Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

How to cope with feeling like a failure when my friend gets everything I want?

I met my friend at uni and she really is the loveliest girl in the world. However recently, I've been struggling with feelings of jealousy around her. She is basically living the life I want to live!

Our uni offers a free trip to Thailand once a year. You have to send in an application and they choose the best of the lot.

I absolutely love travelling, and have never had a chance to go outside of Europe before because of money costs. I tried really hard with my application, and let my friend know so that she could apply too.

When the results came back, it was a bit of a blow to find out that she had got in, but not me. It hurt when she talked about how excited she was to me but I kept my mouth shut bc I didn't want to ruin her mood.

A few months later, she received a letter in the post saying that she had won an award for her high grades. Our grades have been exactly the same throughout the 2 years at uni (mine may even be a little better) so I'm not sure how they chose her over me! Once again I was left feeling jealous and disappointed.

There are so many more things that have happened, such as her winning competitions that we have both entered.

I am left with the feeling that she must just be more likeable than me, but it sucks. Having her been chosen over me for everything is just bringing me down. How can I channel these thoughts into something positive?

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

You could, for example, get a better boyfriend than her. Which should be easy enough to do. And then she'll be the jealous one. Especially with the choice of boyfriend being far more important than winning trips to Thailand or awards for high grades.

Or you could get a better job than her after you graduate.