not so innocent flirting

Anon as my boyfriend is on here

I kissed another guy (feel free to flame away). I told my boyfriend and hes forgiven me but due to the nature of our social group I cant help but be in contact with him.

I love my boyfriend. Hes always really supportive and generally a great person to be with, everyone thinks we are the perfect couple. Unfortunately this does not prevent me having feelings for the other guy as well. I cant get him out of my head to the point that he even invades my dreams. Its an infatuation that will not go away despite the clear knowledge that even in different circumstances he wouldn't be good for me. As a couple we would feed off each other in ways that would be utterly unhealthy and make for an extremely volatile relationship. I'm also (perhaps unfairly) angry at him for being equally infatuated with me.

The chemistry is so intense and I catch myself flirting a lot more than is appropriate. No matter how innocent or mundane the topic of conversation there is always that edge of flirtatious banter. Most of the time i don't even realise I'm doing it but my closer friends (who hate the guy) have stated their concern.

I'm far too old to be having my first crush, how do I get over it?

Reply 1

dh00001

16

well who do you really want. boyfriend or this other guy?

Reply 2

Ice_Queen

17

Bleh, it happens. Time to choose. Boyfriend, crush, or singledom. Don't hang in the middle.

Reply 3

$loth

1

Ice_Queen

Bleh, it happens. Time to choose. Boyfriend, crush, or singledom. Don't hang in the middle.

Short, sharp, too the point and I agree.

Reply 4

cutandpasteandtwisty

11

Anonymous

Anon as my boyfriend is on here

I kissed another guy (feel free to flame away). I told my boyfriend and hes forgiven me but due to the nature of our social group I cant help but be in contact with him.

I love my boyfriend. Hes always really supportive and generally a great person to be with, everyone thinks we are the perfect couple. Unfortunately this does not prevent me having feelings for the other guy as well. I cant get him out of my head to the point that he even invades my dreams. Its an infatuation that will not go away despite the clear knowledge that even in different circumstances he wouldn't be good for me. As a couple we would feed off each other in ways that would be utterly unhealthy and make for an extremely volatile relationship. I'm also (perhaps unfairly) angry at him for being equally infatuated with me.

The chemistry is so intense and I catch myself flirting a lot more than is appropriate. No matter how innocent or mundane the topic of conversation there is always that edge of flirtatious banter. Most of the time i don't even realise I'm doing it but my closer friends (who hate the guy) have stated their concern.

I'm far too old to be having my first crush, how do I get over it?

Go for the other guy - it's clear you want him. You only live once etc.

Reply 5

lastyear@uni

Have to agree - if you kissed a guy once and it was a mistake then that's fine - your relationship may be reparable. But if you kissed a guy and now he's all you can think about and worse you're flirting so it's obvious to everyone then you're just gonna be crushing your boyfriend. Sure if you dump him for the other guy some people will call you a bitch - but then if you're just thrusting your infatuation in front of his face then people probably already are...

Reply 6

Hel

Well, do you think it's worth sacrificing an established loving relationship for the sake of some guy you lust after but know is bad for you? Stick with your boyfriend.

But you already know that, and since the question you really asked was how to get over this new guy... I think it would be a good idea to do something special with your boyfriend, whether that's having a romantic evening out, a weekend away, spicing things up in the bedroom, or just spending some quality time alone with him - or all of the above! Really remind yourself of why you love him, and how foolish it would be to lose him for the sake of what would be a tempestuous and ultimately damaging fling. Think about what it was when you were looking for when you kissed the other guy - romance, excitement, what? - and then try to rediscover it in your current relationship.

And although you said you can't avoid being around this other guy, it is worth trying to minimise your contact with him, at least until the raging hormones cool down. It would also be a good idea to make it very clear to him that you want things to stay platonic, and maybe even encourage him to find another girl to turn his attentions to.

Kudos to you for not being blinded by the crush and recognising that it makes sense to stay with your boyfriend.

Reply 7

Megannnx

You need to make a decision.
You either choose to be with your boyfriend, and learn the limits when your with all other guys,
or you explain to both of them whats been happening, they'll appreciate the honesty, and its always better to walk away from these situations with the same amount of mates ! :smile:

Reply 8

Burnio

Have sex with the other guy, once you have done that you will forget about him.

That's all it is, sexual attraction/tension. If you want ask your boyfriend for a threesome.

not so innocent flirting

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