Should i marry/date him (he is 30 years older)? Watch

This discussion is closed.
pillowfields
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#81
Report 1 week ago
#81
your life will not get drastically get better by marrying this predatory man. your stress will not fly away. you do not understand the consequences this can have with the major power imbalance. a 40yr old should not be romantically and sexually interested in somebody under 18. ask yourself why can't he get somebody his own age?
you're a golddigger and although you've asked an online forum for their opinions, you're shutting down everybody that disagrees with you.

i've been in similar positions and i can tell you you're being a huge idiot. listen to the people here.
1
Unicorncorn
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#82
Report 1 week ago
#82
The fact that he's even expressed interested in you is disgusting. When he doesn't care if you are underage or not is a massive red flag, he just wants you for your youth, how do you know he won't mistreat you or trade you out for a younger model in a few years?
2
anosmianAcrimony
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#83
Report 1 week ago
#83
(Original post by Ciel.)
Yes (unless he's super ugly, or creepy). Your own comfort and financial security should be your top priority. You can always sleep with other people behind his back, too.
^ Not a recipe for long-term happiness
4
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#84
Report 1 week ago
#84
(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
^ Not a recipe for long-term happiness
It can be. Not in this case, though. After reading more of her posts, the guy fits my definition of creepy.
0
YaliaV
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#85
Report 1 week ago
#85
If you’re 18 and he was interested in you when you were 14, then he’s a prize creep. If he made it known to you that he was interested at your dad’s funeral, then that’s even worse. Child abusing creep.
1
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#86
Report 1 week ago
#86
The OP lives in the Netherlands. Looking at the Wiki page for age of consent, for the Netherlands it says:


Art 245: "A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen, performs indecent acts comprising or including sexual penetration of the body is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than eight years or a fine of the fifth category."

Art 247: "A person who, with a person whom he knows to be unconscious or physically unable to resist or to be suffering from such a degree of mental defect or mental disease that he is incapable or not sufficiently capable of exercising or expressing his will in the matter or of offering resistance, performs indecent acts, or who, with a person who has not yet reached the age of sixteen (16) years, out of wedlock, performs indecent acts, or by whom the latter is enticed into performing, or submitting to such acts, out of wedlock, with a third party, is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than six years or a fine of the fourth category."

According to my understanding of this law. you can marry a 12 year old in the Netherlands and legally have sex with her.
If this man made it clear that sex would only be within marriage at the age of 14, or no sex until the OP was 16 - and if he has abided by that policy with all other young women in the Netherlands - then legally he is not liable for conviction as a paedophile in that country.

And if that's the case, everyone calling him a paedophile in this thread would appear to be just name calling based on their own personal perception of what the law should be in the Netherlands. This could be name calling verging on libel - as this man may have acted completely within the law at all times.
Different countries around the world have different cultures and different laws.
0
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#87
Report 1 week ago
#87
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The OP lives in the Netherlands. Looking at the Wiki page for age of consent, for the Netherlands it says:


Art 245: "A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen, performs indecent acts comprising or including sexual penetration of the body is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than eight years or a fine of the fifth category."

Art 247: "A person who, with a person whom he knows to be unconscious or physically unable to resist or to be suffering from such a degree of mental defect or mental disease that he is incapable or not sufficiently capable of exercising or expressing his will in the matter or of offering resistance, performs indecent acts, or who, with a person who has not yet reached the age of sixteen (16) years, out of wedlock, performs indecent acts, or by whom the latter is enticed into performing, or submitting to such acts, out of wedlock, with a third party, is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than six years or a fine of the fourth category."

According to my understanding of this law. you can marry a 12 year old in the Netherlands and legally have sex with her.
If this man made it clear that sex would only be within marriage at the age of 14, or no sex until the OP was 16 - and if he has abided by that policy with all other young women in the Netherlands - then legally he is not liable for conviction as a paedophile in that country.

