The Student Room Group

Who is in the wrong? House mate problems

I moved something of my house mates to make more space told them asked if everything was ok and they said ‘yes thats fine xxx’. Then this house mate turns around and goes off on a mad one about it and I find out. I decide I’m not going to talk to this house mate for a while bc I dont know what else I might say/do might be made into a huge problem even though it really isnt. House mate is crying about me not talking to them and I say I dont like how everything was supposedly fine then I find out its not but I’m not angry just not wanting to talk. at this point I’m ready to move on as honestly its not a huge problem. House mate proceedes to act like I have commited one of the deadly sins for touching their stuff and seems to think its ok for them to cuss me out behind my back but when I ignore them I’m a rude person.

This honestly was never a big deal but house mate seems to want it to be and I dont feel I’m in the wrong lol what do you think?
Reply 1
What did you move?
If they tell you something is fine xxx and then get mad about it with other people, then they're being really dumb and pissy about it.

If you give them the silent treatment over the fact that they did that, then you're being dumb and pissy about it.

I don't think either of you are in the wrong, particularly. This is small stuff. But you could stand to have a straightforward, honest, mature conversation about the whole thing, like a pair of adults.
Reply 3
Original post by ThomH97
What did you move?

It was some grill waffle maker not really a kitchen necessity especially when we dont have much space and all we have out is the toaster and kettle everyone else keeps their personal belongings that wont be used on the daily in their boxes.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
It was some grill waffle maker not really a kitchen necessity especially when we dont have much space and all we have out is the toaster and kettle everyone else keeps their personal belongings that wont be used on the daily in their boxes.

Then they're in the wrong for getting grumpy about it, and you're in the wrong for giving them the silent treatment, and they're wrong for moaning behind your back. That's from hearing only your version of events though.
Reply 5
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
If they tell you something is fine xxx and then get mad about it with other people, then they're being really dumb and pissy about it.

If you give them the silent treatment over the fact that they did that, then you're being dumb and pissy about it.

I don't think either of you are in the wrong, particularly. This is small stuff. But you could stand to have a straightforward, honest, mature conversation about the whole thing, like a pair of adults.

Fair enough I tend to ignore people when they upset or anger me so I dont say something I dont mean as I have done so in the past. But when I told my side of the story and just recieve ‘you toched my stuff!’ (After they said it was ok!) ‘you ignored me! (After you cussed me out behind my back calling me all sorts of things and expect me not to be upset when I found out) I dont feel like talking any more. I didnt want to get into an argument as from talking to my other flat mate she wont listen to reason so I just left it and now she has declared that she wont talk to me again. Maybe I’ll try again another day as this really isnt a big problem but has been made into one.
Does it really matter who's in the right here?
REALLY?

'cause I'd be more interested in how to restore the relationship than jumping onto tsr to prove who's right or wrong and the fact that you're doing that speaks a lot to me about your character and you're intentions here does it not?
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
It was some grill waffle maker not really a kitchen necessity especially when we dont have much space and all we have out is the toaster and kettle everyone else keeps their personal belongings that wont be used on the daily in their boxes.


if they got pissy about MOVING something and not even you using it, it should be them questioning life and not you
They shouldn’t have got grumpy about you moving something. But as you’re stuck together, it’s probably a good idea to be the bigger person and apologise for what you got wrong to mend the relationship.

They might have had lots of other stress and taken it out on you (not a justifier, but a possible reason), or something else which made them overreact, if so, they’re ptobably not that mad and would be grateful for you to repair your relationship :smile:

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