I want to leave my study abroad early, but should I? Watch

taegonx
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Hi, I really need some advice. I’ve been studying in Philadelphia in the USA since September now and I’m just really not adapting to my life here.

For one, my roommate is a weirdo. She’s impossible to live with, sleeps all day, works at night, whispers and talks to herself all of the time, leaves clumps of hair everywhere and is generally just a nightmare. I’ve spoken to the management about this where I live, but they say there’s no room to change roommates and I don’t feel like they’ve taken my complains seriously. One night I felt genuinely scared to go to sleep because she was talking to herself submerged in darkness in the living room. When me and my housemate spoke to her about this with the management, she was generally quite dismissive and didn’t see the problem with her behaviour. I can’t live like this and I can’t live on campus because it’s far too expensive.

I don’t like the teaching style in America either, if I’m honest. The classroom setting I find to be very stifling and too focussed on testing instead of actual learning. It just isn’t very fun and I don’t feel like I’m studying my degree but rather loads of different irrelevant subjects that I have to study separately for.

I cannot drink. I’m used to going out with my friends and generally having fun via going to the pub, going to bars, etc, and it’s just not the same here. I thought I’d get used to it, but I just haven’t. I feel like a kid. On top of that, I haven’t really met anybody and believe my I’ve tried. Everybody just seems really into themselves because of the amount of work they have and the people I have met I just haven’t connected with.

All of this has made me feel extremely depressed and taken me back to a place where I’d rather not go back to. My anxiety has shot up, making it diffIcult for me to even go out on a limb because of the seemingly never ending setbacks I keep being faced with. I’m seriously considering going home, but the prospect of being stuck at home for 6 months and having to re-do my second year makes me feel like the biggest failure. I really don’t want to make a big mistake and ruin everything, but I’m just not happy here. A part of me thinks it might change if I move somewhere else, but then I think of the loneliness and the lack of proper friends and the never ending work and boredom.

Some advice?? Going abroad is meant to be this life changing experience and instead I hate it. I feel cheated almost.
Thanks everyone
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Hundeschule
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I have changed countries a few times in my life and the first months are always the hardest. It does take time to make new friends and settle in. You might need someone to help you over this rough patch like a counsellor or some supportive group. I have the feeling you are currently collecting all the negative points so you can leave without feeling bad about it. Trust me you might regret it later. This is an incredible learning ability and chance to see another culture. I would give it a bit longer. I saw many students coming home at Christmas having made zero friends at uni and then a little later they wouldn’t want to come home anymore because they loved it so much. Look out for some help and support and continue one day at a time, remind yourself why you originally came!
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taegonx
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(Original post by Hundeschule)
I have changed countries a few times in my life and the first months are always the hardest. It does take time to make new friends and settle in. You might need someone to help you over this rough patch like a counsellor or some supportive group. I have the feeling you are currently collecting all the negative points so you can leave without feeling bad about it. Trust me you might regret it later. This is an incredible learning ability and chance to see another culture. I would give it a bit longer. I saw many students coming home at Christmas having made zero friends at uni and then a little later they wouldn’t want to come home anymore because they loved it so much. Look out for some help and support and continue one day at a time, remind yourself why you originally came!
Thanks for replying, I just don’t know, the thought of going home and restarting uni just makes me so happy, it’s making me think that perhaps going home is the right thing to do. I literally feel like I’m a 16 year old in college, doing 4 different subjects and having to study separately for them all. I didn’t expect it to be like this, as in the U.K. university students are generally treated as fully fledged adults that can go out to bars and be fully independent, not given ridiculous homework and quizzes every week and not being able to drink. It’s just not what I felt I signed up for. I want 68%-72% this year, as I desperately want a 1st by the time I finish my degree and I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to achieve that here, doing subjects that I don’t really feel like are relevant to my degree either. That and the boredom and my hatred of big cities is making me seriously consider going home. But then again, I just don’t want to have to be one year behind everybody else! How long did it take you to settle in? I’ve been here 3 months and just feel worse every day.
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KraftyKaran
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(Original post by taegonx)
Thanks for replying, I just don’t know, the thought of going home and restarting uni just makes me so happy, it’s making me think that perhaps going home is the right thing to do. I literally feel like I’m a 16 year old in college, doing 4 different subjects and having to study separately for them all. I didn’t expect it to be like this, as in the U.K. university students are generally treated as fully fledged adults that can go out to bars and be fully independent, not given ridiculous homework and quizzes every week and not being able to drink. It’s just not what I felt I signed up for. I want 68%-72% this year, as I desperately want a 1st by the time I finish my degree and I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to achieve that here, doing subjects that I don’t really feel like are relevant to my degree either. That and the boredom and my hatred of big cities is making me seriously consider going home. But then again, I just don’t want to have to be one year behind everybody else! How long did it take you to settle in? I’ve been here 3 months and just feel worse every day.
Which University are you currently studying and what degree are you studying?
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Hundeschule
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3 months is a bit short to give up imo. In any case you won’t be able to do anything at home. Why not giving it another 2 months. At least finish a semester then you can put it in your CV later. Having a broad education has its advantages too. It can be a bit hard if you are already sure what your specialization should be but if you keep an open mind something might still be useful. In the modern world we often will be forced to adjust our carreer several times in life. So it could be helpful to have a broad base.And about being in adult ...cant you do this outside school? Go and join some external clubs and associations. There you can meet «*grown ups*» and get in insight into local societies. Besides being an adult also means hanging in there even if it is uncomfortable for a while. In your professional life you will encounter boring phases and unpleasant people. It will be up to you to transform the situation.
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taegonx
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(Original post by KraftyKaran)
Which University are you currently studying and what degree are you studying?
I’m doing Political Science at Drexel University rn but I do Politics and International Relations at University of York
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taegonx
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(Original post by Hundeschule)
3 months is a bit short to give up imo. In any case you won’t be able to do anything at home. Why not giving it another 2 months. At least finish a semester then you can put it in your CV later. Having a broad education has its advantages too. It can be a bit hard if you are already sure what your specialization should be but if you keep an open mind something might still be useful. In the modern world we often will be forced to adjust our carreer several times in life. So it could be helpful to have a broad base.And about being in adult ...cant you do this outside school? Go and join some external clubs and associations. There you can meet «*grown ups*» and get in insight into local societies. Besides being an adult also means hanging in there even if it is uncomfortable for a while. In your professional life you will encounter boring phases and unpleasant people. It will be up to you to transform the situation.
Yeah but can I not put it in my CV anyway? I’ve been here for one term which is the amount of time some people have stayed as per their course?
Also, I tried at the start of the year to join clubs and societies, there doesn’t seem to be that much focus on clubs here and the club I did go to was just pretty rubbish.
I can’t even bring myself to get out of bed either, my depression seems to be controlling me and it’s just getting worse tbh. I just don’t think I’m suited for this
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Germanyxoxoxo1
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I am in the exact same position at the moment. Hating studying abroad and considering going home. All will not be lost I can do my credits there. Did you go home? How did you find it
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steamed-hams
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(Original post by Germanyxoxoxo1)
I am in the exact same position at the moment. Hating studying abroad and considering going home. All will not be lost I can do my credits there. Did you go home? How did you find it
i did one; it had its ups and downs, but once a routine is in place like everything is more familiar than brand new then everything clicks into place more. by the end i wanted to transfer to the uni
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