Telling Narcissistic Parent I'm going to University

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username4352674
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Hi guys, for anyone who has a narcissistic parent, what's your experience telling them you're going to university? In terms of leaving home, not getting a job (my father wants me to get a full time job so that I can pay for the house- he doesn't have a job) and following your ambitions. Narcissists care only for themselves and I imagine they'd make your life hell at the prospect of escaping them? I need to tell my father but I'm terrified he'll make the next nine months hell, for me and my brothers.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Musoyami)
Hi guys, for anyone who has a narcissistic parent, what's your experience telling them you're going to university? In terms of leaving home, not getting a job (my father wants me to get a full time job so that I can pay for the house- he doesn't have a job) and following your ambitions. Narcissists care only for themselves and I imagine they'd make your life hell at the prospect of escaping them? I need to tell my father but I'm terrified he'll make the next nine months hell, for me and my brothers.
Whats the family situation like? Mother siblings etc?
Financials no money?
Are you working?
What course are you aiming for and what are your predicted grades?
Is there any community backlash if you go to uni?
Are you prepared to leave home and not go back?
Is he likely to leave you in peace to sit your exams?

You arent the first with poor non supportive parents.

If you apply without financials, then you can get min grant which is unlikely to be enough.
I have the feeling he will be against you going so wont co operate with sfe.
In that case you might want to start making contact with stand-alone a charity for estranged children and see what you need to do to prove estrangement.
It may involve contact with social services , so a social worker can support your SFE application.
If you managed that you could get a full grant and uni is a lot more feasible.
You may need to consider if you want to return home or stay at uni.
You can always get the best A levels possible and then take a gap to save money..

https://www.standalone.org.uk/students/

0. Childline 0800 1111
1. Samaritans 116 123
2. https://kooth.com/ Online counselling
3. The Mix. 0808 808 4994. Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm. webchat Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm, and Saturday from 8pm to 11pm.

If you are smart you can plan it without him knowing or needing him which should put you in control.
At the centre of it all though is passing your A levels with the best grades possible.
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username4352674
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The family situation is... complicated to say the least. My mother passed away a few years ago and I'm all but cut off from most of both families, cos of my dad. I'm looking for work at the moment. I'm aiming to do a Music BA and I did my A Levels and a BTEC a few years ago so I've already got the qualifications. It's just my dad who will go nuts when he finds out and I know I'll be out of here soon but I'm just afraid of his treatment of me and my brothers over the next 9 months when he finds out, mostly as I'm leaving home to get accommodation. For now I've told him I'm considering my own city to get his co-operation which seems to be working.
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