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Please help me I need advice on how to turn my life around watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I’m 20, and I am in uni. I feel like these are the problems I need to solve.

    Problems:
    1.) I either feel on top of the world like most of today or I feel like **** like right now (mood swings?).

    2.)The worst thing that ever happened to me was discovering Porn Masturbation and Orgasm. Its an addiction and it’s just like alcoholism,smoking etc abuse of dopamine made me become lazy last year,lack motivation and reducing self confidence. I just relapsed today after a 17 day streak and I feel like ****. It happened all so quickly and I am pretty sure I have Porn Induced Erecticle Dysfunction as I can’t even get hard to my imagination. Porn is the worst thing that ever happened to me

    3.) I feel like my porn addiction is also greatly caused by my addiction to my mobile phone. I spend hours a day on my phone and I always relpase when my phone is with me on my bed and when I am awake past midnight like today.

    4.) Insomnia... ever since I started uni I average going to sleep at 2am sometimes 4am. It’s messing up my life goals.

    5.) I have a crush on this girl. It’s the worst crush. I feel so shallow. I feel like I only like her for her looks and I wish I could just unlike her. I want to focus on myself first but I still have just a massive crush on her. Who am I kidding? I have confidence but I don’t have the height, my skin refuses to be clear, and I am 20% body fat (currently cutting down and doing heavy lifting in the gym)



    TLDR:
    1.)Porn addiction
    2.)Phone addiction
    3.)Insomnia
    4.)idk
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    Are you bipolar?
    Or you could just be depressed see a doctor.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by adam277)
    Are you bipolar?
    Or you could just be depressed see a doctor.
    Im sure I’m not depressed or bipolar.
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    If you feel like you aren't satisfied with your life as it is now then you will have to put in a lot of effort to change it. Addictions can be difficult to deal with, especially when they have been developed over several years. I think it would be best for you to come up with ways to cure your addictions yourself since you should know better than anyone else what would work for you. If you really can't come up with anything then you can ask me for advice or look around online. If you really want to stop liking that girl then you can tell her how you feel about her (including the fact that you only like her for her looks). I'm not 100% sure this will work but it's worth trying if you can't focus on improving yourself. Alternatively, you could use your feelings for her as motivation to try and better yourself although this may not work depending on the type of person that you are.
    • #2
    #2

    I often find myself in a similar state. The messed up sleep pattern is affecting me badly just now. If I can offer some advice it would be:

    For the porn:
    Don't hate yourself for watching it, most people do and it is perfectly normal, especially if you don't have a very active sex life. However, if you feel it's affecting your ability to get aroused naturally, try looking at still images instead of hardcore videos, and gradually try to loosen your reliance on it in general.
    Other basic things would be putting your phone away from your bed and just trying to resist but I know that can be harder than it sounds. You could also try giving yourself a daily/weekly limit, or at least using it as a reward for doing something else e.g. exercise. I know that sounds like you'd be encouraging the bad behaviour but the truth is it's fine to masturbate, and you won't feel bad about it if you've done something good first and not just sitting around all day feeling **** about yourself.

    For the phone addiction:
    Also something most people struggle with, I have considered going cold turkey and just buying an old Nokia phone, but realistically you need the internet to communicate nowadays. Maybe try putting it on flight mode for a certain number of hours per day? And when in bed, try turning your phone off and putting it away from your bed again, you're less likely to just pick it up when you don't fall asleep right away.

    For the insomnia:
    Same again, the phone is probably a large part of the problem. Turn it off or put it on flight mode at night and chuck it across the room. If you are sleeping in often, try making plans to meet people early in the morning. I find that I can get up fairly easily when I have a commitment to someone else, but struggle a lot when I'm just relying on myself. Also avoid phones, TV, caffeine close to bedtime, you should try to slowly wind down your mind before bed - you could try reading a book or taking a bath.

    Overall, the best thing that would apply to all of these problems is getting some good exercise. Seriously. The clichéd benefits of eating well and doing exercise cannot be exaggerated. Try doing some cardio eg going a run in the evening, this will definitely tire you out before bed and if you want to reward yourself with some alone time you won't feel nearly as bad about it compared to if you were just sitting around all night. Maybe join some kind of sports club or take up some kind of hobby, having something to look forward to once or a few times a week can focus your mind and stop you from feeling like you're constantly wasting your time. It will also give you some guaranteed time without your phone.

