Confusing guy. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
So I met this guy about 30 days ago on Grindr. We met up on a date (not a hookup) and we've been seeing each other almost everyday since.

There's lots of little things (that I don't know if i'm just being selfish here) about him that really piss me off:

- We'll be in the car and he absolutely refuses to let me play my music at all. It's genuinely not even a possibility that he would share.

- He constantly shushes me whilst we're talking. Whenever we're having a conversation he'll be on his phone and tell me shut up. It's really rude and he knows that it annoys me but I don't think he realizes when he says it.

- He frequently tells me to get the **** off of him when i'm showing affection. But then a couple of minutes later he'll come and cuddle me and do the same and it makes no sense. At that point the mood is gone for me but for him he's totally chill. I respect his personal space but he then says i'm boring if i'm not doing anything. It's not like i can talk because i just get shushed straight away anyway.

- He get's very annoyed at the smallest things (not necessarily if i cause them). Like if i use his toothpaste and don't put it back in the pot, he get's really pissed off. Someone parked in his space the other day and he wouldn't stop going on about it for the rest of the evening and it ruined the mood completely. Just yesterday he got annoyed at me because of something that wasn't even my fault or in my control at all.

- He constantly reminds me that we're not in a relationship and that he's single, but then will later say how much he likes me and misses me when i'm not around. We've been on loads of dates, had sex a couple of times and all our friends consider us boyfriends. He even says that we're in a relationship without realizing.

- He's quite rude without realizing. The other day my friend was staying at mine until she could get a lift back to hers. He came round on the way home to pick me up and take me to his. He kept stating that "we needed to go" and was getting restless, but i wasn't just going to kick my other friend out and make her wait in the rain. bare in mind he was saying all of this with her sitting across the room.

I'm trying to figure out if this is all based on his personality (maybe some learning difficulty or something, OCD? he does have to sleep with music on and refuses to listen without it whatever the case) or its based on his feelings towards me. I've spoken to his friends and they all say he's just like that. It's stressful because i constantly feel like i have no say in "whatever we are" (dating I guess). I feel like i'm being controlled and I don't want to speak up about it if it's because of a learning difficulty that he can't control, that'd just be wrong of me. He reminds me that he genuinely likes me and I really like him too. I'm totally okay with however he feels, I wouldn't want to pressure him at all (I'm obviously pressuring him too much), but i'm getting really mixed signals from him.

I don't really know what I'm on here asking? Am I the problem?

EDIT: I forgot to mention, we do have a lot of really great times together too. I wrote this as if we're really unhappy, but most the time we're great. It's just small things like this that question if I wanna take it further with him.
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Ciel.
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#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I met this guy about 30 days ago on Grindr. We met up on a date (not a hookup) and we've been seeing each other almost everyday since.

There's lots of little things (that I don't know if i'm just being selfish here) about him that really piss me off:

- We'll be in the car and he absolutely refuses to let me play my music at all. It's genuinely not even a possibility that he would share.

- He constantly shushes me whilst we're talking. Whenever we're having a conversation he'll be on his phone and tell me shut up. It's really rude and he knows that it annoys me but I don't think he realizes when he says it.

- He frequently tells me to get the **** off of him when i'm showing affection. But then a couple of minutes later he'll come and cuddle me and do the same and it makes no sense. At that point the mood is gone for me but for him he's totally chill. I respect his personal space but he then says i'm boring if i'm not doing anything. It's not like i can talk because i just get shushed straight away anyway.

- He get's very annoyed at the smallest things (not necessarily if i cause them). Like if i use his toothpaste and don't put it back in the pot, he get's really pissed off. Someone parked in his space the other day and he wouldn't stop going on about it for the rest of the evening and it ruined the mood completely. Just yesterday he got annoyed at me because of something that wasn't even my fault or in my control at all.

- He constantly reminds me that we're not in a relationship and that he's single, but then will later say how much he likes me and misses me when i'm not around. We've been on loads of dates, had sex a couple of times and all our friends consider us boyfriends. He even says that we're in a relationship without realizing.

- He's quite rude without realizing. The other day my friend was staying at mine until she could get a lift back to hers. He came round on the way home to pick me up and take me to his. He kept stating that "we needed to go" and was getting restless, but i wasn't just going to kick my other friend out and make her wait in the rain. bare in mind he was saying all of this with her sitting across the room.

I'm trying to figure out if this is all based on his personality (maybe some learning difficulty or something, OCD? he does have to sleep with music on and refuses to listen without it whatever the case) or its based on his feelings towards me. I've spoken to his friends and they all say he's just like that. It's stressful because i constantly feel like i have no say in "whatever we are" (dating I guess). I feel like i'm being controlled and I don't want to speak up about it if it's because of a learning difficulty that he can't control, that'd just be wrong of me. He reminds me that he genuinely likes me and I really like him too. I'm totally okay with however he feels, I wouldn't want to pressure him at all (I'm obviously pressuring him too much), but i'm getting really mixed signals from him.

I don't really know what I'm on here asking? Am I the problem?

EDIT: I forgot to mention, we do have a lot of really great times together too. I wrote this as if we're really unhappy, but most the time we're great. It's just small things like this that question if I wanna take it further with him.
Omg, I feel like I know him, lmao. It's his personality. 100%. Tbh - it's pretty clear - you have an issue with his pretty specific personality. But he's not going to change, don't even count on it. If it annoys you so much, it's probably a good idea to stop dating him.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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It sounds to me that he's just using you as a distraction. He obviously can't cope being by himself and doesn't want to be lonely and isn't ready for a proper relationship.
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