner who you seem to be totally dependent on for money and shelter.
Reply 8
Original post by Krisis
So are you ****ing him or are just thinking of ****ing him?


****ing him.

Original post by ZombieTheWolf
I think you should be honest and tell him that he can do what he is doing without hurting his wife and especially his kids. You need to tell him to seriously consider divorce or come clean to his wife and fix his marriage.

If he is very unhappy then I think he should at least tell her what he has been doing with you and let her know he doesn't want to continue to live with his wife and to seperate. Seeing him more or less frequently isn't the right thing to do to fix this situation, but if he at least comes clean then I don't see why you can't continue to do what you are doing. It is quite unfair on his wife, even if she is truly terrible, and even more so his kids.

I hope you do the right thing OP, advise him well. I've been in a similar position before. Good luck.

Tbh, I think he should just divorce her, too, but at the same time, I know that it would irreversibly complicate his entire life. It's up to him I guess.
Reply 9
Original post by Professional G
So wait, you’re in a relationship yourself and you cheating with a married man?? Dude, just stop. It’s normal to get crushes but the important is to NOT pursue them

I know that. But I hate not getting what I want. So I always pursue them anyway. If I really want something, I will not stop until I have it. I was very spoiled as a child, maybe that's why. Eh.
Reply 10
Original post by CatalinaDeAragón
Oh my lord, stop with your promiscuous ways. You have a boyfriend already, so there's no way you can have an official thing with this married man without leaving your current partner who you seem to be totally dependent on for money and shelter.

I am obviously trying to stop.
Original post by Ciel.
I know that. But I hate not getting what I want. So I always pursue them anyway. If I really want something, I will not stop until I have it. I was very spoiled as a child, maybe that's why. Eh.


Think about yourself in your boyfriends shoes. How would you feel if you found out your partner was cheating on you regularly while you kept faithful and loyal? You will feel devastated right? One of the main rules of a relationship is to keep loyal, resisting temptations etc. If you want a casual relationship without the boundaries, seek friends with benefits however it means giving up the love and security of a normal relationship. It’s your choice.
Reply 12
Original post by Professional G
Think about yourself in your boyfriends shoes. How would you feel if you found out your partner was cheating on you regularly while you kept faithful and loyal? You will feel devastated right? One of the main rules of a relationship is to keep loyal, resisting temptations etc. If you want a casual relationship without the boundaries, seek friends with benefits however it means giving up the love and security of a normal relationship. It’s your choice.

I'm sure he cheats on me from time to time, too. Most people cheat.
Original post by Ciel.
I'm sure he cheats on me from time to time, too. Most people cheat.


So you want to comfort yourself by staying in a relationship with possible cheating? Plus most people don’t cheat. I mean having crushes isn’t cheating but acting on them kinda is. The many couples I know are loyal to each other. To the point, they refrain from getting drunk to avoid any chance of cheating.
Original post by Ciel.
I'm sure he cheats on me from time to time, too. Most people cheat.

just because you aint got no morals doesn't mean he does....but then again you're probably right, i mean if you think this way and he wanted you to be his girlfriend then he probably does too.
This has got to be the dumbest thread i've seen, the dude is married with KIDS, piss off.

The fact that you even ask this question shows you are pretty depraved, but it's 2018 and nothing fazes me anymore
Reply 16
Original post by Professional G
So you want to comfort yourself by staying in a relationship with possible cheating? Plus most people don’t cheat. I mean having crushes isn’t cheating but acting on them kinda is. The many couples I know are loyal to each other. To the point, they refrain from getting drunk to avoid any chance of cheating.

To be perfectly honest, I'd love to be in an open relationship, but he doesn't feel the same way. And I honestly doubt your friends' loyalty... Most people will cheat, given the chance. With a very good looking person, anyway.
Reply 17
Original post by Oruese
This has got to be the dumbest thread i've seen, the dude is married with KIDS, piss off.

The fact that you even ask this question shows you are pretty depraved, but it's 2018 and nothing fazes me anymore

It's not like he's hurting his kids in any way. Calm down.
Learn self control you spoiled freak
Reply 19
Original post by patry27
Learn self control you spoiled freak

Bye troll. I fall in love very easily. I can't help it. Sue me, lol.

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