(Original post by Anonymous)
That is true! Also, I have heard it's wrong to have girls (I don't know about boys) unmarried for too long, it becomes a sin for the parents
which I don't want in sha allah. But money comes in the way of everything nowadays D: You need income and start your own life as well as standing on your own feet.
AFAIK It only becomes a sin when you are in a position where you are able to get married but choose not to. If you can't get married because of the reasons you stated (such as not being financially stable, or can't find a suitable spouse) then I don't think it's a sin, as long as you're actively trying and do have the intention of marriage.
That sounds scary. I was searching for myself and thats why I am scared cause guys in general are going to be lovely at the beginning but once you know them its different. Same way how girls are to be honest.
Just being with someone you have never met in your life, don't know what they are like, how they are like - scares me.
'There never is certainty.' - That is what scares me and probably most people cause shaytan loves divorce, breakups etc. How do I find a person that will be suitable for me? Am I able to spend time with him with family/friends to see what he is like or is that haram?
People assume that if it's an arranged marriage then you will know nothing about the person, but that's not true if done right. Whether you find someone of your own accord or have your parents find someone for you, there will be time for you to get to know the person they are so that you know what they are like.
Obviously you'd have someone with you at the time but it's not like you can't talk and get to know them. End of the day, they are the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with and raise children with insha'Allah.
The reason some parents are a bit more "urgent" with their daughters to get married is to prevent them from going down a sinful route, they feel like the longer they leave a girl unmarried the more likely she is to be tempted, so they would rather it done sooner than later because of the society we live in.
I honestly wouldn't worry about your own finances, if you're with a guy they're the one that's going to have to provide for you, so even if you don't like spending his money at the start of the marriage it will only be a few years until you empty his bank account and then some.
I know plenty of people that get married and while they're young, they live with the guys parents while they save up for a house in the future. It's probably the best way to go about things considering how house prices are now days, not to mention it allows for a lot more stability both financially and marriage wise.
Consider doing Tahajjud maybe?