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    I am really really struggling to fit in at the particular uni I go to. I like my course (although there is way too much group work) however I just find that everyone only cares about drinking, smoking, clubbing and doing drugs. I am not into any of that stuff so people quickly become disinterested in me as soon as they find out that I don't go out.

    I've joined some societies where there is no drinking focus but many of the students are older so are either not interested in me being a first year or will soon be graduating so I couldn't maintain a friendship with them.

    I guess I am not your typical teenager/ young adult but I didn't think that being different would be such a problem when trying to make friends. I heard one of my flatmates call me 'really weird' to some of her friends from home which was quite hurtful because she doesn't really know me that well. Another problem, I don't get on with my flatmates so feel even lonelier.

    I am now panicking about housing for next year which most people have seemed to have sorted out by now.

    I was thinking of transferring or restarting at a uni closer to home and commuting but honestly don't want to have to through the hassle of it all.

    It also doesn't help that I have social anxiety, I find it really hard to initiate conversations, I come across as quite rude but in reality I am just nervous to talk to new people.
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    (Original post by Jessie24)
    I am really really struggling to fit in at the particular uni I go to. I like my course (although there is way too much group work) however I just find that everyone only cares about drinking, smoking, clubbing and doing drugs. I am not into any of that stuff so people quickly become disinterested in me as soon as they find out that I don't go out.

    I've joined some societies where there is no drinking focus but many of the students are older so are either not interested in me being a first year or will soon be graduating so I couldn't maintain a friendship with them.

    I guess I am not your typical teenager/ young adult but I didn't think that being different would be such a problem when trying to make friends. I heard one of my flatmates call me 'really weird' to some of her friends from home which was quite hurtful because she doesn't really know me that well. Another problem, I don't get on with my flatmates so feel even lonelier.

    I am now panicking about housing for next year which most people have seemed to have sorted out by now.

    I was thinking of transferring or restarting at a uni closer to home and commuting but honestly don't want to have to through the hassle of it all.

    It also doesn't help that I have social anxiety, I find it really hard to initiate conversations, I come across as quite rude but in reality I am just nervous to talk to new people.
    Have you got help for your social anxiety and found ways around it? That's probably a good place to start as if people are put off by their first meeting they will rarely make an effort later. Not everyone you meet you will get on with so to some extent you need to learn to ignore people who are mean for no reason. If you have found societies that you enjoy going to then make friends there. In the grand scheme of things age makes no difference and if you are willing to make an effort others will too. Will you just stop being friends with people from uni after your graduate? Some of my uni friends were at my wedding several years later. We live in different parts of the world and are still friends!
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    Hey Jessie24
    Sorry to hear you're not having the greatest time at Uni

    You have plenty of time to sort your housing out, don't fear about that!
    There are many students who aren't overly involved in drinking, smoking, etc. Try looking into different societies in your university that may help you find a mutual ground to bond over / form friendships.

    I think you may be overthinking the fact people lose interest in you by not going out. Some people who only go out (and basically have alcohol as a personality) may, but would you really want friends like those anyway? I'm sure there are a great deal of people who would strike up a friendship with you, just ensure you're making the effort to reach out and maintain them too.

    Hope this helps
    Josh
 
 
 

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