don't want to leave mum on her own

so I'm 22 and still live at home. I'm an only child and my parents are currently in the middle of a messy breakup. they've been together since they were 17 but can no longer tolerate each other. me and my mum are moving out and living together but im really worried as I was planning to go away to uni next year but I don't want to leave her alone? she doesn't have many friends and im not even sure she can afford to live without me as she doesn't earn much. what do I do?!

Reply 1

cheesecakelove

20

Are you planning on moving away far for uni or staying close to home? Whilst it is understandable that you want to be there for your mum, you can't put your life on hold for her, and I am sure she would think the same too - your mum wants you to find happiness and achieve your goals in life. Does your mum work at the moment, and do you have other family who can help out?

You could also encourage your mum to try new things, e.g. hobbies or evening classes. This would help her to discover a new identity outside of her marriage, and what she likes and dislikes. It would also help her to socialise more and make friends.

Reply 2

Claire461

21

Original post by Anonymous

so I'm 22 and still live at home. I'm an only child and my parents are currently in the middle of a messy breakup. they've been together since they were 17 but can no longer tolerate each other. me and my mum are moving out and living together but im really worried as I was planning to go away to uni next year but I don't want to leave her alone? she doesn't have many friends and im not even sure she can afford to live without me as she doesn't earn much. what do I do?!

You have until next year for your Mum to improve her situation. When a couple have been together for a long time, their focus tends to be on themselves and they don’t always have the need for friends outside of their family. When I got divorced, I realised that the friends we had were my husband’s friends and not mine because I was a stay at home mum with a large family and my life was centred around my children. There follows a time of readjustment and that’s what your Mum will go through.
This is the time for her to readjust to being on her own without your Dad and then for her to build a life for herself so that when you go to university, she won’t feel so alone and you won’t worry about her. Try to broach the subject with her about doing activities outside the home so that she can meet new people.
It’s understandable that you don’t want to leave her on her own, but you need to move your life forward and so does she.

don't want to leave mum on her own

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