The Student Room Group

What to do when you miss someone?

So basically i was “seeing” this guy for a couple months. I say “seeing” because I’m not really sure what we were as long story short he basically led me on by minute saying he wanted to be in a relationship without the title, to the next saying he wanted to be with other girls.

Anyway we’ve stopped seeing each other now and it’s taken a few weeks but believe me when I say I am definitely over it.

The only problem is that he’s actually my university flatmate (I know I know no lectures on how you shouldn’t do this). Besides he’s been with other girls since and nothing is awkward at all between me and him. Me and him had a really good friendship before anything happened and honestly I just want that back which I think might happen.

However he’s been home for the past week and half due to having serve tonsillitis. I’ve tried to not message him (as a way to show him and myself that I’m over it) but annoyingly being the nice person I am I did message when I found out he was in the hospital with the pain and HE did keep the conversation going for a couple days asking me questions etc, even said he missed some of the stuff we used to do together, but since then I’ve heard nothing from him... I don’t want to keep having to be the first person to message but I also miss not taking to him as a friend.

What should I do to completely get over it? Ignore him completely?
Act normal around him like I would any other friend?
I don’t know any help would be appreciated...
Original post by Anonymous
So basically i was “seeing” this guy for a couple months. I say “seeing” because I’m not really sure what we were as long story short he basically led me on by minute saying he wanted to be in a relationship without the title, to the next saying he wanted to be with other girls.

Anyway we’ve stopped seeing each other now and it’s taken a few weeks but believe me when I say I am definitely over it.

The only problem is that he’s actually my university flatmate (I know I know no lectures on how you shouldn’t do this). Besides he’s been with other girls since and nothing is awkward at all between me and him. Me and him had a really good friendship before anything happened and honestly I just want that back which I think might happen.

However he’s been home for the past week and half due to having serve tonsillitis. I’ve tried to not message him (as a way to show him and myself that I’m over it) but annoyingly being the nice person I am I did message when I found out he was in the hospital with the pain and HE did keep the conversation going for a couple days asking me questions etc, even said he missed some of the stuff we used to do together, but since then I’ve heard nothing from him... I don’t want to keep having to be the first person to message but I also miss not taking to him as a friend.

What should I do to completely get over it? Ignore him completely?
Act normal around him like I would any other friend?
I don’t know any help would be appreciated...


Well if you are not bothered by the fact he is going off with other girls I am sure it is fine to keep messaging him.
Right, you either be his friend or you cut him off completely.
If you're his friend, you don't need to play these "I don't want to message first" games. If you want to chat, chat. But to be honest it sounds to me like he's more than that to you, if it's affecting you this deeply that he hasn't been there. What are you going to do over the holidays when you won't see him for a whole month most likely?
You need to have a chat to each other and decide what you are to each other. It's not fair of him to be saying he misses things you did together as it will be messing with your head. However, I'll let that go as he was in hospital and you do funny things when you're feeling vulnerable. If you are going to be friends, a definitely line has to be drawn, and you both need to stay on the correct side of that line.
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
Right, you either be his friend or you cut him off completely.
If you're his friend, you don't need to play these "I don't want to message first" games. If you want to chat, chat. But to be honest it sounds to me like he's more than that to you, if it's affecting you this deeply that he hasn't been there. What are you going to do over the holidays when you won't see him for a whole month most likely?
You need to have a chat to each other and decide what you are to each other. It's not fair of him to be saying he misses things you did together as it will be messing with your head. However, I'll let that go as he was in hospital and you do funny things when you're feeling vulnerable. If you are going to be friends, a definitely line has to be drawn, and you both need to stay on the correct side of that line.

PRSOM ffs stop being so wise and clever all the time
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
PRSOM ffs stop being so wise and clever all the time

Haha, thanks, it would be great if I could think about taking some of my own advice sometimes though!

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