Why do some kids/adults abandon their parents?????

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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Ok before you attack me, this is just a general question out of curiosity.

Coming from an Asian background we tend to support or parents etc. However, when I look at white old people, most of their kids are living their own life whilst their parents are left in care homes or just alone. Yes I understand circumstances where you may have to put your parents in care home because f certain things, but overall WHY DO SOME WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?????????????

#dontgettriggered
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CoolCavy
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Don't lump us all together thank you. My parent was devastated when her parent died four years ago, ever since then I have been looking out for her so much as she has nobody else and will continue to do so as long as both of us are alive.
I look after her and care about her because she is my best friend not because we are blood, my father is abusive and horrible why should I spend one ounce of my time looking after him.
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LeenaB647
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok before you attack me, this is just a general question out of curiosity.

Coming from an Asian background we tend to support or parents etc. However, when I look at white old people, most of their kids are living their own life whilst their parents are left in care homes or just alone. Yes I understand circumstances where you may have to put your parents in care home because f certain things, but overall WHY DO WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?????????????

#dontgettriggered
Yeesh, maybe this wasn’t the best thing to title your post lmao.
I am also Asian and honestly I don’t know. I know that if my parents were ill, I would without hesitation pay for them to live in a place where they would be looked after better than I ever could.
It’s just how things are for different backgrounds yknow
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gjd800
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I come from Irish stock. We stick it out together not matter how ****e it gets. Just how it is.
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Zasty
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Because cultures are different.
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ShawnRMN83
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Haha! Slightly dramatic and just a tad exagerated.

My parents are OK and I’ve not left them to die... yet 😂

No seriously it’s an interesting question about the differences between cultures in terms of their ideas and expectations of care for older family members.

I think some of it comes from the belief that the state, which people pay a lot of tax to, should be ultimately responsible for older people’s services. If you look around at other counties, many, such as India, don’t have this and the expectation is that a family is responsible for the care.

Another is working families. In many cultures women are expected to be stay at home carers. In the UK especially, most families cannot afford that luxury, so most mothers in families are at work. Working full time does not lend itself to being about to care as well as full time work.

Then there is the make up of family units. Many families, especially asian ones, live in multi-generational homes. This is not the norm in the west, where families live very separate lives in their own buildings. The idea of granny and grandpa living with mum and dad and the kids, that’s rather alien to most white western families.

House prices are a big factor too. Most people can not afford to live near their birth places. In fact I know of only a couple of people who still live within a 10 mile radius of their parents. My grandmother lived in Henley on Themes. I couldn’t have afforded a shed there, let alone a house. This is the number one cause of family separation in the UK. It’s hard to care for older family members who live 3 hours drive away because you have been priced so far away. If you look at Asian families in contrast, they tend to buy houses in cheap areas and all the families buy in the same street or area. Cheaper housing makes this set up affordable for young family members to be able to continue to live close to parents, aunts, cousins etc. This is why in places like Blackburn Lancashire you end up with Asian neighbourhoods and white ones.

There will be so many more reasons I’ve missed, but these were the obvious ones that popped into my head
Last edited by ShawnRMN83; 1 year ago
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Anonymous #2
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Hiya,
I can't see the answers that have been wrote already (really need to figure out how to use this new phone 😅).
I'm not sure how you think this question would be received but I'm guessing that you are aware that it is a bit offensive as you are asking people not to get mad. My first reaction to it was, "eeek, this is a bit racist". Or, perhaps you are just aren't familiar with the culture of, "white kids".
Unfortunately, There are many offensive, unfair and untrue stereotypical views of Asian families for example, honour killings, forced marriages, FGM, grooming etc are all prevalent in an Asian family (which is obviously untrue and is not the norm but the exception).
I feel your question is akin to someone asking why all Asain Fathers kill/beat/disown their daughters of they don't marry who they are told to.
I also think that the end of your post, "WHY DO WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?" is quite inflammatory and really quite hurtful.
Does this make sense?
Xx
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Tiger Rag
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My mum looked after her father right up until he died. Oh, and that was after working the previous 12 hours.
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Claire461
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(Original post by gjd800)
I come from Irish stock. We stick it out together not matter how ****e it gets. Just how it is.
My parents came from Irish stock. I was abandoned at birth, a foundling baby in 1948. I had 15 siblings. Never met my parents or my siblings.

But I’ve told my kids if they put me in a home, I will come back and haunt them.
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username3973192
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok before you attack me, this is just a general question out of curiosity.

