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Annoyance and Self-Hatred over Texting watch

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    I've been having problems lately controlling my patience and emotions over whether or not someone replies to my text messages/emails. All started a few months ago I was catching up with a friend over text. As she had recent success with relationships, while I have been struggling with interpersonal relationships in recent times, I reached out to ask her opinion over what positive qualities she saw in me, as I've done with my close friends and family to combat my self-esteem problems, because she has been one of the better friends I've met in recent times. No response. Another instance of this happening was when I wished a former crush of mine happy birthday, I thought it would be a chance to ask her how things were going, as we had not talked in awhile. We live in different towns so I'm not dating, but we've still been good friends. But Again no response. After some of these occurrences I have had more frequent intrusive thought attacks, with my anxiety screaming things like: "You're insane!" "You are an intrusive burden!" "You're handling this all wrong!" "You should have known better than to continue those conversations!" As with talking to friends of the opposite gender: "You are a dangerous disgusting disgrace, and you have no business with women!"


    I've realized this swirl of emotions over text messages has become a problem because I've become more self-conscious and over-analyzing of how I handle my relationships or interact with others. The very fact if someone replies to me or not can really make me grumpy, often for several days at a time. When someone actually does reply to my texts, and just happens to be slow doing so, I get angry with myself for letting my impatience distract myself. This happened when I was remotely working with a friend on a project that needed urgent attention and made him stressed because I kept texting him, as I assigned him a role to work with me on this up-and-coming project, and he responded after 20 minutes of waiting for him to get to a Wi-Fi hotspot.


    Am I crazy like I think I am? Are any of my thoughts actually true? How can I be more patient with waiting for text messages/emails and regain control of my emotions?
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    should get psychological help
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    Forgot to mention in my post that I’m actually seeing a counselor at the moment. But as this built for a long time coming, it has been a slow process.
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    Tbh I feel you, I get extremely annoyed when people don’t reply when I want a reply. I’m still struggling with it but I just stopped texting people who didn’t care enough to reply or whatever the reason is and it’s helped a lot. Another thing is I stopped caring as much. Good luck
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    Thank you so much. I’m glad that someone can relate. I think that’s a great idea and that’s something I’ve tried to do already.
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