Is this right? I need advice with my relationship

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I’m still very confused with my relationship. This is my first relationship and I’m literally being the best boyfriend I could be, I know this because every is telling me (other than my GF)! I don’t really know what to do because we’re both at different stages in the ‘love ladder’. I feel like she could go a solid month without seeing me whereas I miss her even after a day of not seeing her. We don’t see each other a lot anyway and there is time for us to be able to, however I’m the only one who’s willing to use that time. I am massively attracted towards her but I can tell that she’s not the same, which is concerning because you would kind of expect to be physically attracted with your partner. Whenever I try and flirt with her or even compliment her she’s either: oblivious to it, doesn’t play along or just completely puts it off. When we see each other I always go in for a kiss and she just goes for a hug. One minute she’ll say that she adores me or will platonically say ‘love you/LY’ but never actually shows it. She doesn’t believe me whenever I show some sort of affection towards her and it proper knocks my confidence. She just doesn’t act like I thought a girlfriend would I.e shows affection, shows they care, wants to see/talk to you, etc.

Can someone please give me some advice? Is this what a girl/girlfriend is like in the first couple of months? Ask whatever you need to know. Thanks
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UWS
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#2
Report 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m still very confused with my relationship. This is my first relationship and I’m literally being the best boyfriend I could be, I know this because every is telling me (other than my GF)! I don’t really know what to do because we’re both at different stages in the ‘love ladder’. I feel like she could go a solid month without seeing me whereas I miss her even after a day of not seeing her. We don’t see each other a lot anyway and there is time for us to be able to, however I’m the only one who’s willing to use that time. I am massively attracted towards her but I can tell that she’s not the same, which is concerning because you would kind of expect to be physically attracted with your partner. Whenever I try and flirt with her or even compliment her she’s either: oblivious to it, doesn’t play along or just completely puts it off. When we see each other I always go in for a kiss and she just goes for a hug. One minute she’ll say that she adores me or will platonically say ‘love you/LY’ but never actually shows it. She doesn’t believe me whenever I show some sort of affection towards her and it proper knocks my confidence. She just doesn’t act like I thought a girlfriend would I.e shows affection, shows they care, wants to see/talk to you, etc.

Can someone please give me some advice? Is this what a girl/girlfriend is like in the first couple of months? Ask whatever you need to know. Thanks
The first few months of a relationship is the honeymoon phase and in that time you're usually inseparable and showing a lot of affection. Perhaps she's just shy.

Next time she refuses a kiss, just ask her nicely if she's not comfortable with that yet.
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m still very confused with my relationship. This is my first relationship and I’m literally being the best boyfriend I could be, I know this because every is telling me (other than my GF)! I don’t really know what to do because we’re both at different stages in the ‘love ladder’. I feel like she could go a solid month without seeing me whereas I miss her even after a day of not seeing her. We don’t see each other a lot anyway and there is time for us to be able to, however I’m the only one who’s willing to use that time. I am massively attracted towards her but I can tell that she’s not the same, which is concerning because you would kind of expect to be physically attracted with your partner. Whenever I try and flirt with her or even compliment her she’s either: oblivious to it, doesn’t play along or just completely puts it off. When we see each other I always go in for a kiss and she just goes for a hug. One minute she’ll say that she adores me or will platonically say ‘love you/LY’ but never actually shows it. She doesn’t believe me whenever I show some sort of affection towards her and it proper knocks my confidence. She just doesn’t act like I thought a girlfriend would I.e shows affection, shows they care, wants to see/talk to you, etc.

Can someone please give me some advice? Is this what a girl/girlfriend is like in the first couple of months? Ask whatever you need to know. Thanks
Are you her first boyfriend? Flirting or kissing just might take some time for her to get used to. Different people show their affection in different ways. Not wanting to spend time with you, however, seems strange to me.
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999tigger
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Report 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m still very confused with my relationship. This is my first relationship and I’m literally being the best boyfriend I could be, I know this because every is telling me (other than my GF)! I don’t really know what to do because we’re both at different stages in the ‘love ladder’. I feel like she could go a solid month without seeing me whereas I miss her even after a day of not seeing her. We don’t see each other a lot anyway and there is time for us to be able to, however I’m the only one who’s willing to use that time. I am massively attracted towards her but I can tell that she’s not the same, which is concerning because you would kind of expect to be physically attracted with your partner. Whenever I try and flirt with her or even compliment her she’s either: oblivious to it, doesn’t play along or just completely puts it off. When we see each other I always go in for a kiss and she just goes for a hug. One minute she’ll say that she adores me or will platonically say ‘love you/LY’ but never actually shows it. She doesn’t believe me whenever I show some sort of affection towards her and it proper knocks my confidence. She just doesn’t act like I thought a girlfriend would I.e shows affection, shows they care, wants to see/talk to you, etc.

Can someone please give me some advice? Is this what a girl/girlfriend is like in the first couple of months? Ask whatever you need to know. Thanks
People are not all the same.
Some people are more reserved, more independent and less demonstrative than others.
It could be this

Perhaps she feels you are trying too hard and she feels all this mentions of love is too soon. You barely know her.
She doesnt just act like what your notion of a gf should? That is different.

There is ofc the chance that she just isnt that into you. Relationships end.
Be a friend, dont try so hard and talk to her. It may be its not going to happen or you need to take things slower.
Maybe shes just as inexperienced as you?

Its all experience.
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ZombieTheWolf
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You need to tell her how you feel, we can all take guesses as to why or why not she acts this way but the only way is to get a truthful answer from her. Since this is your first relationship, it is important for you to know how big a role communication plays in maintaining a happy and stable relationship.
Please just tell her how you feel, ask her why she is the way she is perhaps it is as harmless as shyness or as serious as not wanting you back. You just need to be honest, and you need to be sure she is too.
Last edited by ZombieTheWolf; 1 year ago
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by UWS)
The first few months of a relationship is the honeymoon phase and in that time you're usually inseparable and showing a lot of affection. Perhaps she's just shy.

Next time she refuses a kiss, just ask her nicely if she's not comfortable with that yet.
I don’t think she in that honeymoon phase yet, while I am. Yeah she is shy, sometimes she’s dead shy about things but then other times she’s not. Also, thanks for your suggestion, it’s helpful!
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