'Friend' calling me fat.

I don't know if im overreacting about this but it's upsetting me and making me paranoid so i thought i'd beg an opinion from you lovely lot.

I'm a girl, im in my second year of uni, i wouldn't say i was obese but i weigh about 12 stone, not flabby but im not a skinny girl - a waist of 32", chest is 32e, hmmmmm.

Nehu, i have this 'freind' we've known each other since first year, he can be a bit of a t*at but i can generally give as good as i get and i think he sees me as 'one of the guys' and thinks i can take it so we've always had a banterous relationship.

However, more and mroe recently he's become really harsh, making a LOT of comments about my weight, today he wrote on my facebook wall "shut up you d*ckhead, you're *****ing fat and you have a saggy arse", we went out last night with some mutual friends and my housemate and he was going on about how fit she looked as she's lost some weight and he spent the entire evening saying i was fat and *****ing ugly, blah blah, noone would want to sleep with me etc etc, it's sad because i try to hide that im hurt because if i show any emotion it gets worse, when i met him the other day he did say "have you lost a bit of weight because last term you were getting *****ing fat?" - that is a compliment from him.

the thing is, he only does it to me and its getting worse. I dont understanf though really because in the first year he was being really inappropriately flirty with me via text (even though he has a girlfirend) so i cant have been that bad (however i have got bigger since then which he likes to point out.

:frown:

I've been going to the gym - i was going for 2 hours every day! Im also really trying to eat more healthily. I have REALLY low self esteem (for a while a few years ago if i ever ate food not at meal times id make myself sick), split up with my boyfriend of 3 years and im stressed with uni work, im also on anti - depressants which ive heard can make you gain weight (is this true?)

what do i do, im getting really paranoid, i feel like a right heffer..

thanks lovelies, sorry for the massive post. xx

Reply 1

Twinkelidoo

You call this a friend?

Reply 2

20083

2

Just reply "Ah, but I can lose weight - you'll always be ugly :wink:

"

Reply 3

neon

13

eat him...that'll show him

Reply 4

Ilora-Danon

3

He's not a friend. He's a piece of work.
Get rid girl, get rid.

Reply 5

lolimemma

15

Just be like "i can get skinny, you can never change the size of that miserable excuse for a wang", if you normally have banter with him then just give something equally as harsh back!

Other than that, if he's a really good friend talk to him about how much he's upsetting you. He should be able to understand that.

Reply 6

*pitseleh*

20

Oddly enough, I've seen guys act like this sometimes towards one of my friends, and it's often transpired that it's because they like her. So it could be that... or he could just be an unpleasant person in general.

If I were you, I'd point out that he was being hurtful; though to be truthful, he shouldn't need to have it pointed out to him, as I think most people would be aware that it's not acceptable to speak to their 'friends' - or anyone else for that matter - like that. If he makes an effort to change, fine; if he doesn't, I wouldn't waste my time with the guy. Doesn't sound like much of a friend at all, from what you've said so far.

Reply 7

The Black Chuck Norris

10

Definitely need to slap the **** out of this guy

Reply 8

L i b

19

My friends call me fat when I was back home over Xmas and had developed a bit of a stomach from the previous weeks of festive excess.

It didn't bother me, why should it bother you?

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Anti-depressants can lead to weight gain (it depends on what sort you're taking), but the stress and low self esteem can also cause your body to go into a 'shock' mode, where it will hold on to unwanted fat.

If he's upsetting you, it might be best to avoid him for a little while. The name calling will damage your self esteem (whether you try to brush it off or not), so avoiding him might help you to start feeling better about yourself since you aren't being made fun of all the time.

Reply 10

mollymustard

14

He sounds like a complete idiot!
I know a guy who acts pretty similar to one of my mates, and I know its because hes actually really insecure.

Just keep rising above the comments, and don't show your hurt.
12 stone with a 22inch waist is not at all fat in my opinion...

Reply 11

t_ucd

Why are you still friends with him? I disagree with some of the above posters - it doesn't sound like retaliating will do any good since the banter between you is what led to this in the first place. If it was I'd just outright get rid of him, he sounds horrible and no-one calling himself a friend would speak to you like that.

Reply 12

Ginger_Rogers

7

neon raver

eat him...that'll show him

I lolled.

Reply 13

neon

13

Ginger_Rogers

I lolled.

:hump:

too early?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

L i b

My friends call me fat when I was back home over Xmas and had developed a bit of a stomach from the previous weeks of festive excess.

It didn't bother me, why should it bother you?

because i have low self esteem, because it makes me feel unwanted and rejected, because i did put on weight when i got to uni, because i've been trying so hard to lose weight, because its not only insults about my weight, because he only does it to me, because i feel like a failure, because i hate people not liking me and oddly enough i feel like a letdown, because i've just split up with my boyfriend of three years, because its spiteful, because im depressed, because i want to feel confident and attractive...

the list goes on.

why, you think this is an overreaction?

plus i imagine your friends said it in a teasing way, not in a - 'you're ****ing fat, which in my eyes makes you a worthless piece of *****' kind of way

sit on him

OP

Ginger_Rogers

I lolled.

haha ditto :rolleyes:

im not sure he'd taste nice - very bitter.

i guess the thing is i want to know why he's saying it, being insecure makes you really worry about what people think of you.