And if that's the case, everyone calling him a paedophile in this thread would appear to be just name calling based on their own personal perception of what the law should be in the Netherlands. This could be name calling verging on libel - as this man may have acted completely within the law at all times.
Different countries around the world have different cultures and different laws.
Can't you ****ing read? It says 8 years of prison. The age of consent in Netherlands is 16.
1
punkdilla
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#88
Report 1 week ago
#88
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The OP lives in the Netherlands. Looking at the Wiki page for age of consent, for the Netherlands it says:


Art 245: "A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen, performs indecent acts comprising or including sexual penetration of the body is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than eight years or a fine of the fifth category."

Art 247: "A person who, with a person whom he knows to be unconscious or physically unable to resist or to be suffering from such a degree of mental defect or mental disease that he is incapable or not sufficiently capable of exercising or expressing his will in the matter or of offering resistance, performs indecent acts, or who, with a person who has not yet reached the age of sixteen (16) years, out of wedlock, performs indecent acts, or by whom the latter is enticed into performing, or submitting to such acts, out of wedlock, with a third party, is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than six years or a fine of the fourth category."

According to my understanding of this law. you can marry a 12 year old in the Netherlands and legally have sex with her.
If this man made it clear that sex would only be within marriage at the age of 14, or no sex until the OP was 16 - and if he has abided by that policy with all other young women in the Netherlands - then legally he is not liable for conviction as a paedophile in that country.

And if that's the case, everyone calling him a paedophile in this thread would appear to be just name calling based on their own personal perception of what the law should be in the Netherlands. This could be name calling verging on libel - as this man may have acted completely within the law at all times.
Different countries around the world have different cultures and different laws.
It is name calling. It also adequately conveys the disdain and social inappropriateness of a 50 year old man marrying a 18 year old, regardless of legality. The law isn't the arbiter of morality.
0
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#89
Report 1 week ago
#89
(Original post by punkdilla)
You're making up a stereotype that just isn't true.
Oh no I'm not. What I'm saying is very much backed up by statistics. For example Google "statistics for teenage relationships lasting"
And you will find that in the USA.only 2% of high school sweathearts end up marrying. Of those that do marry whilst teenagers only 54% of them have marriages that last more than 10 years, whilst those that wait till they are over 25, have a 78% chance of their marriage lasting over 10 years.


Also, anecdotally, every man that I know, including me, was relatively hopeless at long term romantic relationships whilst they were 22 or under. Too many of them will be hopeless at relationships until the day they die. But enough of them learn from their mistakes and develop and mature to the point where they would make reasonable husbands after the age of 25 to 30. With continuous improvement in this area being a life-long thing for the wiser ones.
0
punkdilla
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#90
Report 1 week ago
#90
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Oh no I'm not. What I'm saying is very much backed up by statistics. For example Google "statistics for teenage relationships lasting"
And you will find that in the USA.only 2% of high school sweathearts end up marrying. Of those that do marry whilst teenagers only 54% of them have marriages that last more than 10 years, whilst those that wait till they are over 25, have a 78% chance of their marriage lasting over 10 years.


Also, anecdotally, every man that I know, including me, was relatively hopeless at long term romantic relationships whilst they were 22 or under. Too many of them will be hopeless at relationships until the day they die. But enough of them learn from their mistakes and develop and mature to the point where they would make reasonable husbands after the age of 25 to 30. With continuous improvement in this area being a life-long thing for the wiser ones.
None of what you said fits in with your initial description.
0
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#91
Report 1 week ago
#91
(Original post by Ciel.)
Can't you ****ing read? It says 8 years of prison. The age of consent in Netherlands is 16.
Can't you read?

It says A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen
0
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#92
Report 1 week ago
#92
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Can't you read?

