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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That is true! Also, I have heard it's wrong to have girls (I don't know about boys) unmarried for too long, it becomes a sin for the parents which I don't want in sha allah. But money comes in the way of everything nowadays D: You need income and start your own life as well as standing on your own feet.
    LOL where did you hear that?

    Parents are encouraged to get their children married as soon as they can because the longer you go unmarried, the more chance of you committing zina. That is all. There's no sin for the parents, they are just encouraged to protect you from the Hellfire.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The guy has to provide yes, but doesn't mean girls can't. The guy has more responsibility over their partners though obv, its the same in the 21st century lol.
    Western society has moved on from the sexist concept of men being the protectors of women. The modern couple today both are working professionals and share responsibilities. It’s sad that you have been brainwashed into thinking you are some helpless doll that needs a man to look after you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just being with someone you have never met in your life, don't know what they are like, how they are like - scares me.
    'There never is certainty.' - That is what scares me and probably most people cause shaytan loves divorce, breakups etc. How do I find a person that will be suitable for me? Am I able to spend time with him with family/friends to see what he is like or is that haram?
    As SRouf mentioned, of course you're allowed to spend time with him (as long as there is a mahram present). There is absolutely nothing to fear, I've had two of my sisters married with arranged marriages, and my eldest sister now has two sons, and honestly my first brother-in-law is definitely one of the most amazing men I've ever met. My second sister very recently got married, so I'm getting to know my new brother-in-law slowly, he's a bit quiet but he's still very nice.

    If I do go down the arranged marriage route (it's not actually my preference but I don't have anything against it), then I will personally make sure to invite her close brothers/sisters and my sisters and brother-in-laws to a restaurant and have a nice time. That way, the whole family can get to know each other.
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    (Original post by GymAkhi)
    It's 2018 and I'm posting on the 5th of December. Don't see how I'm not in the 21st century?

    Clown.
    You're calling someone else a clown when you're going to marry someone you never met?
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    (Original post by GymAkhi)
    It's 2018 and I'm posting on the 5th of December. Don't see how I'm not in the 21st century?

    Clown.
    I’m the clown? Ok then.....
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    I'm 23M bengali, I try not to think about it too much even though my parents bring it up all the time lol
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    Not to mention the money you'll need to have saved for the actual wedding. There's a lot of money involved, unless both families agree that you want to keep it minimal. I hope you've saved money throughout your life.
    No I am unemployed which I have mentioned. I believe that I need to get a job then get married, as it would work out financially for my future husband and myself.
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    LOL where did you hear that?

    Parents are encouraged to get their children married as soon as they can because the longer you go unmarried, the more chance of you committing zina. That is all. There's no sin for the parents, they are just encouraged to protect you from the Hellfire.
    I just heard that from many muslims out there, but I wasn't sure if it was true or not. Now you clarified it makes more sense.
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    (Original post by Theuglybox)
    Western society has moved on from the sexist concept of men being the protectors of women. The modern couple today both are working professionals and share responsibilities. It’s sad that you have been brainwashed into thinking you are some helpless doll that needs a man to look after you.
    Sorry if I am some helpless, brainwashed doll, how comes I've studied so hard, I have a good BSc and MSc degree. 'The modern couple today both are working professionals and share responsibilities'. That is exactly what I want but whats wrong with being dependant on the guy when your fresh onto the career field. The modern couple as you say should also support each other. The western society have alot of concepts, that make marriage seem like a little occasion, when it's not.
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    As SRouf mentioned, of course you're allowed to spend time with him (as long as there is a mahram present). There is absolutely nothing to fear, I've had two of my sisters married with arranged marriages, and my eldest sister now has two sons, and honestly my first brother-in-law is definitely one of the most amazing men I've ever met. My second sister very recently got married, so I'm getting to know my new brother-in-law slowly, he's a bit quiet but he's still very nice.

