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I Feel So Low And Lost watch

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    Hi guys, I’m 19, and Lately I did think things were getting back on track again for me. I started feeling slightly happier after experiencing possibly the worst year of my life. I won’t go into much detail with everything but I experienced a breakup 6 months ago which completely turned my life upside down. I lost weight and I was literally crying 24/7, panicking, you name it. I was with her for 2 years (I’m also a girl).

    I’ve never really had that many friends growing up although I tried to make friends, no one seemed to just want to hang out with me or talk to me. My sense of humour is just weird to people and I’m called crazy, retarded, weird etc but a couple of years ago I did have a few close friends including my ex girlfriend which was all I needed.

    Now I don’t have anyone at all, I had a friend but he became possessive over me and he was negative towards me all the time so I had to block him - but he was really the only one who wanted to speak to me.

    I go through days without a single message on my phone, I met up with a girl from college the other day and we went out and I slept round her house but after that, I probably won’t hear from her again. Even though I try to message and make conversation, I’m usually just ignored. I don’t get why .

    Literally, the best way I can describe it, is that I’m really lonely, I don’t have a best friend anymore or even close friends who I can talk about my problems to. Ever since I lost my ex girlfriend, who doesn’t contact me whatsoever which is heartbreaking considering we were also best friends and she was my life, it’s made me miss her more.

    Also my old friend who I recently blocked who I talked about earlier has started speaking to my ex and whenever we used to argue (because of him) he’d just message her bad things about me and that really made my stomach churn because I don’t want her thinking anything bad of me when it’s not true .

    I’ve tried to make friends, I’ve even downloaded apps to try and meet people but most of them are weird and when I actually talk to someone they lose interest very quickly .

    I have no family to talk to either and I have problems with a family member too and I no longer can reach out to anyone for help and I’m in a constant circle all the time and I just have to pretend I’m okay.

    I feel like I don’t belong anywhere or with anyone, a year ago I had everything I needed and I was happy and loved, worthy. Now I’m not even noticed by anyone, and it’s taking its toll on me.
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    Okay then ;-;
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