It says A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen
The min. age of marriage is 18 years old in the Netherlands!!! And the age of consent is 16, what is wrong with you?
0
Thewanabenerd
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#93
Report 1 week ago
#93
hb you actually put an effort on your uni(your education) to get a good job rather then going for a guy 30 yr older.
i recommend you concentrate on your work if you put hard work, it will work. but plz do not go with the gyu, it's like your life is on the line.
0
Waldorf67
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#94
Report 1 week ago
#94
(Original post by sinfonietta)
It sounds like you want to marry him to take advantage of him - not because you've an interest in him. So no. Let him find someone else who actually cares about him.
What did the man expect by chasing someone thirty years his junior?

He’s not a stupid man he undoubtedly knows his money would have a major pull.
0
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#95
Report 1 week ago
#95
(Original post by punkdilla)
It is name calling. It also adequately conveys the disdain and social inappropriateness of a 50 year old man marrying a 18 year old, regardless of legality. The law isn't the arbiter of morality.
You might not think that the law is the arbiter of morality. I think it is.

In 21st Century Western Europe anyway.


It would be rather big headed of you to think that you know better what's an appropriate law for the Netherlands than the elected Government of that country.
It's a different country to the UK with a different culture. If you don't like their culture or their laws then you are quite welcome to carry on living in the UK.

I however love the culture in the Netherlands and would be very happy to live there at any time - and to abide by all their laws and to use their laws as my moral guidance whilst I Ilved there.
0
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#96
Report 1 week ago
#96
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
You might not think that the law is the arbiter of morality. I think it is.

In 21st Century Western Europe anyway.


It would be rather big headed of you to think that you know better what's an appropriate law for the Netherlands than the elected Government of that country.
It's a different country to the UK with a different culture. If you don't like their culture or their laws then you are quite welcome to carry on living in the UK.

I however love the culture in the Netherlands and would be very happy to live there at any time - and to abide by all their laws and to use their laws as my moral guidance whilst I Ilved there.
Wtf are you talking about? You are wrong. You don't even know their laws.
0
punkdilla
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#97
Report 1 week ago
#97
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
You might not think that the law is the arbiter of morality. I think it is.

In 21st Century Western Europe anyway.


It would be rather big headed of you to think that you know better what's an appropriate law for the Netherlands than the elected Government of that country.
It's a different country to the UK with a different culture. If you don't like their culture or their laws then you are quite welcome to carry on living in the UK.

I however love the culture in the Netherlands and would be very happy to live there at any time - and to abide by all their laws and to use their laws as my moral guidance whilst I Ilved there.
bruv cheating on someone is wrong but it's not illegal. you crazy
0
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#98
Report 1 week ago
#98
(Original post by Ciel.)
Wtf are you talking about? You are wrong. You don't even know their laws.
Are you saying that the Wiki entry that I pasted into this thread is incorrect?

Please take it up with Wiki, not me.

And please feel free to quote the piece of Netherlands legislation, including your source, if you know better than Wiki what the law on consent is in the Netherlands.
0
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#99
Report 1 week ago
#99
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Are you saying that the Wiki entry that I pasted into this thread is incorrect?

Please take it up with Wiki, not me.

And please feel free to quote the piece of Netherlands legislation, including your source, if you know better than Wiki what the law on consent is in the Netherlands.
https://www.ageofconsent.net/world/netherlands
https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/child...e-netherlands/

Don't just spread false information like that!
0
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#100
Report 1 week ago
#100
(Original post by punkdilla)
bruv cheating on someone is wrong but it's not illegal. you crazy
In some countries it is illegal.

In others it isn't.

If I were married I therefore would not cheat on my wife if we lived in Saudi Arabia.


The question is, is something so wrong that it deserves punishment?
I don't think that cheating comes into that category - which is why I'm happy with the law on this in the UK.

When it comes to a 50 year old man having sex with a child.
If the child is 5 years old, I think that that deserves punishment. Strong punishment from a long prison term.
If the person is 12 years old, is married to the 50 year old, lives in the Netherlands then (according to my understanding of NL law) no that does not deserve punsihment.
If the person is 18 years old and lives in the UK or the Netherlands then again no, it does not deserve punishment.
0
X
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Were you ever put in isolation at school?

Yes (199)
27.87%
No (515)
72.13%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise