A guy who's too busy ..

So ive been dating this guy for 3 months. casual, and haven't seen each other much as we've been away and he's just so busy! he runs his own business 6 days a week.

Ive also got a busy career.

Things were great initially, effort made to text and make plans ( at some point).
He asked if I had gone on other dates.. I jokingly said yes one or two but didnt like them. he said he's not dating anyone else.

Lately, things have gotten distant, I think he thinks ill just be there and maybe taking me for granted, knowing ill see him eventually.

He takes days to text me back sometimes, and I do get that his phone is always blowing up with business.

I decided to try and make more effort because if one of us doesn't, this isn't going to work... but should I do this?

I just dont click with anyone else ive been on dates with, he's the first guy I actually want to spend time with for a very long time... but I feel like im not being a priority ( I dont need to be first - but somewhere in the middle or up there! )

after I brought up how we hardly speak in between dates, he said he will understand if I want to date other people, and he will take a hit, but said he thought I was cool about it as im also equally as busy. but that he likes me and would only rearrange plans for me.

And then, the next day after this conversation, I see he's changed up his online dating profile.

I just dont understand him ... I just dont know if I should carry on being so understanding ... or let him know that I do actually like him enough to make it work ( I feel like he might not know how I feel )

Thanks for any advice ..

I know that you think this guy is special and you have a connection. But you can - and will - have that with many people in the future. Hold onto that fact.

The reality is, that this guy is giving you the green light to go and find someone else. He has tried to distance himself from you, by not contacting you, but you have pursued him. Now, he is trying to be more explicit, but telling you that you can date other people. If he really wanted to be with you, he would not be encouraging you to see other people. As busy as he might be, he would be insisting that he wanted to be with you, and please don't see other people.

We all get busy from time to time. We are all negligent. If someone really cares for us though, they reply like this: "It's been insane. I'm sorry. I'll call you." And then they follow through and call and give us that time we deserve. This guy has done the reverse. No apology, and then telling you : go and be with other guys. You need to take him at his word, and go and date other guys. Turn the page. he is not deserving of you.

Yes I agree with you there - about how no matter how busy someone is, that they will insist to see you.

He is a different type of person; like he is always talking about future plans- like inviting me to new years etc, (which i initially found strange!) and he explained that he needs to be with someone who gets it, as that I do.

I didnt actually pursue him - ive never asked him on a date, its always been him, but albeit with long times in between. The effort ive made is ( not making a fuss when he doesnt reply to my text in days - i never send any more or call him, i just wait till he contacts me) and making the effort by travelling a bit further to meet. but thats it.
He keeps making jokes in almost a bitter way that I have been on 2 dates with other poeple whilst weve dated ... i thoight it was a joke, and kept it light hearted - but now hes suddenly using the app himself after our talk!

My question is - should i make more effort, and tell him that i do like him and dont want to date other people .. but i think reading what youve said just says exactly what my heart feels underneath it all..