just lost my cat - does it ever get better? Watch

rllife
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I had to put my ten month old kitten to sleep yesterday, he was very sick and had a multitude of congenital things wrong with him. I feel like my heart has been broken and I don't know how to deal with this or what to do. To add to the sadness, my other cat (2yrs) is wondering around the house, pining for him and I don't know how to help him - is anyone going through this with a pet or has recently? I'm sick of burdening my friends with the topic
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Parker Tracy
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(Original post by rllife)
I had to put my ten month old kitten to sleep yesterday, he was very sick and had a multitude of congenital things wrong with him. I feel like my heart has been broken and I don't know how to deal with this or what to do. To add to the sadness, my other cat (2yrs) is wondering around the house, pining for him and I don't know how to help him - is anyone going through this with a pet or has recently? I'm sick of burdening my friends with the topic
I'm sorry. This is horrible. I lost a cat some years ago. I adopted Roger from a shelter when he was 8, and I had to have him put to sleep when he was 10 due to a huge tumour. I was incredibly upset at the time, and like you, felt that nobody understood and that I would never feel the same again.

A friend of mine persuaded me to get another cat. At first I felt this would be really disloyal, until she persuaded me that not giving a cat who needed a home was very selfish. I'd given Roger a home when he'd needed it, and I came to realise that the best way of honouring him, would be to help another cat.

Given you already have an adult cat, then getting a kitten will probably be the way forward. Go to the RSPCA or Bluecross, or the Cat protection league rather than buying a cat online. That way, you will know exactly what you are getting, and you will also be taking on an animal that really needs a loving home.

Your new kitty will never be a replacement for the cat you lost. I got two cats from a shelter after Roger died. They are wonderful friends, but as you know, each cat has his/her own character, just like human friends. You will always love your kitty, and feel sad, but a new kitten really will help you to feel less sad. That doesn't mean you are disloyal. It just means you love cats!
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rllife
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(Original post by LiyoS)
I'm sorry. This is horrible. I lost a cat some years ago. I adopted Roger from a shelter when he was 8, and I had to have him put to sleep when he was 10 due to a huge tumour. I was incredibly upset at the time, and like you, felt that nobody understood and that I would never feel the same again.

A friend of mine persuaded me to get another cat. At first I felt this would be really disloyal, until she persuaded me that not giving a cat who needed a home was very selfish. I'd given Roger a home when he'd needed it, and I came to realise that the best way of honouring him, would be to help another cat.

Given you already have an adult cat, then getting a kitten will probably be the way forward. Go to the RSPCA or Bluecross, or the Cat protection league rather than buying a cat online. That way, you will know exactly what you are getting, and you will also be taking on an animal that really needs a loving home.

Your new kitty will never be a replacement for the cat you lost. I got two cats from a shelter after Roger died. They are wonderful friends, but as you know, each cat has his/her own character, just like human friends. You will always love your kitty, and feel sad, but a new kitten really will help you to feel less sad. That doesn't mean you are disloyal. It just means you love cats!
Thank you, your response has really helped me. So sorry for the loss of your little fluffball, it's truly devestating and I don't think people realise how horrid it feels until they've gone through it themselves.

I still live with my mum and Mike (kitten that we lost) and our older cat (Chris) are shared between us. The first reaction after the shock had wore off a little was I absolutely would love another cat and I couldn't help but feel guilty about it? you are right though, I know for a fact Chris would only take to a kitten - I'd happily take on an older cat but I know it wouldn't be fair on him.

We have discussed maybe later next year adopting from our local rspca as we, like you with your little one feel the best way to honour him and his short life is to adopt another kitten needing a home and give it the best life possible. Honestly, before reading your reply I felt awful for this and was really conscious of sounding disloyal or mean for even so much as considering another. To move fully move forward, I think that it is what I want - it is also a companion for our Chris. I really hope the sadness subsides a little in the coming weeks especially with christmas coming and all. I woke up today feeling more accepting of the situation, Mikey was here for a good time, not a long time but we gave him the fullest life we could. Thanks again for your response, it's nice to be understood x
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Parker Tracy
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(Original post by rllife)
Thank you, your response has really helped me. So sorry for the loss of your little fluffball, it's truly devestating and I don't think people realise how horrid it feels until they've gone through it themselves.

I still live with my mum and Mike (kitten that we lost) and our older cat (Chris) are shared between us. The first reaction after the shock had wore off a little was I absolutely would love another cat and I couldn't help but feel guilty about it? you are right though, I know for a fact Chris would only take to a kitten - I'd happily take on an older cat but I know it wouldn't be fair on him.

We have discussed maybe later next year adopting from our local rspca as we, like you with your little one feel the best way to honour him and his short life is to adopt another kitten needing a home and give it the best life possible. Honestly, before reading your reply I felt awful for this and was really conscious of sounding disloyal or mean for even so much as considering another. To move fully move forward, I think that it is what I want - it is also a companion for our Chris. I really hope the sadness subsides a little in the coming weeks especially with christmas coming and all. I woke up today feeling more accepting of the situation, Mikey was here for a good time, not a long time but we gave him the fullest life we could. Thanks again for your response, it's nice to be understood x
You are very welcome. What you are feeling is not disloyalty. Mike was a big part of your life - even although you had him for a short while. He has left a cat-shaped hole in your life. Wanting to fill that is not a betrayal of Mike, it is a testimony to how great a cat Mike was, that you feel you want to adopt another cat.

It sounds to me like you are being very responsible, wanting to get a kitten that Chris will accept. And willing to wait until you can get one from the RSPCA. Try and look forward to that. Enjoy the cat you have, and don't be afraid to feel upset/cry over your loss, that's perfectly natural. Try not to dwell though, and fill your time up instead with things that you enjoy. Best wishes, and chin up!
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