    If I do go down the arranged marriage route (it's not actually my preference but I don't have anything against it), then I will personally make sure to invite her close brothers/sisters and my sisters and brother-in-laws to a restaurant and have a nice time. That way, the whole family can get to know each other.
    I only fear the fact, what if I get married to my husband and I am not compatible for him or he isn't compatible for me. You find out alot more about the person after you get married. That sounds like a nice idea.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23M bengali, I try not to think about it too much even though my parents bring it up all the time lol
    You feel me girl
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You feel me girl
    guy*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    guy*
    Noway! Bengali parents usually are chill with guys lol until they are 28. But I guess its because they just want the best for us.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I only fear the fact, what if I get married to my husband and I am not compatible for him or he isn't compatible for me. You find out alot more about the person after you get married. That sounds like a nice idea.
    See, the whole thinking behind the "my family have had arranged marriages and they all got divorced" is very biased if you think about how often divorces take place in love marriages too.

    Also, there's a saying that you don't truly know who your partner is until marriage. The fact is, non-Muslim people live together as couples before they get married, so it doesn't affect them because they already have experience living together. But living with your partner after marriage hits hard for Muslim couples because they don't have experience living with their partner. The fact is, whenever you go out on dates, you only see the best side of your partner. You don't ever see the worst side of him, and it'll hit home once you do see it when you two start living together. So this concept of compatibility when it comes to Muslim couples can definitely be challenged.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Noway! Bengali parents usually are chill with guys lol until they are 28. But I guess its because they just want the best for us.
    there is immense pressure to become financially successful
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry if I am some helpless, brainwashed doll, how comes I've studied so hard, I have a good BSc and MSc degree. 'The modern couple today both are working professionals and share responsibilities'. That is exactly what I want but whats wrong with being dependant on the guy when your fresh onto the career field. The modern couple as you say should also support each other. The western society have alot of concepts, that make marriage seem like a little occasion, when it's not.
    Claims to be an independent woman but then asks what's wrong with being dependent upon a a man. There is nothing wrong with being dependent upon a man if you don't mind being a doormat but it just means you can't claim to be a strong independent woman without sounding like a hypocrite.
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    See, the whole thinking behind the "my family have had arranged marriages and they all got divorced" is very biased if you think about how often divorces take place in love marriages too.

    Also, there's a saying that you don't truly know who your partner is until marriage. The fact is, non-Muslim people live together as couples before they get married, so it doesn't affect them because they already have experience living together. But living with your partner after marriage hits hard for Muslim couples because they don't have experience living with their partner. The fact is, whenever you go out on dates, you only see the best side of your partner. You don't ever see the worst side of him, and it'll hit home once you do see it when you two start living together. So this concept of compatibility when it comes to Muslim couples can definitely be challenged.
    You know there are also non-practicing Muslim couples that live together befoe marriage?
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    (Original post by Theuglybox)
    You know there are also non-practicing Muslim couples that live together befoe marriage?
    The fact that there are 1.5 billion Muslims in the world, making up 22% of the world population, the idea that at least one Muslim couple would live together before marriage, is obviously a statistical possibility, so yes...I do know. Stop making yourself sound stupid.
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    (Original post by Theuglybox)
    You're calling someone else a clown when you're going to marry someone you never met?
    ?

    Where did I say that? Quote me please.


    (Original post by Andrew97)
    I’m the clown? Ok then.....
    Nice rebuttal


    (Original post by Theuglybox)
    You know there are also non-practicing Muslim couples that live together befoe marriage?
    Gee, I wonder why they're "non-practicing"

    It's almost like, wait for it... They're not following the religion! Which makes AnharM's post perfectly valid and in no need of any corrections.
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    See, the whole thinking behind the "my family have had arranged marriages and they all got divorced" is very biased if you think about how often divorces take place in love marriages too.

    Also, there's a saying that you don't truly know who your partner is until marriage. The fact is, non-Muslim people live together as couples before they get married, so it doesn't affect them because they already have experience living together. But living with your partner after marriage hits hard for Muslim couples because they don't have experience living with their partner. The fact is, whenever you go out on dates, you only see the best side of your partner. You don't ever see the worst side of him, and it'll hit home once you do see it when you two start living together. So this concept of compatibility when it comes to Muslim couples can definitely be challenged.
    Wow, this is actually so true and it made me think so different, so thank you.
 
 
 
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