Coming from an Asian background we tend to support or parents etc. However, when I look at white old people, most of their kids are living their own life whilst their parents are left in care homes or just alone. Yes I understand circumstances where you may have to put your parents in care home because f certain things, but overall WHY DO WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?????????????

#dontgettriggered
That's kind of true from what I have seen, but remember not all of them do that
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username3973192
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hiya,
I can't see the answers that have been wrote already (really need to figure out how to use this new phone 😅).
I'm not sure how you think this question would be received but I'm guessing that you are aware that it is a bit offensive as you are asking people not to get mad. My first reaction to it was, "eeek, this is a bit racist". Or, perhaps you are just aren't familiar with the culture of, "white kids".
Unfortunately, There are many offensive, unfair and untrue stereotypical views of Asian families for example, honour killings, forced marriages, FGM, grooming etc are all prevalent in an Asian family (which is obviously untrue and is not the norm but the exception).
I feel your question is akin to someone asking why all Asain Fathers kill/beat/disown their daughters of they don't marry who they are told to.
I also think that the end of your post, "WHY DO WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?" is quite inflammatory and really quite hurtful.
Does this make sense?
Xx
Totally agree with your point
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Wooord
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Tbh although this is true for some white people, you could have said it in a more civilized manner lmao
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Tiger Rag
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What's the option when you can't look after them yourself? I have a friend whose late mother was in a care home. Him and wife are both in their 70s with their own health problems.

Sometimes, it is the better option for all involved.
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Andrew97
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For **** sake. Mods, could you get the title changed?

We all know that if I wrote this about black people I would be banned within the hour.
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Claire461
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(Original post by Andrew97)For **** sake. Mods, could you get the title changed?

We all know that if I wrote this about black people I would be banned within the hour.
Dont get why it’s anon either.
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Claire461
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok before you attack me, this is just a general question out of curiosity.

Coming from an Asian background we tend to support or parents etc. However, when I look at white old people, most of their kids are living their own life whilst their parents are left in care homes or just alone. Yes I understand circumstances where you may have to put your parents in care home because f certain things, but overall WHY DO WHITE KIDS LEAVE THEIR PARENTS TO DIE?????????????

#dontgettriggered
Don’t understand why you are anon.
So, if I start a thread asking why all Asian parents kill their kids because they won’t go into a forced/arranged marriage, and if they refuse, they are killed by their parents or other family members.
If I asked why all Asian men were paedophiles and child molesters, you wouldn’t have a problem with that?
Who the hell do you think you are?
Clean up your own *****y doorstep before you start criticising other people’s.
Last edited by Claire461; 1 year ago
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Megxn0
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(Original post by Seamus123)
Don’t understand why you are anon.
So, if I start a thread asking why all Asian parents kill their kids because they won’t go into a forced/arranged marriage, and if they refuse, they are killed by their parents or other family members.
If I asked why all Asian men were paedophiles and child molesters, you wouldn’t have a problem with that?
Who the hell do you think you are?
Clean up your own *****y doorstep before you start criticising other people’s.
Actually, I’ve already seen many comments from you clumping together Asians. Although the OP could have put it better, they still have a point. The difference is, the things you mentioned here about Asians, are already massively looked down upon by other Asians and everyone else. Where as English people leaving their parents is incredibly common, and sometimes encouraged (I’ve seen this myself). Not all white people, of course, we already know this.
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Andrew97
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(Original post by Megxn0)
Actually, I’ve already seen many comments from you clumping together Asians. Although the OP could have put it better, they still have a point. The difference is, the things you mentioned here about Asians, are already massively looked down upon by other Asians and everyone else. Where as English people leaving their parents is incredibly common, and sometimes encouraged (I’ve seen this myself). Not all white people, of course, we already know this.
Nobody wants to put their parents in a care-home, it is an incredibly difficult decision based on the fact that you feel you cannot care for them as well as professionals. How dare the OP say that this is abandoning the parents.

Also, lumping together 87% of the population offends people.
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Megxn0
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(Original post by Andrew97)
Nobody wants to put their parents in a care-home, it is an incredibly difficult decision based on the fact that you feel you cannot care for them as well as professionals. How dare the OP say that this is abandoning the parents.

Also, lumping together 87% of the population offends people.
Our favorite phrase nowadays is “facts don’t care about your feelings”. Unfortunately, people don’t care if they are offensive.
I never said it was a easy decision, of course it’s incredibly difficult. But other cultures do it, it’s harder to put a loved one in care than to looks after them. So many old people suffer from loneliness, there are so many documentaries on this, I just can’t help but notice that they were all white, apart from one black person because they never had kids.
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kazzykat95
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definitely a troll
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