How do I ask mum for a holiday?

5 years ago me, my mum and my sisters moved up north, leaving my dad (divorced) and everyone mum would trust to babysit behind. I picked a university that is nearby and live with them (coincidentally it's like a 20 minute walk to campus). Because of this, I have become my sibling's secondary carer. Mum works full time and on her late days I take my sisters to and from school (they're 8, 13 and 15) and I make sure everything runs smoothly at home: tidy up, help with homework, cook dinner and so on. On the other 4 days when mum is there she still needs help. Not as much, but some.
I haven't had a day off in 5 years. The odd bit of sick leave, but she has a minimum of 5 jobs for me any given day. Usually school run, since she hates driving and I got my licence a year ago. She always says the house wouldn't run without me.
I just want a few days to myself. That's all. The plan is to drive down in my half term and stay with dad for a couple days. He's half an hour from London on the train. I've been to London enough times to know my way around but I still have a list of things I want to do: museums, galleries, shops, sightseeing. I've saved up some money.
My half term is the first week of March. My siblings' is the middle of February. Mum is going to want me to watch them both weeks.
How do I ask for a few days off?

Just tell her you're going away for a few days and want a break

In respectful way firmly say your taking a little bit of time off. The option for her to refuse shouldn’t exist. Your mum needs your help which can be fine sometimes but she’s taking the piss.

Is she? I mean I know she does sometimes, but I figure she wouldn't ask if she didn't need help.
What if she does refuse? I asked her about going on holiday with my mates last summer and she said no. Told me she needed me to look after the girls because I'm the man of the house or some sh*t.

That sounds really tough and not something most people your age have to deal with. If you talked to her about it would she be understanding? She should know that it’s not your role to take care of her children in the family, and that she’s very very lucky that you’ve helped out for so long, and not moved away for university (which I think I would’ve done! 🙈).

Can confirm, piss is being taken. You’re one of her children too, who takes care of you?

Yeah but what do I say? Really don't want to p*ss her off, yknow?



Is she? I mean I know she does sometimes, but I figure she wouldn't ask if she didn't need help.
What if she does refuse? I asked her about going on holiday with my mates last summer and she said no. Told me she needed me to look after the girls because I'm the man of the house or some sh*t.

You are taking on responsibilities she should have. They aren’t your kids. Helping out occasionally is understandable not always. You’re at uni and that should be your main focus.

I don’t want to steer you wrong but she needs you more than you need her. For this one time flex your power and say you are going. Don’t ask her tell her. Show her you know your value at home. She needs to stop using excuses as a reason for you to not be able to live your life.

I mean yeah I'm not just gonna turn up lol but she doesn't listen to dad tbh. And it's not like he's gonna volunteer to help her out. He barely pays child support.

Okay. Never done smth like that tbh. Just tell her I'm going. No room for arguing. If I tell her ASAP she'll have time to sort something out for March.

Right. Yeah. That'll work. Thanks.

Your oldest sister is 15, she could manage to look after the others for a week. You need to just stand firm.