    I can't say much about your crush, it's normal to fancy someone who's good looking. You could try getting to know them and then you'll either be turned off by her **** personality or realise you like her for more than just her looks.

    Good luck man, these are some very common struggles of the 21st century unfortunately.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I often find myself in a similar state. The messed up sleep pattern is affecting me badly just now. If I can offer some advice it would be:

    For the porn:
    Don't hate yourself for watching it, most people do and it is perfectly normal, especially if you don't have a very active sex life. However, if you feel it's affecting your ability to get aroused naturally, try looking at still images instead of hardcore videos, and gradually try to loosen your reliance on it in general.
    Other basic things would be putting your phone away from your bed and just trying to resist but I know that can be harder than it sounds. You could also try giving yourself a daily/weekly limit, or at least using it as a reward for doing something else e.g. exercise. I know that sounds like you'd be encouraging the bad behaviour but the truth is it's fine to masturbate, and you won't feel bad about it if you've done something good first and not just sitting around all day feeling **** about yourself.

    For the phone addiction:
    Also something most people struggle with, I have considered going cold turkey and just buying an old Nokia phone, but realistically you need the internet to communicate nowadays. Maybe try putting it on flight mode for a certain number of hours per day? And when in bed, try turning your phone off and putting it away from your bed again, you're less likely to just pick it up when you don't fall asleep right away.

    For the insomnia:
    Same again, the phone is probably a large part of the problem. Turn it off or put it on flight mode at night and chuck it across the room. If you are sleeping in often, try making plans to meet people early in the morning. I find that I can get up fairly easily when I have a commitment to someone else, but struggle a lot when I'm just relying on myself. Also avoid phones, TV, caffeine close to bedtime, you should try to slowly wind down your mind before bed - you could try reading a book or taking a bath.

    Overall, the best thing that would apply to all of these problems is getting some good exercise. Seriously. The clichéd benefits of eating well and doing exercise cannot be exaggerated. Try doing some cardio eg going a run in the evening, this will definitely tire you out before bed and if you want to reward yourself with some alone time you won't feel nearly as bad about it compared to if you were just sitting around all night. Maybe join some kind of sports club or take up some kind of hobby, having something to look forward to once or a few times a week can focus your mind and stop you from feeling like you're constantly wasting your time. It will also give you some guaranteed time without your phone.

    I can't say much about your crush, it's normal to fancy someone who's good looking. You could try getting to know them and then you'll either be turned off by her **** personality or realise you like her for more than just her looks.

    Good luck man, these are some very common struggles of the 21st century unfortunately.
    Thank you , I think the the hardest thing is realising that all these problems will take really long probs months resolve
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you , I think the the hardest thing is realising that all these problems will take really long probs months resolve
    Yep, and look out for things that are causing you stress, it's the number one cause of those mood swings and addictiveness. Uni can get very stressful at times, which is another reason to make sure you have some sort of release that isn't just sitting making yourself feel bad. Make sure you keep on top of things and bite the bullet when you have a lot of work to do, otherwise you will end up putting everything off and letting the stress build up. This will result in you falling into bad habits and bad moods, and could eventually mess up your degree so stay alert with your uni work! You can rest during the holidays and when you get your degree 🙃
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    hey i know that it feels like im a pan witch means i can like pretty much every one and i get bullied ALOT. my dad was a druggy for 10 years and was never home so i was home alone most of the time . but some times he would take to these "friends" houses and my dad almost killed me we got in a crash and i lost my kidney so now i have one .and he would hurt and kill animals like cats and dogs . and my mom left me when i was a baby . but every thing turned around for me my mom hear what my dad was doing and came and picked me up from his house and now i live 2 states away from that monster yayyy !!! and now i go to an ok school and im never late and most people are nice to me and i got a bf . the point is i know others will tell you that it will ok but we dont know that but we do know that it will change for the good or the worst . even know thing have otten better for me there still not perfect my friend is gone her mom left her and she gotten tooken away by people . my friends cut them selfs. so dont tell ur self that cheezy **** ok ? the earth is ****ed and we are all gonna die one way or another so just live you life to the fullest and be you and that is will get better . 👌👌👌✌✌✌👍👍
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