Depression or just low mood? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi all. I’m a 28 year old male, and for about 9 years now I feel as though I may have suffered from depression.
My first memory of it was back in 2009, on a Christmas Day. We went to a relatives’ house and I was the youngest person there. Everyone was talking, laughing, joking, drinking, and I was struggling to join in with the conversations. I just remember sitting there quietly, feeling as though I was a failure, with hardly any friends and definitely no partner in my life.
These feelings have come and gone sporadically over the years, but in the last 18 months I feel as though my life has been on a constant downward spiral which shows no end of letting up.
Last year I split with my long time girlfriend, who cheated on me several times. After a few months, I decided to get back ‘out there’, and join several online dating sites. What followed, and is, to this day still following, is rejection, after rejection, after rejection. I’ve been some pretty brutal dating situations and as a result, as I sit here today, I feel as though my fate is to fail, be single, and never achieve my ambition of getting married and having children.
Add to this, I lost a relative earlier this year, which understandably hit the whole family really hard. I have massive regrets about not doing enough for her when she was still with us, and the biggest thing on my mind is the worry she may have thought I didn’t love her. Which is far from the case, I miss her every single day and I wish I could turn back the clocks and be there for her.
On top of that, my working life is utterly miserable. I absolutely cannot stand my co-worker, and the job itself has become a mediocre chore which I just cannot wait to leave. But the opportunities for me to leave have been pretty non-existent so far.
As a result, I feel hopeless, worthless, and I really don’t understand what my purpose is for being here. I am bringing nothing to the world, nothing to my family, and quite frankly I have failed in almost every area of my life. Over the weekend I have literally had no interest in doing absolutely anything. Today, I managed to go for a walk this morning, and have spent the rest of the day lying in bed in tears, and listening to music.
I don’t really have suicidal thoughts as such, just a really strong will not to be here anymore. Am I depressed? Or am I just feeling low because of the consistent bad luck that I seem to be getting served?
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Sam00
Badges: 17
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Hey, I am no expert but it sounds like depression, not full blown as in suicidal, however I think you should visit your GP about this as obviously things could get worse just as much as they can better. If you don't want meds then explicitly have them understand this as they seem to give them out liberally. Take it easy.
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SJW-
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what helps me is knowing that the chance of being born is 400 trillion to 1 so effectively zero. and knowing it’s a complete fkn miracle to be here there just isn’t time for constant excessive bs
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi all. I’m a 28 year old male, and for about 9 years now I feel as though I may have suffered from depression.
My first memory of it was back in 2009, on a Christmas Day. We went to a relatives’ house and I was the youngest person there. Everyone was talking, laughing, joking, drinking, and I was struggling to join in with the conversations. I just remember sitting there quietly, feeling as though I was a failure, with hardly any friends and definitely no partner in my life.
These feelings have come and gone sporadically over the years, but in the last 18 months I feel as though my life has been on a constant downward spiral which shows no end of letting up.
Last year I split with my long time girlfriend, who cheated on me several times. After a few months, I decided to get back ‘out there’, and join several online dating sites. What followed, and is, to this day still following, is rejection, after rejection, after rejection. I’ve been some pretty brutal dating situations and as a result, as I sit here today, I feel as though my fate is to fail, be single, and never achieve my ambition of getting married and having children.
Add to this, I lost a relative earlier this year, which understandably hit the whole family really hard. I have massive regrets about not doing enough for her when she was still with us, and the biggest thing on my mind is the worry she may have thought I didn’t love her. Which is far from the case, I miss her every single day and I wish I could turn back the clocks and be there for her.
On top of that, my working life is utterly miserable. I absolutely cannot stand my co-worker, and the job itself has become a mediocre chore which I just cannot wait to leave. But the opportunities for me to leave have been pretty non-existent so far.
As a result, I feel hopeless, worthless, and I really don’t understand what my purpose is for being here. I am bringing nothing to the world, nothing to my family, and quite frankly I have failed in almost every area of my life. Over the weekend I have literally had no interest in doing absolutely anything. Today, I managed to go for a walk this morning, and have spent the rest of the day lying in bed in tears, and listening to music.
I don’t really have suicidal thoughts as such, just a really strong will not to be here anymore. Am I depressed? Or am I just feeling low because of the consistent bad luck that I seem to be getting served?
This is definitely depression. And the trouble with being depressed is that it shows on your face and in your mood with other people. When my husband asked for a divorce I went into a bout of depression just as you describe. It was the worst period of my life.

So what can you do.

1. Seek medical help - antidepressants work - without them I would not be here. I was on a short course and they turned my life around.
2. Once your mood has lifted you can address other parts of your life such as:
3. Your relationships - as I said you may as well have a sign over your head saying "I am depressed - be mean to me". When I was internet dating, I met several men who just seemed so sad - it was off putting. I had been sad too and had to stop until I felt better.
4. Your job - move towns, do a course; go back to college, retrain. If you hate your job, dont stay.
5. Your deceased relative - nothing you can do - just talk with your other relatives and say to them that you wished you had done more. It will help you.
6. Get some exercise. Nothing like those endorphins for lifting the mood.

We are all valuable in some way. This is a hiatus in your life - a crossroads if you like. Where you go from here is in your hands but trust me things will get better if you heed the above. Many of us have been in your position, many of us.... and there is a way out.
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